‘Perhaps.’ He might not have loved her as much as he’d always thought but he still wasn’t sure he could totally forget the effect what she’d done had had on him.
‘Is it really water under the bridge?’ she asked, a flicker of doubt and uncertainty leaping in her eyes.
‘She certainly is,’ he said, thinking that he’d never meant anything more.
Zoe smiled. ‘I’m glad.’
So was he. As the Master of Ceremonies called for silence from somewhere on the other side of the marquee he looked down at her, something warm, weird and unidentifiable swimming around inside him. ‘Thank you,’ he murmured.
‘What for?’
‘I don’t know exactly...Just, thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ she said softly, pulling herself out of his arms and giving him a little push. ‘You’d better go and get ready to make your speech.’
* * *
Zoe heard the groom tap the microphone and begin to speak, but her eyes were on Dan, who was leaning down and saying something to the mother of the bride that made her smile. He was so gorgeous, so confident and so thoughtful. And yes, possibly a bit complicated, sometimes a little rash and occasionally as stubborn as a mule but that only made him all the more fascinating.
He made her happy, she realised with a warm glow. Very happy. He made her wake up every morning they were together with a smile on her face, and she liked it. No wonder she was in love with him, she thought dreamily as her heart melted. No wonder she absolutely adored him.
She watched him for a second longer, smiling and straightening and turning his attention to the groom and then it hit her, properly, and she went still in shock.
Bloody hell. She loved him? How on earth had that happened? And when?
She wasn’t even sure she believed in love. To someone generally logical and rational like her, love had always seemed intangible and unquantifiable, and as for the thought of entrusting her well-being and happiness to someone else, well, that had always seemed way too risky to try. She’d told herself that s
hould she ever commit to someone she’d happily settle for sex, friendship and a meeting of minds. She’d never really counted love as a requirement.
But it felt pretty tangible and quantifiable right now, she thought, her pulse suddenly racing and her head filling with a kind of rushing noise. She could feel great buckets of the stuff vibrating through her. It was swelling her heart with amazement and happiness, making it thump crazily against her ribs as if the confines of her chest were too tight.
Dimly aware of the sound of clapping breaking out around her Zoe did the same and raised her glass but hardly noticed that the bride’s father had now taken over the microphone.
She was too busy reeling, because the realisation that she was potty about Dan, and probably had been for ages, suddenly made sense of all the feelings that had continually surprised her with their intensity. Such as the hurt she’d felt when they’d had that row about the test he’d subjected her to and the pain when she’d thought that as a result they were over. Or their inconceivability, like the weird way the pregnancy that never was kept creeping into her head, only with the variation that the test had been positive, Dan had been delighted and they’d all lived happily ever after.
And then today, all that lovely warmth that had seeped through her in the church when he’d seen her and they’d had that silent conversation, the jealousy she’d experienced over the prospect of the chief bridesmaid getting her talons into him, the bile that had surged up inside her when Dan’s mother had said she hoped to have better luck next time and the despondency she’d felt at the lack of intentions Dan had demonstrated towards her.
And then there’d been that odd protectiveness that had streaked through her when she’d felt Dan tense and seen him pale when he spied Natalie. She’d wanted to plant herself in front of him like a shield or something. Which she’d thought odd at the time, but now seemed perfectly logical because no one messed with the people she cared about.
So had she beaten the odds and found her One? she wondered, her heart pounding and her hands trembling a little with the idea of it. God, she hoped so. She really did.
But was she his One? It was impossible to tell. Yes, he’d invited her here when he’d never planned to take anyone and yes, she got the feeling recently that he might be wanting more, but how much more? Would she ever be able to pluck up the courage and ask? Should she tell him how she felt? Leave it until he did? Agh, these feelings, this situation, the uncertainty and the unpredictability of everything that happened from now on were all so new to her she had no idea what to do.
‘Great speeches,’ said a voice to her left, yanking her out of the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that were churning around inside.
In something of a daze Zoe looked round to see a woman beaming at her. Heavens, speeches in the plural? Had she missed all of them? Even Dan’s? She really had been lost in thought. At least she’d had the benefit of hearing his when he’d practised it on her last week and had had her in stitches. ‘Oh. Er. Yes,’ she said, managing a weak smile. ‘Hilarious.’
‘I’m Lizzie,’ said the woman, her eyes sparkling and her smile turning even warmer.
‘Zoe,’ said Zoe, feeling woolly-headed and battered by everything she’d discovered in the last quarter of an hour.
‘Nice to meet you,’ she said, holding out her hand.
‘You too,’ said Zoe, shaking it distractedly.
‘So, Zoe, you and Dan were looking pretty cosy back there behind the table plan.’
‘Were we?’ she said dreamily, watching him posing for photographs with the wedding party.