He’d been through so much, as a child and as an adult. Yet the only person he really seemed to blame was himself. She could feel the rough skin of his palm as he held her hand. He’d worked so hard, in dead-end jobs, yet he had such great talent as an artist but didn’t want to promote it. Now she understood why—because he lacked the confidence.
She loved him. It wasn’t just a silly girlish dream. It couldn’t be. She understood him now. This was more than she’d ever felt for Toby.
She had planned to tell him how she felt tonight, but now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe she shouldn’t rush him, put pressure on him. He’d told her things she was sure he’d never told anyone else. He’d shared so much with her and that should be enough for now. She squeezed his hand as they mounted the apartment steps together.
‘You all right?’ he asked. The slight frown on his face made it clear he wasn’t sure. The thought made her heart ache for him. How could such a strong, admirable man be so unsure of himself?
‘Yes, I’m wonderful.’ She glanced away. The heaviness of the conversation was making him uneasy. She needed to change the subject. ‘It’ll be nice to see Ali and Linc and Emmy again tomorrow, but I think we’re going to miss the privacy.’
He pushed the apartment door open, held it as she went in ahead of him. ‘I guess.’
‘We may have a few awkward moments with Emmy when she comes skipping over in the morning to play mechanic with you.’
‘About that…’ He stopped dead beside her, the strain clear in his voice. ‘We probably shouldn’t say anything yet.’
‘Why not?’ Jessie felt the flutter of uneasiness in her stomach.
Monroe dumped their towels on the sofa. He took his time walking into the kitchenette and getting himself a glass of water.
‘You want one?’ He held the glass up.
Jessie shook her head. ‘Why don’t you want us to say anything to Linc and Ali?’
He put the glass down with a solid plop on the breakfast bar, looked at her for the first time since they’d entered the apartment.
‘Is there something wrong, Monroe?’
When he didn’t answer straight away, she felt a lump start to form in her throat. What exactly was going on?
‘No.’ Her relief at his words was tempered by the look of regret she could see in his eyes.
Reaching across the breakfast bar, he took her hand, pulled her around beside him. Putting his palms on her cheeks, he lifted her face to his.
‘I can’t let you go, Jessie. Not yet.’
She didn’t know what to make of the statement. ‘Why would you have to?’
He gave her a light kiss. ‘Let’s just keep it private for now, okay?’ His voice was low, possessive. ‘I want it to be just the two of us. I don’t want to share you with anyone, Red. Not even Linc and Ali.’
‘But, Monroe, how can we keep it a secret? If we’re sleeping together?’
‘Come over in the evenings, after they’ve gone to bed.’
She stepped back, a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach. ‘That seems a bit sneaky.’
‘It’s not sneaky.’ He snagged her hand, before she could take another step away. ‘Listen, Jess.’ He rubbed her palm absently with his thumb. ‘Linc as good as told me to keep my hands off you.’
‘Wha-at?’ The shock came first. She pulled her hand out of his. ‘I don’t believe it. When?’
‘The morning after the barbecue. I guess he could see I was interested. He was just protecting you.’
Shock was followed by indignation. ‘But that’s…’ She spluttered to a halt, words failed her. ‘But it’s none of his business.’
‘Sure it is. He’s your brother-in-law.’
‘Exactly, he’s my brother-in-law, not my keeper. How dare he? I’ve got a good mind to give him a kick up the bum when he gets back.’
Monroe grinned at her indignation, making her more angry.