Oh ick. That's weird. Don't think about Daphne and Ryan in the same breath. Not when I think of one of them as a friend and the other as having the potential for a hell of a lot more.
"Yes." I don't elaborate on that. I'm not falling into Ryan's arms just because I'm on the outs with Caspian.
"So, if I ask you on a date..."
"I'll say no." I tap my notepad. "We should get back to work."
He starts to argue, but I hold up my hand.
"I'm not ready," I tell him. "Maybe in a couple of months, I'll consider dating you." Daphne will have a field day if I tell her about this. Not that I will. I don't think.
"A couple of..."
"You need to respect that, Ryan." I half-slam my hand on the desk.
"I'm sorry." He hangs his head, clearly meaning the word even if I don't want to make him feel bad about the situation.
Against my better judgement, I place my hand on top of his and give it a squeeze. "There's just so much going on at the moment, I don't think it's fair to either of us if we start something now." My words come out low, almost sultry, adding a moment of intimacy between us.
He sighs. "I know you're right, but part of me still hopes you'll change your mind."
"I'd be worried if you didn't." Though a little part of me doesn't get it. Why on earth would he be interested in someone like me? Why would anyone? I'm so far to becoming a crazy cat lady that I have four kittens in my room. And I'm only eighteen. Things have been weirder for me.
"Mona?"
I look up, horror travelling straight through me asl I meet Caspian's gaze.
"I-I can explain," I stutter.
He looks away. "No need. I get it."
"Caspian..." My heart feels like it's snapping in two. How much of our exchange did he hear? I don't want to break his heart even if I am still a little mad at him.
His pained expression says it all as he turns to walk away.
"Excuse me," I mutter to Ryan, scraping my chair back.
The need to talk to Caspian and explain fills me. It even overpowers the anger I have over the situation with his step-sister. I don't think I even realised how much I like him until this moment.
Right now, only one thing is certain. I have to make Caspian mine. Though technically, I do believe we're still dating.
I rush out of the library, hot on his heels. Reaching out, my hand brushes over the rough fabric of his jacket.
"Caspian, please talk to me..."