‘I should call Mrs G and see how Josh is,’ she murmured, determinedly ignoring the heat beginning to wind through her and reluctantly trying to ease away from him.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Finn muttered against the sensitive skin of her neck that he was nuzzling as he clamped his hands on her hips to hold her still and then rolled over to pin her to the bed. ‘I, on the other hand, am not,’ he said, his eyes dark with need as he looked down into hers. ‘I’m in pain.’
‘You’re insatiable.’
‘That would make two of us, then.’
‘A good mother would prioritise her son over sex.’
‘You are a good mother.’
‘You have to be kidding,’ she said, staring up at him in disbelief. ‘I’ve been a terrible mother.’
‘Rubbish.’
‘Have you forgotten how Josh and I came into your life?’
‘You were ill.’
‘Doesn’t matter.’
Clearly realising that sex wasn’t happening, although to his credit he didn’t emit so much as a whisper of a resigned sigh, Finn lifted himself off her and lay on his side, propping himself up on his elbow beside her instead.
‘Of course it does,’ he said, with such certainty that she was almost convinced. ‘How’s he doing?’
She thought about her happy little boy and the way his tiny, chubby arms lifted up and reached for her when she walked into the room. About how, when she lifted him up, he actually snuggled into her. Josh’s well-being couldn’t all be down to Finn and Mrs Gardiner, could it?
‘OK, so maybe I’m not so bad now,’ she said as a different kind of warmth stole through her, ‘but before...’
‘Remember your bedsit?’
A picture of peeling paint and threadbare carpet flashed into her head and at the back of her throat she thought she could taste a trace of damp. ‘I’d rather not,’ she muttered with a shudder, pulling the sheet up to dispel the flurry of goosebumps.
‘You weren’t going to let me take Josh without you.’
‘Well, no, but—’
‘Trust me. You’re doing fine. And you’re around,’ he added. ‘Which is a plus.’
A shadow flitted across the lean lines of his face and her heart twanged in her chest. ‘How did you cope without your mother?’
‘I have no idea.’
‘But you did.’
‘Of course.’
Oh, to have his confidence, she thought wistfully. To not be in doubt about anything or anyone. She’d never met anyone so sure of himself and it was hard not to envy him. ‘I was so jealous of you, you know,’ she said, shooting him a quick smile.
‘When?’ he asked with a faint frown.
‘Those first few days after we came to stay. When I walked into your kitchen the morning after we arrived and found you feeding Josh so adeptly. There was a time when I couldn’t work out which bottle to use or how to mix formula. And then later, being with him, playing with him... You just automatically seemed to know what you were doing and I resented that.’
‘Believe me, I didn’t.’
‘Really?’
‘I’ve never had such a steep learning curve.’