I earned a very good salary from Camaro. But I still had student loans to pay, not to mention Cai’s childcare and a large mortgage for our tiny flat in west London. I wouldn’t be able to afford a legal team anywhere near as fancy as Alexi’s... I took a steadying breath.
Don’t go getting ahead of yourself.
I didn’t even know yet what he wanted to do. It was quite possible he wouldn’t even want any custody. He hadn’t exactly seemed overjoyed at the news he had a son. Just stunned, wary and then angry. I might well be panicking about nothing. Perhaps this meeting was simply to punish me for not telling him about his child.
‘Why are you going to Monaco? Is it a work thing?’ Jessie’s calming voice drew me back to the present before the panic started to choke me again.
‘Sort of,’ I attempted to lie, but my response didn’t sound convincing even to me. I had always been a terrible liar.
‘It’s not to do with Alexi Galanti, then?’ Jessie’s question had my belly knotting.
‘How do you know about him?’ I rasped.
‘I looked him up after he freaked you out so much in Barcelona.’
‘Right,’ I said. I thought I’d managed to hide that from Jessie. ‘So you noticed that, huh?’
‘Yes, I noticed that, Belle. I also noticed his resemblance to Cai. Is he his father?’ She’d never asked me the question before, and I’d been pathetically grateful for that over the years, but I could see now that was just more evidence of what a coward I’d been. Jessie had a right to know. She’d helped me get back on my feet when I’d turned up on her doorstep pregnant, destitute and distraught.
‘Yes, he is,’ I said.
‘And I’m assuming he knows that too, if he’s an observant man.’
Alexi was certainly that. ‘He insisted on a DNA test.’ His mistrust still stung, but I was trying to make that not about me.
Alexi had never really trusted anyone, especially not women, not since his mother had run away and left his brother and him alone to deal with their alcoholic father.
‘The results came through from his lawyer this morning,’ I continued. ‘He’s arranged for me to fly to Monaco to talk about his plans.’
‘His plans?’ Jessie asked. ‘That sounds arrogant.’
‘You have no idea,’ I murmured. ‘I’m scared. I have no idea what he’s planning to tell me, but I doubt it will be pleasant. I’m scared he’s so angry with me he might try to use Cai to get back at me,’ I added, finally voicing my real fear.
Alexi still believed I was a gold-digger and a whore, a woman who had cheated on his brother and lied to protect herself. Who got ahead by using men and then discarding them. A woman who had no loyalty, no honour and no morals. Given that I’d only ever slept with him, his low opinion of me would almost be funny if it weren’t so damning and... I swallowed sharply, finally forced to admit something else...hurtful. It shamed me to realise Alexi’s low opinion still had the power to hurt me when Cai’s feelings were the only thing that mattered now.
‘What makes you think he’ll do that?’ Jessie asked, sounding shocked and a little scared too. If she’d inve
stigated Alexi at all she had to know how rich he was, and how powerful.
‘Well, mostly the fact that he demanded to see me, but not Cai. I’m not even sure if he wants to be a father. He hardly mentions Cai in the letter.’
‘Okay.’ Jessie sighed, sounding relieved. ‘Perhaps that’s not all that surprising, though.’
‘How so?’ I asked.
‘He’s a billionaire playboy who seems to have a revolving-door policy with girlfriends.’ Okay, so Jessie had really checked him out. ‘What does he know about the needs of a four-year-old? Or being a father, for that matter? He’s clearly super-arrogant but he doesn’t strike me as a stupid man. Perhaps he’s simply asked to see you alone first so he can get a better handle on being a dad.’ She coughed. ‘As well as give you hell for keeping Cai a secret for so long...’ Jessie’s voice trailed off into silence, but I could hear the soft note of censure. She’d never asked me about the circumstances of Cai’s parentage, because I’d always made it clear to her I didn’t want to discuss it, but I could hear the question in her tone now even if she hadn’t asked it.
Why had I done it?
‘Belle, you’re not scared of him for any other reason, are you?’ she asked gently. ‘He didn’t hurt you, did he? Force you in any way? That isn’t why you ran, is it? Why you didn’t want him to know about his son?’
‘God, no!’ I rasped as the shame cascaded through me.
‘Are you sure?’ she probed again.
‘Yes, it wasn’t like that,’ I said, but the tightening in my throat made it hard for me to speak as every detail of our encounter flooded back—hot, febrile and exciting, but never frightening.
And I finally had the real answer why I was so scared to return to Villa Galanti and face Alexi alone. It wasn’t just because of the hostile reception I knew I would face from him. It wasn’t fear of what plans he might have for Cai’s custody or even his motivations behind them. It was the harsh truth that my desire for him had never died and spending two days and one night in his company—at the location of my original downfall—had the potential to bring all those needs and wants hurtling back.