He stumbled back against the door. A look of shock and disbelief came over his face. He shook his head. “That’s not possible. She lied. I can’t have kids. You said that yourself. She left because I couldn’t have them.”
“No, she left because she didn’t want kids. She’d been lying to you and had an IUD inserted to prevent herself from getting pregnant. When you pushed to have fertility testing done, she panicked. When the letter came to the house with your results, she changed it. She had letterhead paper from the clinic and she changed your results to say you were sterile. You aren’t. When you kept bringing up adoption, she knew it was over between you two. She was convinced you’d leave her if you knew what she did or if you couldn’t have kids somehow.”
He shakily walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. His head was in his hands. “This isn’t real. You’re wrong.”
I got up and went over to him. I handed him the diary and my birth certificate from my bag. “Read the entries I have flagged. You’ll see that I’m not lying. She named you as my father. I was born March tenth, nineteen eighty-seven,” I told him softly. He raised his head and took the diary and the birth certificate. He looked at it for several minutes before he opened her diary and read the entries. When he was done, he laid it on the bed and looked at me. I could see what looked like pain, anger, disbelief, and hope on his face.
“Tarin, you said, right?” I nodded. “Well, Tarin, what makes you think she didn’t lie in her diary or on your birth certificate? It’s obvious she was a lying, manipulative bitch. She could have done this, knowing one day you’d read it and maybe find me. I wouldn’t put it past her to want to hurt me, even after all these years. Or maybe you’re trying to con me into thinking this is hers. Are you looking for money?” He stood up when he said that. I scrambled away from him. He had a big frown on his face.
“I don’t need or want your money! I have plenty. I’m sorry. I made a mistake. It’s obvious you don’t want a long-lost daughter. I thought you’d like to know. I’m not here looking for anything from you. I don’t want to force myself into your life. You said you have a woman and a kid. I didn't know that. I won’t bother you again. I’ll go.” I ducked around him and grabbed the diary and my birth certificate, shoving them into my bag. He caught my arm. His grip was gentle.
“Tarin, wait a minute. Let me think. It’s not that I don’t want to know if I have a daughter. I most certainly do if you're really mine. You say you don’t want anything from me. What if it’s true and I’m your dad? If it is, I want something from you. An opportunity to get to know you.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I’d like that. I thought of the possibility she lied. Who knows if she was even being faithful to you? I don’t expect you to take this on her word or mine. I want us to take a DNA test to make sure if you’re willing to do it.”
He looked even more stunned. “Tell me about yourself. Where do you live? What kind of work do you do? Are you married, involved, or have kids?” He tugged on my arm and brought me to sit with him on the bed.
“I’m twenty-five and I live in Atlanta, Georgia. That’s where she went after she left you. I grew up there. I’ve done a lot of things for work, but currently I work in a salon. I’m not married or involved and I don’t have any kids. I really just wanted to meet you and tell you about me, Bear. I grew up thinking another man was my father. It was a shock to find this birth certificate and her diary.”
“Does your other dad know about this?”
“He died a few years ago. He and Mom divorced when I was ten. I didn't see him after that,” I told him flatly. The less said about him, the better.
“I’m sorry, Tarin. He didn’t stay in your life after the divorce? Did he find out later that you weren’t his?”
“No, he didn’t stay in contact, and I don’t believe he knew. That was fine.”
“God, this is crazy. I might have a grown daughter. Believe me, if I’d known or even thought there was a chance, I’d have found you.”
“I know you have a family. If we turn out to be related and you want to get to know me, I'd love to meet them. Do I have brothers or sisters?”
“I just met my woman. Her name is Ilara. She has a daughter who’s not quite two, Hope. She’s the one not feeling good at home. They’ve been a miracle to me. Now, there might be another miracle. I might have two daughters.” His eyes were a little wet.
Suddenly, I was pulled into his hard chest and he hugged me. I started to cry. Oh my God, he wanted me! Please, don’t let this be another one of Mom’s lies! As I sobbed, he rubbed the back of my head with one of his hands and murmured soothing words.
It took a while to get myself back under control. When I was done, he was a little wet and wrinkled, but he had a smile on his face. I straightened up and wiped my tears. “I know this is a lot to process. You need time to think and I need time as well. Why don’t you think about it and then contact me if you want to see me again? We can talk more then. Right now, you need to get home,” I told him as I stood up.
“Okay, I think that’s a good idea. Don’t leave town. I won’t take long to process, I promise.” He got up and went to the door ahead of me. As he opened it and we went into the hallway, he turned to me.
I couldn’t help but smile as he smiled down at me. I chuckled as I realized I had to look like a mess after that crying jag. “Do you think I look presentable?”
He touched my face gently. A warm smile was on his face. “You look beautiful. Let's get you out of here. I need to get home to my old lady.”
“What are you going to tell her about me?”
“I’m not going to mention you, darlin’. I need to decide how to tell her about you.”
I tried not to feel hurt. He was right. This wasn’t something he could spring on her. It might be better if he waited until we had the DNA results. “Come on, let me get you out of here. We can meet tomorrow and discuss this some more.”
“Okay, that sounds good. I don’t want you to have to answer any awkward questions. When I saw you were having a party tonight, I thought it would be easier to slip in and see you. I’m at the hotel off South Street in town. You can come there. I’m in room one-eleven. Here’s my phone number.” I handed him a business card I had from the salon with my cell number on it.
He led me up the hall toward the noise. We were almost at the end of it when he came to a dead stop. I almost ran into the back of him. I heard him say, “Ilara, what’re you doing…” Ilara? That was his woman’s name. I looked around him, curious to see what she looked like. I looked into her furious face.
“What am I doing here? I was coming to tell you that Hope is sicker, and she needs to see a doctor. I tried to call, but your phone is off. I see why now. You were busy entertaining your little friend. Don’t let me stop you. I don’t need your help. Fuck you, Bear,” she screamed and the little girl in her arms burst out crying. Ilara swung around and raced away from us. Oh shit, she thought I was someone he was messing around with! Bear was yelling at her to stop, but she kept going. She was close to the door that went outside when another biker stopped her.
Even in the middle of all this drama, I couldn’t help but notice he was super good looking and sexy. He caught a hold of her arm and said something to her. I could see the concern on his face. Ilara said something back to him. I saw his face register his shock. She pointed at me and Bear and the biker looked at us. Bear was still rushing toward them. I held onto the back of his leather vest, so I wouldn’t get lost in this crowd.
The other biker gave both of us a dirty look and said something else to Ilara. His arm went around her shoulders and he was now moving her toward the door. I felt a second of resentment that he was holding on to her, which was ludicrous. Bear shouted, “Ilara, come back here. Outlaw, get your fucking hands off my woman.” Hmm, Outlaw was his name. I could see him as one.