Princess? I pull a face but a second later, when he lifts the blindfold from my face and I see where he’s brought me, everything makes sense. Barrett has just gone and made all eight-year-old Avery’s dreams come true. I stare at the sign with disbelief, then look back at him.
‘You...brought me to Disneyland?’
‘You said you’ve never been.’ He shrugs, like this is nothing, like this gesture isn’t the beginning and end. In all these years I’ve never told another soul about that, and I’ve never even really thought about it, to be honest. If I’d wanted to, I could have come here at any point in the last ten years. But the fact Barrett listened and organised this, that this is how he wants to spend this night...
‘We said we’d have fun,’ he murmurs, but there’s something in the words, like he’s uncertain, worried he’s messed up, going out on this Disney-shaped limb.
‘Oh, we will,’ I reassure him, lifting up and brushing my lips to his impulsively, spontaneously. ‘But don’t think I won’t be wearing mouse ears in three seconds flat.’
* * *
The joy on her face is like a beacon. I watch as Avery buys a stick of candyfloss bigger than her head. ‘You’re going to have to help me with this.’ She laughs as she walks back towards me. The sun has long since disappeared but the night is still warm and balmy. Fireworks burst overhead, bright sparkling shots of light flaring through the night sky, illuminating that signature castle in the centre of the park. I push all thoughts of the Harts from my mind—trying to ignore the sense of guilt that has been dogging me for the last few days. All I want to focus on right now is Avery and that smile of hers.
‘I’ll help you.’ I grin, dropping my head and sucking some of the ridiculously sweet candy in before pulling back. ‘That’s kind of gross.’
‘It’s not gross,’ she responds with mock offence. ‘Are you kidding? It’s the best thing ever.’
I loop an arm around her waist, walking side by side through the theme park. It’s a busy summer night but we weave through the throngs of tourists with ease, moving almost as though we were one person.
‘I can’t believe you organised this.’ She laughs, a soft sound, then lifts her face to mine.
‘Why not?’
‘It’s just so thoughtful.’
‘I can’t be the first guy who’s ever done something thoughtful for you?’
Her expression shifts a little. Consternation, worry. I read her like a book—which should, in fact, worry me, but doesn’t.
‘Actually, you are.’ But her smile is bright, falsely so. My heart hurts for her—for how hard she works to push people away. For the fact she’s spent the last ten years working her butt off, building her business and her charity but reserving herself for no one, indulging in sex when she gets a physical yearning but otherwise completely alone.
I want to ask her about that. I want to ask her what she sees for her future, where she sees her life going. I want to ask her what kind of guy could induce her to settle down but, before I can form any of those questions and certainly before I can wonder why I crave the answers, she uses the candyfloss as a pointer and exclaims, ‘Space Mountain! Let’s do it!’
Who am I to say no to that kind of excitement?
CHAPTER TEN
AS THE PLANE descends back over San Francisco I can’t help but just watch her. She’s fast asleep, the candyfloss rush having finally worn off but the mouse ears still perched atop her head. If I thought Avery Maxwell would be too cool to get into the spirit of Disneyland, boy, was I wrong. I’m wearing a souvenir T-shirt she bought for me while I was grabbing us some fries, for Christ’s sake. She shifts a little in the seat and the mouse ears move, almost losing their grip. I reach across, straightening them, then my hand drops to her cheek, skimming across her soft flesh there. She stirs and I withdraw, not wanting to wake her.
When the plane touches down she moves but stays asleep, so I lift her up, cradling her to my chest as I stride off the plane, breathing her in, holding her tight.
The car’s waiting. As I ease her into it she wakes, looking up at me, her eyes full of sleep and dreams. ‘I had a really great time tonight.’
My chest feels like it’s about to split wide open. I smile. ‘I’m glad.’
And I am. But I also feel like I’ve cheated. Taking this night, spending it with Avery, pretending this situation isn’t hell kind of complicated, was great, but I know this is coming to a head. I owe the Harts more than this; I owe them my allegiance.
Allegiance? Like I have to make a choice? They’re not two warring countries. There’s no reason this can’t be made to work. Avery’s upset and hurt but she doesn’t know Jagger, Theo and Holden like I do. She’s judging them for the sins of their father. If everyone did that, the Hart brothers would never even speak, let alone be as close-knit as they are.
But what’s the long-term plan here? Once Avery meets the Harts, do I just drop out of her life? Become her friend, like I’m friends with them? Or do I push for us to keep doing this? The idea takes hold, slipping inside me, jolting me at first with the impossibility of that and then with the necessity of it. Because I don’t want her to become a stranger to me and I don’t want her to become just a friend.
So what do I want?
‘Are you coming in?’ She lifts her eyes to me as we slow down outside her place.
I nod, not even considering going back to the hotel. ‘If that’s okay?’
She hesitates a moment and I barely breathe, then she nods. ‘Sure. Come on.’ This time she takes my hand and I follow behind her.