‘You said you’d never take the risk on us. You said you couldn’t.’
‘I know,’ he muttered again, the panic flooding back as it dawned on him that he was staggering around on unknown territory in the dark without a torch.
‘Do you have any idea how much that hurt?’
Her eyes flashed with pain, the pain that he’d caused. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his throat as rough and dry as sandpaper. ‘I’d do anything to be able to go back and fix things.’
She tilted her head and shrugged as if she couldn’t care less. ‘So what’s changed?’ she asked, arching an eyebrow and shooting him a cool glance, and for the first time in his life Will knew what real fear felt like.
It felt like an icy hand clutching his heart. It felt like a gallon of acid swilling around in his stomach. It felt like the bleakness of a lifetime of loneliness, a future that yawned ahead of him empty and cold.
‘I have,’ he said, clearing his throat in an effort to beat back the bone-chilling dread that he’d screwed things up beyond repair.
‘I see.’
And as he looked at her, clearly deliberating over what decision she was going to make, he realised he was going to have to fight as he’d never had to fight before.
‘I’m sorry I reacted like a jerk when you told me you loved me,’ he said, nearly passing out with the force with which everything he wanted to say slammed into his head. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you I loved you. I didn’t think I deserved it. I never allowed myself to wish for it. I didn’t think I could have it.’
Bella blinked. ‘You could have had everything,’ she said simply, and his heart wrenched. ‘And you rejected it. Deliberately.’
‘I was terrified.’
Her eyes widened. ‘Terrified?’
Will raked his hands through his hair and dragged in a deep ragged breath. ‘My feelings for you scared the hell out of me. They still do a bit, to be honest.’
Bella frowned. ‘And what feelings would those be?’ she said cautiously.
‘I have so many I barely know where to start.’
‘Well, I’m not going anywhere,’ she said, her frown disappearing as she flashed him the ghost of a smile. A smile that, however faint, warmed his soul and gave him more encouragement than he could have hoped for.
Will swallowed and felt a tremor run through him. ‘I am utterly in awe of you, Bella. The way you don’t let the past dictate your future. The way you’ve always chosen the path you want to take. The way you face your demons head-on and don’t hide behind anything. You are the bravest, most incredible woman I’ve ever met.’
A light flickered in the depths of her eyes and his heart began to thunder. ‘Really?’
He nodded. ‘Really. You are also beautiful and clever and kind and talented and-’
Her smile deepened. ‘Don’t forget my wicked way with a pair of handcuffs.’
‘As if I could ever forget that.’ He gazed at her. ‘I love you, Bella. I love you more than I ever thought possible and I just want to do everything in my power to make you happy. To make your dreams come true.’ He paused. Felt his heart quake a little. ‘If you’ll let me, that is.’
As if she’d ever really had any choice, thought Bella, her whole body shaking with happiness as she looked up at the earnest expression on his face and the promise blazing in his eyes. She’d been utterly lost the minute he’d admitted to being terrified. Ah, who was she kidding? She’d been lost the minute she’d laid eyes on him.
‘That was quite a speech,’ she said, feeling an unstoppable smile spread across her face.
Will frowned. ‘Yes, well, I’ve no doubt it could have been better but I didn’t have much of a chance to practise.’
‘You didn’t need to,’ she said, closing the distance between them and winding her arms around his neck. ‘It was perfect.’
Letting out a deep breath, and with it all the tension that had been gripping his body, Will folded his arms around her and clasped her against him as if he never wanted to let her go. ‘You can’t imagine how delighted I am you think so.’ His eyes blazed into hers and Bella trembled. ‘So will you? Let me try and give you everything you want, I mean.’
‘I think I probably should.’ She lifted her eyebrows and grinned up at him. ‘After all, it sounds like you could learn a lot from me.’
‘I could.’
And then he lowered his head and captured her mouth with his and kissed her with the passion of everything he’d just said. He kissed her until she was melting with desire and happiness and love.