‘First, let me apologise.’ He reaches across and puts a hand on mine. I resist the urge to flinch. Truth be told, the urge isn’t anywhere near as strong as the one to turn my hand over and take hold of his. ‘I had no intention of sleeping with you. That wasn’t a part of this. But you were—’
‘Persistent,’ I offer, shaking my head, bitterly regretting that I fixated on Barrett as the man I wanted to use to soften my birthday night.
‘Irresistible,’ he supplies instead. ‘Irrespective of the fact I came here looking for you, I wanted you. It wasn’t about anything other than that—it was just you and me. But I should have known better, done better. I should have ignored that because this is too important to screw up.’
I don’t say anything; I can’t. Nervousness has me completely in its thrall and I’m not comfortable with that emotion so would prefer to be silent than show any hint of how I’m feeling.
‘About a month ago, I found out about you.’
I swallow. ‘You know who my father is?’
‘Yes.’ He takes a drink of his own wine. ‘I knew him well.’
I close my eyes, sucking in a deep breath of air, a thousand and one questions flooding me. All my life I have wanted these answers, and now they’re within reach I feel a dizzying sense of unreality. ‘Knew him?’
‘He passed away a few years ago.’
Anger and disbelief shred me to pieces. I don’t know if I would have wanted to meet him but to be denied even that possibility seems like a new level of cruelty.
But why am I even thinking about that? The betrayal to my mom slams me in the chest. ‘I know one thing about my father, Barrett. He ruined my mother’s life. I hate him. I don’t want to know anything about him,’ I lie, drinking more wine.
I do. I want to know everything but it’s too much. I look towards the door, contemplating my escape.
Perhaps reading my intent, he squeezes my hand. ‘I understand that.’
I shake my head, and don’t bother to fight the tears that sting my eyes now. Truth be told, I’m barely conscious of them.
‘Avery, I’ve known your father since I was a child. My father and mother were close to him.’
I shrug my shoulders. ‘So?’
‘You should know that he had other children.’
My ears thrum with my blood, my pulse a tsunami inside me. ‘What?’ The word is louder than I meant. I swallow, drink some wine, slump back in my seat in total shock. Why has this literally never occurred to me? Did I think my mother was the only woman he’d lied to? Promised the world to and then ditched when it no longer suited him.
‘Are you saying I have sisters and brothers?’
‘Just brothers.’ He pauses for a moment. ‘Three of them. And three sisters-in-law.’
I dip my head forward, almost unable to compute this. ‘You’re saying I have blood relations I didn’t know about.’
He leans forward so our knees brush beneath the table. ‘They sent me here to meet you.’ He pauses, his eyes scanning my face, and I’m too wired to care. ‘To see if you’d like to meet them.’
My stomach squeezes. I look up at him, piercing him with eyes that feel and show far too much. ‘You should have told me this way sooner.’
His guilt is obvious. ‘I know. I wish, more than anything, that I had.’
I push that aside for now. I can deal with it later. In this moment, there are way more important things to focus on. I have brothers. Three of them!
‘What are they like?’
His smile takes my breath away because it seems to tunnel through time, transporting me to the first night we met, when I didn’t know any of this.
‘They’re...a force of nature. Each of them, in their own way.’ He pauses, his expression contemplative, and I don’t mind the silence. I need a moment to regroup. I feel like the earth has stopped spinning. I throw back another gulp of wine, my head spinning. Brothers. Siblings. Family.
I have been alone for so long—over half my life now—I can’t even imagine what it would be like to not be alone.
But I instinctively rail against that. Family is as family does. At twenty-nine, I’m not exactly going to leap into these relationships headfirst. They’re not going to feel like family. Not after being raised completely apart, with no idea they even existed.