“You came here to assure yourself I was fine, so you could go back to ignoring me?”
“Ignoring you?” She didn’t mean to fight with him, but his accusation smarted.
“You can go away again, Lauren. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’m not dying, I’m right here, and whether my leg recovers or not I don’t need your damned sympathy.”
All her professional training was telling her this was a natural reaction, that he was saying things he didn’t mean, but her heart was crushing under his words. Not that the words themselves were hurting her but that he could believe them for even a second.
She moved to his side of the bed, her hands on her hips, her eyes boring down at him. “You’re crazy if you think I came here out of guilt or sympathy or for any damned reason besides one.”
“And what’s that?”
“Like you don’t know.”
He glared right back. “What?”
“You told me we could see each other and it wouldn’t mean anything. You told me we could have sex and I could walk away without a backwards glance, but guess what? You were wrong. I fell in love with you Rafaello Montebello and I don’t know if you love me, I don’t know if you’re interested in ever loving anyone, but I do know that if you’re hurt, I’m hurt, and there’s nowhere else I can possibly be right now than at your bedside. So don’t you dare even think about telling me to leave, because you’ll be wasting your words. And I know how to use this equipment and if I have to intubate you just to shut you up then I will. Got it?”
The only sound in the room was her harsh breathing and the whirring of the machines. She stared at him and waited, and when he still didn’t speak, eventually her breathing slowed and she moved towards the chairs, the surge of adrenaline receding, leaving only shock in its place. “I’m staying,” she said quietly, stubbornly.
Before she could sit down though, he lifted a hand, motioning for her to come bac
k to him. She hesitated and then did, crossing the floor slowly, nervously.
“I’m…not sure if I’m dreaming.”
She shook her head. “You’re not.”
“How do I know that? Every night I dream of you. All the time. And then you’re gone again. How do I know –,”
She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his, so she felt his groan reverberate through her body.
“Does that feel real to you?”
“Yes. It feels a thousand things, and real is definitely one of them.” She moved to pull away but he lifted a hand and caught it at the back of her head, holding her where she was. His strength was lessened by the accident but she wasn’t really interested in fighting him, anyway.
“Say it again so I know I’m not about to make an ass of myself.”
She eyed him quizzically. “That I love you?”
“Cristo.” His hand ran through her hair, to her shoulder, down her arm and finally to her hand. “You love me?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know – I couldn’t have even hoped –,”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to worry. I know that you don’t feel that way for me, but I still want to be here, to help you recover.”
He glowered. “No. I do not want you to stay as my nurse.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t mean –,”
“You told me you loved your husband. That you’d never love anyone else.”
“I was wrong.” She bit down on her lip, curving her hand into his, her heart skipping beats as she felt the rightness of this fall into place. “I love Thom and I always will. But our relationship was so different to this. We were best friends, and had been since we were children. I loved him, but so much of our marriage was based on my wanting to give him everything I could in life, because I knew he wouldn’t live long. He was my best friend, Raf.”
“I don’t – you don’t need to downplay it. It’s enough for me to know you can love me as well.”
She nodded, his words filling her heart in a way she hadn’t known she needed. “With you, it was so different. I felt like I’d been struck by lightning the first moment we met. You answered every question within my soul. I wouldn’t have said love at first sight was possible but what else explains this?”