Or had she?
Matt’s head went so fuzzy he thought he might be about to pass out. He stopped. Bent over and planted his hands on this thighs, his heart pounding and breath ragged.
Oh, God. She hadn’t been wrong. The realisation banged around his head, making his body feel far weaker than the run had.
He did want to stay on the island and he was sick of always being alone.
And if she’d been right about that then what else had she been right about? Was he scared? No, he wasn’t scared of anything.
Except possibly the depth of his feelings for Laura.
Matt froze and he shot up, his knees nearly buckling. His head throbbed. Spun. The barriers he’d built up around his heart suddenly shattered and as they did every emotion he’d ever buried crashed through him and everything he’d ever thought he believed came tumbling down around him.
Oh, God. No wonder he was in such a state. No wonder he couldn’t sleep at night and couldn’t think straight. He wanted a lot more than a fling with Laura. He wanted everything. Because he was in love with her. Deeply and completely.
The knowledge slammed into his head and he began to shake. Hell. When had that happened? When had the idea of going back to his previous life become so unappealing?
And how did Laura feel about him? Could he dare hope that she loved him back? His mind shot back to the look in her eyes, the one that had put the fear of God into him, just before she’d left. God, she did. Matt’s heart began to soar and then plummeted.
Or at least she had.
His stomach churned with dread. Laura was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he’d let her leave. How could he have done that? Because he was terrified of screwing up again? Of pouring everything he had into a relationship and watching it crumble to dust?
But that wouldn’t happen with Laura, would it? What he’d had with Alicia would never have lasted. They’d been too young and had wanted entirely different things out of life. Ultimately he’d called off the engagement because he’d discovered he actually preferred working to spending time with her. Ultimately he hadn’t loved her enough.
But with Laura, he loved her so much. And he’d behaved appallingly.
Realisations pummelled through him, each one thudding into his brain hot on the heels of another, making him feel quite weak. What was the point of wanting to return to his previous life when it suddenly seemed empty and lonely? What was the point of clinging on to his business when he wanted to stay on Sassania? And what was the point of having that big old house in Little Somerford, sitting there empty and neglected?
In fact without her, what was the point of anything?
Matt harnessed all the emotions suddenly pounding through him, set his jaw and ran back in the direction of the palace. He’d acted like a prize idiot and it was high time he started putting things right. He could only hope he hadn’t left it too late.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘PIZZA, Chinese or Indian?’ said Kate, sitting next to Laura on the sofa and holding up a fan of menus.
Laura continued zapping mindlessly through the TV channels. ‘I don’t mind,’ she said listlessly. ‘You choose. I’m not that hungry.’
Kate gently took the remote control out of Laura’s hand, got up from the sofa and planted herself cross-legged on the floor between her and the television. ‘Laura, you have to eat.’
‘I do eat.’ A bit. When she remembered. But to be honest her appetite for food had vanished. As had her appetite for most things. Like getting up in the morning. Fresh air. Breathing even. In fact there didn’t seem much point to anything any more.
‘More than a couple of slices of toast a day,’ Kate said shrewdly.
Laura sighed. ‘I know. And I will. It’s just that at the moment I feel so…so…’ She couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t voice all the stuff that was churning around inside her. The pain, the emptiness, the yearning and so much more besides. ‘Hollow,’ she said eventually, blinking away the tears that stung the backs of her eyes.
‘Pizza it is, then,’ said Kate, tossing the other menus down and waving the remaining one at Laura. ‘Pizza’s filling, and always good at a time of crisis. As is wine.’
Laura gave her a wan smile. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘And thank you for letting me stay.’
‘No problem.’
‘Sorry for being such lousy company.’
‘Don’t worry about it. It’s completely understandable. Now what would you like?’
Laura hiccoughed as surprise momentarily lightened her heart. Kate was actually asking her instead of steamrollering ahead. Wow. May