‘The wedding,’ she said, thinking that this was not the time for humour.
‘Huge. Unfortunately. He’s an earl and there’s a lot of family.’
Yup. Worse than her worst nightmare. ‘I don’t know...’ she said, shifting her gaze to the revolving door, which was beginning to spin with a couple of people making their way in. ‘Would it really be all that appropriate to take a fling to a family wedding?’
At the ensuing silence Zoe looked back at him and thought she saw him pale a little. His jaw tightened and his smile faded and any hint of amusement had vanished. ‘Forget it,’ he said flatly. ‘I shouldn’t have asked.’
And then it struck her that what with the edginess and the abruptness and everything this was a big deal for him. Well, of course it was. He was asking her to a family wedding, and presumably, if it was so close as to take place a week on Saturday, he hadn’t originally intended to ask anyone.
For a man who didn’t do long-term and shuddered at the idea of commitment, it was a big deal. And so maybe she shouldn’t be resisting it quite so stubbornly, at least not without some kind of explanation.
‘You’re probably busy anyway,’ he drawled as if it didn’t matter one way or another, and Zoe dragged her attention back to him.
‘No, wait,’ she said, giving her head a quick shake and pulling herself together. ‘Let me explain.’
‘You don’t have to explain anything,’ he said, his expression utterly inscrutable. ‘I just thought the afternoon would be more fun if you were there, but if you don’t want to go with me that’s fine.’
‘It’s not that.’
‘Then what is it?’
God, where to start? ‘I’m just not very good in social situations.’
Dan frowned. ‘I hadn’t noticed that.’
‘No, well, that’s because you haven’t seen me in very many. But generally I’m rubbish. I don’t do well at parties and things. Great crowds of people make me panic so I tend to lurk in the background and run if anyone so much as looks in my direction. And I never ever say the right thing. Why do you think I spend so much of my time at work?’
He regarded her thoughtfully for a second then said, ‘This is the self-esteem thing again, isn’t it?’
‘Very probably.’ But who cared why? The fact was that if she went, apart from it completely stressing her out, he could well end up regretting asking her and even maybe ruing hooking up with her in the first place. ‘Look, what I’m trying to say is that if I went to this wedding with you I’d either be skulking round the edges of the marquee trying not to be noticed or I’d say something idiotic. Either way I’d ruin it for you.’
‘Given that my mother will be there it’ll be pretty much ruined anyway.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Whenever there’s a wedding in the family there are bets on how long it’ll be before I’m the one heading up the aisle.’
‘And you’re not planning to do that any time soon?’
‘Certainly not.’
Zoe ignored the dart of whatever it was that shot through her at that. ‘Then why don’t you just not go?’
‘I’m the best man.’
‘Oh. Well, yes, I can see how that might require your presence,’ she said with a nod. ‘But don’t you think that turning up with me might fuel the speculation and make things worse?’ Not to mention the fact that presumably he’d be otherwise engaged a lot of the
time so she wouldn’t even have his reassurance to keep her on the straight and narrow.
‘Undoubtedly, but I’ve discovered I don’t particularly care any more. Let them speculate.’
‘You’ve given this a lot of thought.’
He shrugged. ‘Some. It had also occurred to me that your presence would have helped fend off the chief bridesmaid, but I dare say I can manage on my own.’
That grabbed her attention. Who the hell was the chief bridesmaid? ‘The chief bridesmaid?’ she said, feeling her eyes narrow.
‘She came up to me at the engagement party and told me how much she was looking forward to me fulfilling all of my best-man duties. Then she kissed my cheek, muttered something about there being copious amounts of mistletoe on order and gave me a wink that I can only describe as lascivious.’