‘Yes. He was under a lot of stress.’
‘I meant for you.’
‘I have nothing to escape from,’ he said, ruthlessly blotting out the great neon sign in his head that was flashing the word ‘liar’ at him.
Her eyebrows lifted. ‘Not even work?’
‘Not even that.’
‘Hmm. So you knew what was going on with him?’
‘Some of it.’
‘Me, too.’ Her cornflower-blue eyes filled with momentary sadness, and his chest tightened. ‘I wish I’d known more, though. But he didn’t once complain, not even when he had to leave university to come and look after me and Milly, and then find the money to move my sister when it became apparent she wasn’t being looked after well.’
‘What happened?’
‘Nothing that awful. It was mainly little things. Cleanliness. The food. The size of the rooms. And then it became apparent that the staff—not exactly the warmest of people—were quick to medicate. Easier to manage the more unpredictable patients that way, I suppose. Fairview is about as different a place as it’s possible to imagine. There’s more space, outside as well as inside. The staff care. Milly moved just as soon as we could sort it. She’s happy there, and well cared for.’
‘She will have whatever she needs, Kate.’
‘Thank you.’ She paused. Then said with a sigh, ‘I never appreciated the stress Mike must have been under. He worked day and night. We shared the day-to-day stuff, but financially he bore full responsibility. When he lost his job I wish he’d said something. He didn’t have to carry the burden alone. I don’t know how I didn’t know, especially since he was living with me. I guess I didn’t ask. He said he’d resigned to set up his own business and that he’d given up his flat to put the money into it and I just accepted it. But none of that was true.’
Theo frowned. ‘No.’
‘I feel so guilty.’
‘If anyone is to feel guilty,’ he said, unable to let her think she was in any way to blame and suddenly burning up with the need to confess and in some small way to atone for what he’d let happen, ‘it’s me.’
‘Why?’
‘His death was partly my fault.’
She stared at him in shock. ‘What on earth are you talking about? He had an aneurysm. It was sitting there in his brain like a ticking time bomb. How could that possibly have been your fault?’
‘I could have done more to help. To remove the stress. I should have insisted.’
‘He had his pride. And he was stubborn.’
‘That’s no excuse.’ And it wasn’t because hadn’t he already discovered what happened if he turned his back on someone who needed his help whether they wanted it or not? Hadn’t his mother been enough? How many more people were to suffer before he learned? Whatever she chose to think he’d robbed Kate and her sister of their brother and he’d never forgive himself. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘There’s really nothing to be sorry for,’ she said. ‘Truly. Did you know about the loans?’
‘No.’
‘Neither did I.’
‘But I could have done,’ he said bleakly. ‘I should have done.’
‘How?’
‘A couple of weeks before he died, Mike mentioned he had something he wanted to discuss. I put him off.’ He stopped and frowned, remembering how he’d instinctively kept the man at arm’s length despite the huge debt he owed him. ‘I regret that.’
‘You came to the funeral.’
‘It was the least I could do.’
She tilted her head, her gaze practically searing into his. ‘Do you remember me suggesting a drink afterwards?’