‘And you’ve waited all this time before saying anything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why?’
‘I thought you’d tell me in time. But you didn’t.’
‘Why didn’t you just ask when you found it?’
Bloody good question, and one he couldn’t—didn’t want to, perhaps—answer. ‘I’m asking now.’
‘Well, don’t worry, I’m not pregnant,’ she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. ‘There’s no baby.’
Another woman, another time, but exactly the same words said in exactly the same way and something inside him went very cold. ‘There’s isn’t now or there never was?’
‘There never was.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course I’m sure. I was late. I thought it wise to do a test. But the day you left for the States I got my period.’
‘Thank God.’ The relief was staggering, although whether it was relief that she wasn’t pregnant or relief that she hadn’t been lying to him he didn’t know.
Zoe frowned. ‘What’s this all about, Dan?’
‘I’m sorry. I thought...’ He shook his head then pushed a hand through his hair and gave a tight humourless laugh. ‘Well, you don’t want to know what I thought.’
‘Actually,’ she said, folding her arms across her chest and looking at him so steadily that he knew she wasn’t going to let him get away without explaining, ‘I do.’
* * *
As the clock ticked loudly in the ensuing silence Dan sat brooding and unresponsive for such a long time that Zoe was beginning to think he wasn’t going to tell her what he’d been thinking or what was going on. By now, though, she was desperate to know because the conversation had taken an unexpected twist and she wasn’t sure how she’d respond if he shrugged and told her it was ‘nothing’.
But then he nodded as if internally agreeing to something and said, ‘A while ago I went out with someone.’
‘Jasmine?’
‘Before that,’ he said, his voice eerily flat. ‘Way before that. Eight years ago when I was in my mid-twenties.’
‘What happened?’
‘She got pregnant.’
As there wasn’t any sign of a small child running around, Zoe braced herself. ‘And?’
‘She had an abortion.’
‘Oh.’ She didn’t really know what else to say to that. ‘Why?’
‘A baby didn’t fit in with he
r career plan.’
The bitterness in his voice told her he hadn’t agreed, but Zoe didn’t feel she was either qualified or had the right to judge his ex-girlfriend’s actions. ‘It happens,’ she said.
‘I know.’ He paused, frowned, and when he looked up at her his eyes were so expressionless, so empty, that her chest ached. ‘But you’d think she might have bothered to discuss it with me first.’
‘Didn’t she?’