Please accept this sketch as a small thank you for all your help. The money is to pay for the groceries and the phone call I made to my dad in Scotland. I hope it’s enough?
All the best, Iona
Not one mention of last night. He’d had her sobbing out her release in his arms less than eight hours ago and now he didn’t get a decent goodbye?
Cool it, don’t get too worked up.
He didn’t want to spook her. Or give her the idea this was more than it was. So he needed to be careful.
He lifted both palms up, and kept the nonchalant smile in place. ‘Because I need to know you’re safe. I used to be a cop, remember.’
‘That’s the only reason?’ Her cheeks turned a charming shade of magenta and he felt the answering spike of lust. Damn, he’d forgotten how much that easy blush turned him on.
‘Yeah, what else?’ he said, more than happy to oblige if she suggested she wanted a little more than that.
It occurred to him in that moment that this would be the perfect opportunity to give Iona The Speech.
The one about how he wasn’t a good bet for the long haul, how he wasn’t looking for anything too heavy, but how he really liked her in the here and now. He’d given The Speech to every woman he’d ever dated since leaving high school, usually long before they slept together, so it was already overdue.
But as he waited for her reply The Speech sat on the tip of his tongue like a bad taste—and he realised he didn’t want to give it to her.
Not that he wanted anything heavy with her. He didn’t. Exposing yourself to that kind of commitment simply wasn’t in his make-up. He enjoyed the chase way too much, the challenges and the flirting and the non-stop sex that came at the beginning of a relationship—and the cooling-off period afterwards, when he had discovered all of a woman’s secrets and she started nagging him to return the favour, a whole lot less.
He’d had some sticky moments in his twenties, when he’d been less aware of who he was and what he wanted, and he’d made the mistake of lingering too long. But since then he’d become an expert in reading the signs, getting his timing right and letting the women he dated down gently before they got the wrong idea.
But then Iona had thrown his usual dating routine totally out of whack right from the start and not one single thing had gone according to plan since. When was the last time he’d slept with a woman on a first date, or effectively been a woman’s first lover? Because he wasn’t counting what had happened with that deadbeat Demarest.
And then there was yesterday night. When was the last time he’d had to stop a woman touching him, simply so that he could keep a lid on his own desire? Not since he was a teenager.
But last night, he’d had to practically tie her down to stop her from tipping him over the edge.
She’d confused things again today, by not calling—leaving the need for her burning hot and hard, and forcing his hand. And now, for the first time ever, The Speech felt kind of redundant.
With all the whys and why nots and what the hells fogging up his mind as he waited, he didn’t hear her muffled reply.
‘What was that?’
She lifted her head and stared straight at him. ‘I think you’re right, Zane.’
‘About what?’
‘That it’s better if we don’t sleep together again.’
‘Huh?’ When did I say that?
He stared at her, dumbfounded, The Speech forgotten.
‘I had fun last night,’ she continued in the same steady serious voice. ‘You were…’ her blush brightened ‘…completely amazing.’
‘Thanks,’ he said flatly, more irritated than flattered. He’d been praised before for his skills in the sack, and it had always given him a nice little ego-boost, but it didn’t feel like much of an achievement now. Did she think she owed him something, because the man who’d taken her virginity had been such a selfish jerk?
‘But I don’t want to complicate things,’ she continued as he tried to concentrate on what she was saying and not the low level irritation grinding in his gut. ‘Especially if I’m going to stay here.’
Okay, that did it.
‘Sex doesn’t have to be complicated,’ he said. ‘Not if we keep things casual.’
‘But it doesn’t feel casual, if you feel responsible for me.’