“I don’t give a damn what they want or anyone else. You’re the only person who matters to me.” His other hand touched her cheek. “Please tel
l me we can work things out. I love you.”
She heard the catch in his voice and the dam holding back her tears almost let go. “I love you too, but I’m not sure. I need some time to process all this.”
“Fair enough.”
“My plane leaves soon. I need to get back to the airport.”
“I’ll drive you.”
Kiera pulled his hands from her face. “No. You should talk to you dad. He looks on the verge of a heart attack.”
Gray looked over his shoulder. “My uncle can take care of him.”
“I can’t be around you right now. I’m sorry.” Kiera forced her feet to move backward. She watched Gray’s throat work and wondered if he was trying to keep from crying.
“Jake promised he’d drive you back,” Gray said.
“Thank you.”
After verbally assuring both the President and the CIA director that she wouldn’t say anything about what she’d learned, Kiera left the room and walked outside with Jake. When she’d agreed to see Gray, she’d prepared herself for some story about how he and Nadia were just friends. That he’d been spotted with her because she needed a friend that night. Nothing had prepared her for the truth.
“Are you in as much shock as I am?” Jake asked breaking the silence. Neither had said a word since leaving the White House. “My brain cannot accept that my cousin is a CIA NOC.”
There was that word again. “What’s a NOC, Jake? I get the impression it’s not what they call the guy who delivers the mail or answers the phones.”
“NOC is what they call an operative working with non-official cover. Many officers work with an official cover. They may work as an aide at the US embassy in a foreign country. If one of these officers is caught spying, they have diplomatic immunity and just get booted out of the country. No big deal. Since a NOC has no official cover, the United States government doesn’t recognize them. If they get caught, they can face criminal punishment in that country, which can include execution. It’s a dangerous job.”
Execution! She pictured Gray’s lifeless body on the ground somewhere, and gasped.
“That’s why he didn’t tell anyone,” Jake said.
The airport came into view, and Jake headed toward the parking garage.
“I can’t believe he did that kind of work” The image of Gray dead stayed firmly in her head and a chill went through her body.
“Me either. But Gray said he’s done and I believe him. He loves you and knows he can’t have a life with you and do that job. Operatives like that don’t have normal lives.”
The car stopped, and Kiera looked at the other cars parked around them. She’d much rather discuss the situation with Stephanie or Joanna, but since she couldn’t, she’d take what she could get. “I’m not sure what to think anymore.”
“I understand. I’d have reservations, too. But he loves you. He wouldn’t have done what he did tonight if he didn’t. And I’m confident you can trust him. He only kept the secret to keep himself safe. If he could have told you, he would have.”
“I need to check in and get my boarding pass. Thank you for the rides tonight.”
“I’ll walk you inside.”
***
Gray let himself into his cousin’s townhouse a few hours later. His head pounded thanks to the heated discussions that had ensued after Kiera and Jake left. Clarence and Randall did everything they could to change his mind about leaving fieldwork. Once the two men finally left, his uncle and father voiced their feelings about his past activities and they hadn’t done so quietly. With all that behind him, now his mind reverted to more important matters.
He’d told her everything, but she still left. She’d promised him an hour and that’s all she’d given him.
Once he’d told her the truth, he’d thought she’d change her mind and stick around. Maybe it was the shock. When he’d made his announcement, she’d gone pale. In her place, he’d have a similar reaction. That didn’t mean he had to like it.
He needed her back. He missed her so much it physically hurt. In fact, he now had a whole new appreciation of how hard it must have been for his dad when his mom died. Gray didn’t know how his dad had survived it.
Gray heard the television on somewhere in the house and went straight upstairs. Tomorrow, he’d fly back to Providence and get back to work. Tonight, he would crash in his cousin’s guest bedroom and keep his terrible mood to himself.