‘Sure.’ She stood aside to let him in, and closed her eyes against the effect of his scent on her.
‘Here,’ he said, handing her the bag of food once she’d closed the door and turned back to him. ‘Supper?’
‘Yes,’ she said, taking it from him and dumping it in the kitchen before heading onto the terrace, where at least there was air. And rosé. ‘Wine?’ she asked him, indicating the bottle with a wave of her hand before sitting down.
‘No, thank you,’ he said, folding himself into the only other chair on her balcony and fixing his gaze on her, at which point she realised that her eyes and nose were probably red and her cheeks had to be horribly blotchy, but it was too late to worry about that. He was too big for her balcony, really. Not to mention wildly out of place, with his gorgeous Italian looks and the edge that she found so attractive, while she looked a wreck. She’d been right about their lives being worlds apart. His house had a view of Venice. Hers had a view of a car park.
‘So what are you doing here, Rico?’ she said, unable to stand the scrutiny and the tension any longer. ‘I thought you weren’t planning a trip to London.’
‘I went to see Finn this afternoon.’
Oh. Well. That was good. ‘I’m glad.’
‘It was time.’
What else might it be time for? Her? No. She was through with trying to figure out what he was thinking. ‘Are you going to see him again?’
‘I’m hoping to, yes.’
That was probably why he’d come. To give her an update about something he knew she cared deeply about. ‘Then I guess our paths are bound to cross in the future,’ she said, the smile she fixed to her face the hardest thing she’d had to do in weeks. ‘But it needn’t be embarrassing. You don’t need to worry that I’ll be making a fool of myself again. It’ll be like nothing ever happened.’
He gave a harsh laugh and shoved his hands through his hair. ‘Believe me, tesoro, that is not something I’m worried about.’
‘Then what are you worried about?’
‘That I might have screwed things up with you for good.’
Her heart hammered and time seemed to slow right down. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m in love with you, Carla.’
She went very still as his words hit her brain. ‘What?’ she breathed.
‘I love you.’
‘Since when?’
‘Since the moment I met you, I suspect,’ he said with the faintest of smiles that faded when he added, ‘I only realised it, however, two hours and thirty minutes ago. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.’
‘But you sent me away,’ she said, desperately wanting to believe him but so very wary at the same time.
‘I know.’
‘You hurt me.’
‘I’m so sorry. Every time I think about what I said, it kills me.’
‘Why did you?’
‘I’ve been alone a long time,’ he said, holding her gaze steadily and making no attempt to dodge or deflect the question. ‘It’s a hard habit to break. I didn’t recognise what was happening to me.’ He inhaled deeply. ‘The thing is, amore mio, when I arrived in Milan to start work, I shut myself down and put it all behind me. It was the only way I could move forward. I closed off my emotions and kept myself apart. Nothing mattered. I took risks because I had nothing to lose. I’ve lived like that for years. And it was fine. And then I had the
accident and saw the photo of Finn and it wasn’t quite so fine, although I had no idea why. You asked me why I showed up at his house. Well, I genuinely had no idea. I’d acted purely on instinct. You showed me why, Carla,’ he said, leaning forwards and enveloping her with his heat and the scent she loved so much. ‘And because of you I don’t want to be alone any more. You were right all along. Something has been missing from my life and I know what it is now. I’ve been looking for a place to belong and someone to belong with ever since my parents died, and I’ve finally found it. With you. We are kindred spirits, Carla. You were right about that too. We belong together. I love you and I’m sorry beyond words that I hurt you. I asked you once before not to give up on me. And I know I don’t deserve it but I’m asking you again. Please don’t. I don’t think I could stand losing you again.’
He stopped and looked at her, everything in his heart there for her to see in his expression. His eyes were dark and intense and the love and absolute certainty she saw in their depths shattered the fragile barrier she’d hastily erected around her heart. And suddenly she was awash with all the emotions she hadn’t dared to dream.
This was what love was, she thought dizzily, revelling in the swelling of her heart and the overwhelming happiness that was now rushing through her. This. Trust and belonging and healing and the promise of forever.
‘You won’t,’ she said, her throat tight with emotion.