I nod and wait for him to carry on.
"I don't need you to be exclusive to me."
My jaw drops, and my eyes blink rapidly. Did he just say what I thought he just said?
"Say that again, please." Otherwise, I may not believe him.
He sighs. "I mean that if you want to date Ryan too, then that's okay. And Mr Smith, if you want. Why was he in your room?"
"He's helping me with the kitten conjuring," I say absentmindedly. That's hardly the issue at hand here.
"Well, what I'm saying is, I'd like to date you too."
"Wow. Okay. Erm, I'm not sure what to say to that." I pause for a moment, trying to process what he's said in a way that makes sense to me.
Unsurprisingly, I'm coming up blank. This is the last thing I expect him to have said, and it reminds me a bit of Daphne's suggestion earlier in the week. But I'm not sure I'm ready to explore what that means for me yet, especially if it means he'll be seeing other women.
"I can tell what you're thinking," he observes. "And I don't want to date anyone else."
"But...isn't that a double standard?" The words are out before I can fully think about what they mean. I'm tempted to say yes to what he's proposing. And nowhere in my response is there a no.
"I suppose that depends on how we both view it. But I want you to think about it, Mona. I've never felt this way about anyone else. And when I see Ryan or Mr Smith look at you, it's the same way I feel."
I frown, not making any sense of that. "You're probably going to want to stop calling him Mr Smith at some point."
"Is that the only thing you can think of saying?" He chuckles.
"It's the only real thing I can process right now," I admit.
"Alright. Promise me you'll think about it?" he asks.
"Promise me you'll call him Thomas and not Mr Smith next time?" I throw back.
"I will." Caspian gets to his feet and leans in to kiss me on the cheek.
I close my eyes, savouring the contact between the two of us. I've missed him more than I want to admit, and I'm glad we've had a chance to talk, even if it's ended in more confusion for me.
"Thank you for telling me about what's wrong," I whisper.
"You're welcome. I don't want us to become my parents."
"You think we'll last that long?" I avoid questioning the fact that in his mind, we're together. I like the idea far too much to want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing.
"Longer," he responds.
"I hope you're right." But a part of me is scared that it's still early days, and a lot can still go wrong. Hopefully, it won't and we'll be able to have the relationship I want with him.
Chapter Eight
I scribble myself a note to look into something called the siren curse later. I'm not sure it's relevant to my project, but this is the third book that's mentioned it, and I'm starting to think it may be a real thing. Apparently, none of the old sailors who wrote these diaries and books thought to include what they meant when they talked about it. Which is stupid. Especially when I need to find out more for the project Thomas set me.
This is going to be harder than I think.
"Is this the one you're looking for?" the librarian asks, dropping a big book down beside me.
"I think so, thank you." I give her my best smile, trying not to let the fact I've not even seen the title of the book shine through. How am I supposed to know that it's the right one if I can't read it?
"You can't take this one out of the library," she warns me.