‘We’re not pretending,’ he said. ‘This is a real marriage—it says so on the paperwork you signed.’
She tugged out of his arms. ‘That would be the paperwork that has a sell-by date on it, would it?’
His frown deepened.
‘When exactly is that sell-by date, Lukas?’ she continued, her heart hurting at the blank look on his face. ‘When the baby’s born? Once the press are convinced you’re not a deadbeat dad? When you’re bored with sleeping with me? Because I’m assuming you get to make that choice, not me.’ Why was she letting him turn their marriage into something cold and sterile and businesslike when it could be so much more than that?
‘Hey, calm down.’ He grasped her elbow, tugged her back to him. Then cupped her cheek in his palm. ‘You’re tired. It’s been a long couple of days, I get that. We don’t have to sleep together tonight. It can wait,’ he said, completely missing the point.
His lips tipped up in a tight smile, but still she could see the strain around his mouth.
‘But we are going to consummate it, Bronte,’ he said. ‘I’m not having you slip out of this deal on a technicality.’
She stared at him and suddenly something dawned on her that she hadn’t let herself hope for. What if this marriage meant more to him too?
Why had she accepted all his cold, calculating reasons for demanding this marriage? Was it because a part of that scared, rejected little girl still lurked inside her?
‘Sex isn’t going to solve this problem, Lukas.’ She shrugged away from his touch as she gathered all her courage and forced herself to face all the fears and insecurities that had lived inside her for so long, and held her back without her even knowing it. ‘Do you want to know why I agreed to this marriage?’
He stared at her, the look in those onyx eyes both wary and tense. ‘You agreed because I threatened to take Nico away from you,’ he said, but his gaze flicked away from her—and she finally acknowledged what she had known all along in her subconscious when he’d made the threat... He would never have followed through on it.
His gaze dipped to her belly. ‘And because you’re having my child.’
‘I guess I wanted to convince myself those were the reasons. But it’s actually much simpler than that. I agreed to marry you, Lukas, because I love you.’
‘What?’ The flash of fear in his eyes was all the answer she needed to all the questions she’d been asking ever since they had met. ‘Damn it, Bronte, don’t say that.’
‘Why not?’ she said as she finally admitted the whole truth to herself.
She’d been scared too, scared of admitting how she really felt about him—not just to him but to herself. Because of her father’s rejection all those years ago. And she’d been scared of telling him about the baby. Because she was terrified of his response.
And why was she so scared? Because she’d convinced herself, deep down, that she didn’t deserve love or respect. She didn’t deserve to be cherished. That she was better off alone. That she could fill her life with loving Nico—and loving this baby—and that would be enough.
But that was crap. Because the truth was she wanted so much more than that. She deserved more than that. They both did. And so did their child. But if she wanted more, she was going to have to fight for it.
If she allowed this marriage to start based on a lie, if she allowed Lukas to hide his feelings the way she had tried to hide hers, the chance of building something lasting, something strong and real and worthwhile would die before it could ever be born.
‘You mustn’t fall in love with me,’ he said and she could hear the fear plainly in his voice now. She wondered if he could hear it too. ‘You’ll only regret it when this marriage has to end.’
‘Why does it have to end?’ She finally asked the question that had been lurking inside her for two days. The question she’d been too cowardly to voice.
‘Don’t make me say it.’
‘You owe me an answer,’ she said.
‘Fine.’ He sighed, the sound so resigned it broke her heart. ‘It will end eventually...when you realise I can’t love you back.’
‘Why can’t you?’
* * *
Lukas’s guts felt as if they were being torn out. How had it come to this? How could he have not seen this coming? He was supposed to be the one in control and yet Bronte had blindsided him again.
Not with that sweet, sexy, responsive body this time, but with her far too open and generous heart.
She didn’t know what the hell she was saying. He hadn’t meant to hurt her like this. His anger at her deception over the pregnancy had died as soon as she had agreed to this devil’s bargain. And in the last few days he’d acknowledged the real reasons he’d blackmailed her into this... He wanted her even though he knew he could never deserve her. Or make her happy.
And now she would discover the truth. Because he would have to come clean with her. To tell her why he was damaged goods. Why, despite all the trappings of wealth and success he’d clung to for so long, he had been emotionally bankrupt—a broken human being—ever since he was seven years old. It was why he had never been able to properly grieve for his own brother, why he had found it so hard to bond with Nico, why he’d tried so hard to control any feelings he had for Bronte and the boy. Why he knew that, despite what she said, all he could ever really offer their child was financial security. And why this marriage could never be real, why it would never last.