I enjoyed my life exactly how it was.
“Read it. We need to talk,” I said, nodding toward the document in her hand.
She let out a loud huffing noise and sat up, holding the bedsheet to her chest. Then her elbows squeezed close to her body, so both hands were free to hold the paper. “Ugh, what did I drink last night?” she asked, as one hand slid to her head.
“What didn’t we drink last night?” I said while a flash of us laughing and doing a multitude of shots at various bars ran through my brain.
When she finally focused on the paper in her hand, she brought it closer to her face. “This does not say what it says,” she whispered, her eyes squinting as her head got even closer to the certificate.
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I waited for it to sink in. A small part of me had wondered if she’d be excited that we were apparently married.
“This does not say what it says!” she yelled, tossing the paper into the air as though it were on fire. Then she jumped out of bed like it was attempting to swallow her up. She took the entire top sheet with her as she moved.
“It says exactly that. Look at your ring finger,” I said, gazing down again at mine. I had to admit, it looked fantastic. The curly lettering looked almost gothic but classy at the same time.
Lexi stuck out her left hand as she frowned. That frown dropped from her face, being replaced by complete and utter shock. “Oh, no, no, no,” she said before the thumb on her right hand rubbed at the new tattoo on her left ring finger like she was trying to erase the new markings.
“Ow, ow, ow,” she said, shaking her hand like crazy in the air.
I cringed thinking about how much it probably hurt right now.
“Oh my gosh, my dad is going to murder me,” she said, throwing her head back. She wrapped the sheet around her like a giant toga and began nervously pacing back and forth. Her head suddenly snapped to me, and she let out a loud sigh before her eyes shut tightly. “Like, as in actually murder me.”
She raised a hand in the air and looked up. “I mean taking his bike was bad enough. But now this?” Then she continued walking back and forth until I was even more dizzy than I’d been.
“Sweetheart, stop,” I said in as gentle a voice as possible. By the way she persisted in stomping around and muttering to herself, I was fairly certain she hadn’t heard me. Or if she had, she was ignoring me.
“Lexi, stop! You’re making me dizzy, for Christ’s sake,” I shouted, making her stop abruptly.
“What?” she asked, as though I were the one acting imbalanced.
“Settle down. We’ll figure this out,” I said, not really believing my own words. I had to say something to calm her hissy fit, though.
Although watching her freak out was possibly the most entertaining thing I’d seen in a long damn time.
Her hand went to her hip as she scowled at me. “How can you be so calm? We’ve ruined our lives! My dad was already going to kill me after the whole houseboat incident,” she said, using her fingers to make the quote sign, making me more than curious to learn what she was talking about, “and then I took his bike. And now I got married in Vegas?” She stared at me like she was waiting for me to realize the gigantic mistake we’d made.
Surprisingly, I felt a sharp jab of pain in my chest at her words.
I mean, no, I didn’t want to be married to her either. But hearing and watching how it affected her right now made me somehow feel—well, I didn’t know exactly, but it felt—weird.
“We’ll work it out. I promise. I’m sure we’re not the only ones waking up married in Vegas right now. Let’s order breakfast and then we’ll figure out what to do next,” I suggested. And surprisingly, now that my pain pills had kicked in, I was beginning to feel hungry.
Lexi flew over to the table beside the bed and picked up her phone. “Breakfast? It’s three in the afternoon! Oh my gosh, I’m dead meat!” She held up her phone for me to see the time on her display and I couldn’t help but let out a laugh.
“Gigi has called me twenty times! What am I supposed to tell her?” Lexi’s beautiful, blue eyes were glaring at me, waiting for an answer.
“Nothing. I’m going to shower. You,” I said, pointing my finger at her, “are ordering us food. Get me coffee and pancakes if they’ll still make them. Otherwise, a burger and a ton of fries.” I slipped out of bed and pulled on my briefs. “After that,” I spun around and headed toward the bathroom, “we’ll make a plan.”
When I was at the bathroom door, I turned back toward Lexi. “Deal?”
She sucked her lips into her mouth, then nodded.
Makeup melted down her face.
Hair an absolute rat’s nest.
Even still, she was by far the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my fucking life. “Good. Now call for food. I’m starving.”