‘That’s not true,’ she replied, shaking now. ‘You told me I had no business talking to Tess. No business knowing about you and Nate. You never let me in, not really.’
‘Because I was a jerk. And terrified of you finding out something I’d believed about myself for years and wasn’t even true.’
‘Your father?’ she murmured.
‘Yeah, my father.’ He walked to the bed, sat down on it, the creak of the springs audible. ‘You know what’s ironic, when I was a little kid, I had this dumb idea he was a great guy. Back then, it was my mother who didn’t want to talk about him. But I knew who he was. Because I’d seen the photos at San Revelle and it didn’t take much to make the connection. Why my mom had gotten the job. Why the old guy who owned the place came by to ask how I was getting along from time to time.’
‘You mean your grandfather?’
He nodded stiffly. ‘But that day, before…’ He swallowed. ‘Before I saw him with her. I met him. It was hot and my mom had told me to stay away from the big house, because they had guests coming in a couple of hours for a weekend party and I shouldn’t get in the way. But he arrived early and parked right next to where I was playing on my skateboard.’ He shrugged, the movement defensive. ‘He looked me over and grinned, and said, “You’re Maria’s kid, right?” I nodded and everything inside me stopped. I figured this was the moment I’d been waiting for. That he’d tell me he was my father and maybe he’d take me for a ride in his car.’ He gave a sad smile. ‘He had a really hot cherry-red Ferrari with white wall tyres.’
She sat next to him on the bed, and placed a hand on his thigh, her heart aching for that little boy. ‘You had a passion for cars even then?’
He put his hand over hers, and nodded. ‘You want to know the only other words my father said to me?’
She wasn’t sure she did, but whispered, ‘Yes.’
He gave a brittle laugh. ‘He threw me the keys to his car and said, “Tell Mano to get this cleaned before I leave tomorrow.”’
‘Zane…’ She placed her hand on his jaw and kissed his cheek, trying to transmit all the love she had. Not just for the man, but for the boy. ‘He was a hideous human being, but that doesn’t mean you’re…’
He turned and touched his finger to her lips. ‘I know. I took your advice and finally spoke to my mother about him.’ He threaded his fingers through hers, and held on. ‘I told her what I’d seen and…’ He paused to stare at the ceiling. ‘And you were right—it didn’t matter.’
‘But, Zane, I don’t understand—how could you have ever believed it did?’
‘I was angry and hurt and scared, I guess. And when I began to have sex myself, I had this burning hunger.’ He dropped his head back, let out a rueful sigh. ‘Which I told myself I had to control or else I’d be no better than him.’ His firm lips tilted into a sexy smile. ‘Then you came along and changed everything, because I couldn’t control it any more.’
She wanted to believe him, to bask in the approval she saw in his eyes. But she knew the truth. ‘I didn’t change anything. I’m just another of your damsels in distress.’
‘You’re…What?’ He chuckled, looking bemused. ‘Iona, what the hell is that supposed to mean?’
She pulled away from him, annoyed by the easy smile that sent the dimple into his cheek. And made him look even more adorable and even further out of her reach. ‘Isn’t it obvious, Zane? Why you were attracted to me? Why you seduced me? Why you were so determined to keep me safe? Why you asked me to move in with you?’
‘No, it isn’t, not to me.’
She wrapped her arms round her waist, feeling naked under that steady gaze. ‘You rescue women, Zane. It’s what you do. Ever since that day you couldn’t rescue your mother.’ She tightened her arms, the blank look on his face making her stomach hurt. ‘I was just another one of your rescue projects. That’s all.’
He shook his head, the puzzled frown becoming more pronounced, and it was like losing him all over again. Then he said, ‘That has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.’
‘It is not!’ she said. ‘It makes complete sense if you look at the facts.’
‘The hell it does.’ Grabbing her wrist, he hauled her towards him, then tumbled her onto the bed.
‘Get off me,’ she cried, trying to buck him off. But he simply straddled her hips, and held her captive with her hands above her head.
‘Calm down,’ he said firmly, ignoring her struggles. ‘Because now it’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen.’ The sharp edge of frustration shocked her into stillness. ‘You’re right about one thing. I respect women, I want to protect them, and yeah, maybe because of what happened to my mother, I get so mad when I see a woman hurt—whether she’s some sweet old lady who’s been mugged by a gang member or a teenage hooker who’s been beaten up by her pimp—that I have a hard time controlling it. But that doesn’t have a damn thing to do with us.’
Bracketing her wrists, he pressed them into the mattress, the cold steel in his voice flatly contradicted by the warmth in his eyes as his gaze roamed over her face. ‘Because that’s not a tenth of what I feel for you.’ The steel softened and her heart throbbed into her throat. He leaned close, the tender touch of his lips on hers bringing tears to her eyes. ‘Now tell me you believe me.’
She nodded, her throat too tight with emotion to form words.
Letting go of her hands, he framed her face in rough palms. ‘Now kiss me again, querida—and show me you mean it.’
His tongue tangled with hers and she strained upwards, flinging her arms around his neck to give him the proof he needed—the leap of joy in her heart as intoxicating as the hunger coiling low in her belly.
When he raised his head, she could feel the satisfying weight of his erection against the bare skin of her thigh, hear the ragged sound of her own breathing and see so much more than hunger in his eyes.
‘So are you gonna stop messing around now and come home to me and C.D.?’ he asked.