Tarin: Chapter 7
I tried to pay attention and answer Zara’s questions as she examined me, but I was distracted. Not by what had happened with Hamilton, but more by Outlaw’s behavior. Why had he hugged me when Bear let go of me? Hell, it looked like Bear handed me to him. Then when we sat down, he pulled me to sit on his lap. He cuddled me for God’s sake. He acted like he cared. His offer to use his room had caught me off guard too. I hated not knowing where I stood with people. Everyone had looked relieved to see I was okay, but none of them acted like Outlaw.
He confused me like he always did. He’d been trying to talk to me for days and I’d been a bitch. I threatened to sic the cops on him. I wouldn’t have called them, but he didn’t know that. I wouldn’t answer the door or the phone. I did it because of the way he made me feel. He confused me and made me ache for something I didn’t see as possible.
Guys in my experience liked to use you until they didn’t. None stayed long. They wanted simple and uncomplicated. They didn’t want drama or to connect. Let’s have sex and then go our own ways. I wanted more. Simple sex wasn’t something I was looking for. Maybe that’s why I was twenty-five and still single. Maybe I should just throw thoughts of everlasting love out the window and go for sex. Though, sex wasn’t always what it was cracked up to be. Having enough trust to let someone touch me and have sex with me was hard.
When I looked at Outlaw, I wanted it to be more than a fling or short affair. I wanted much more, and that wasn’t something I saw him wanting. And who was to say he even wanted to have sex with me. He had his pick of women. He didn’t need to settle for me. I was okay looking, but I’d seen some of the women around town. They put me to shame. They had big breasts and less ass and thighs than me. I was thick in those areas. More than one guy had told me I’d be sexier if I lost weight. I was only a size twelve, and they acted like I was the size of a house! There were plenty of beautiful women in the world who were bigger women, many of them much bigger than me. Why were men so damn shallow? So what if my stomach wasn’t rock hard with a six-pack and my thighs and ass had some jiggle to them? My skin was nice, and I had perky breasts. I walked all the time and was toned, just not cut. I didn’t want to look like a man with some tits.
Probably the things I liked best about myself were my eyes and my thick hair. My teeth were straight, so that was a plus. Zara interrupted my musings. “I see some bruises and scrapes, Tarin. In order to treat you to the best of my abilities, I need to know everything he did to you. Anything you tell me stays between us.”
“Zara, I know and I’ve told you everything. He didn’t rape me. He groped my breasts and between my legs, but that was it. He was going to do that after he got back. I swear.” She was staring at me like she could see into my head and determine if I was lying.
Finally, she nodded. “Okay, if there’s nothing else, I think some Tylenol for the aches and pains is all you’ll need. If you think you need to talk about anything, I’m here and I know any of the other ladies will gladly listen too. Now, I think a hot shower and clean clothes are in order, then something to eat. When Bear and Outlaw get back, they’re going to ask if you ate.” She gave me a teasing smile when she said Outlaw’s name.
I didn’t touch that remark. She smiled wider. “Don’t act all innocent. I saw how Outlaw was with you out there. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on you then he wouldn’t let go. What’s going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing is going on. I have no idea what that was. We usually argue and fight with each other. He doesn’t want me around here. I think he thinks I’m here to mess up Bear’s life. I’m not. I wanted to meet my real dad and let him know what my mom did. If he wants to leave it at that, then I’ll respect it. It’s not like I’m not used to being without a dad.”
She frowned when I let the last bit slip. Shit, I had to stop doing that. The problem was, I relaxed around them because they never knew Merrill. “It’s not any of my business, Tarin, but it kills me that after your parents, or who you thought were your parents, divorced, he had nothing to do with you. That had to have been hard.”
I debated on leaving her to think that or to say something. Maybe it was the ordeal of the day, but I decided to hell with it. He was dead, what could it hurt? “It was a blessing that he didn’t, Zara. I never shed a tear over that man being out of my life. That’s all I’m going to say, but don’t feel bad for me. I do wish I’d had Bear as a dad growing up. I think he would have been awesome. From watching him with Hope, I admit I’m a little jealous.”
I could tell what I said bothered her, but she left it alone. “Yeah, he’s great, isn’t he? This new baby and Hope are lucky. I know he’s desperately wanting to be a part of your life too. He missed so much. I really hope you decide to stay around or at least stay in his life. Though knowing Bear, he wants you right here, inside the compound if he can get it.”
“Whoa, I’m not moving in with him, Ilara, the baby, and Hope. They need their space.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of you moving in with a hot computer-savvy biker who looks at you like he could eat you up.” She laughed.
“Enough! Outlaw isn’t looking at me like that.”
“Well, if he’s not, there are more guys who will. You’re gorgeous, Tarin.”
“Thank you, Zara, but I know what I look like. I’m too heavy and I’m okay looking at best.”
Her mouth fell open as she looked at me in shock. “You’re kidding right? You’re sexy and have curves for days, plus you’re beautiful. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar or blind. We can take a poll of the guys if you like. We’ll ask them if they’d go for you or not.”
“Oh my God, you’re crazy! We won’t be taking a damn poll! I need to get out of here before you get me into trouble.” I fought not to laugh.
She grinned. “Okay, I’ll stop. Why don’t you use the shower in here? I’ll go grab you something to wear. We’re almost the same height. I have dresses, so your lovely curves will be shown off in one of those. I’ll be right back.” She headed for the door, and I stopped her.
“Thank you for everything, Zara, including the clothes. I do want to get the stench of that man off me.”
“You’re welcome. Hang tight. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When it was all said and done, I spent twenty minutes in the hot shower. She not only brought me a dress and clean panties, she brought me body gel, shampoo and conditioner, plus some face wash. I was in heaven. When I was finished showering, I found she’d brought a brush, hair dryer, toothbrush, and toothpaste too. I felt like a new woman when I was done. I went out to join the ladies in the common room. I was anxious to see if the guys had made it back yet and whether they had caught Hamilton. The idea of him being on the loose made my skin crawl.
All the ladies and the guys who’d been left behind were in the common room with the babies. I sat down and within two minutes, I had a plate of food in front of me. Jocelyn had brought it from the kitchen. I found I was hungry, and I inhaled it. When I was full, I looked around at them. “Which baby do I get to hold first? I’m dying here.” They laughed, and I got Moira plopped on my lap first. As we waited, we chatted about their work and I rotated babies.
Sometime later, when the door came swinging open, I eagerly looked up. In came the guys, minus Bear. I was instantly alarmed. I jumped up and practically ran over to them. “Where’s Bear? Is he hurt? Did you find Hamilton?”
Outlaw was the one to answer me. He came up and touched my cheek, the one with the bruise on it. His touch was so gentle it startled me. “Bear is fine, baby. He stopped by the hospital to check on Ilara and Hope. He’ll be here soon. And yes, we found Hamilton. He’s been detained for questioning. That’s all you need to worry about. Did Zara check you out? Are you okay? Did you eat?” He fired off his questions.
I was still stuck back on his touch and him calling me baby. I mean, I know it was just a word that lots of guys called any woman, however, I loved the sound of it coming from him. I struggled to get my brain to understand what he’d asked and to answer him. The others were all standing there watching us with amused looks on their faces.
“Zara said I was fine. I have some bumps, scrapes, and bruises, that’s it. Nothing that Tylenol and time won’t heal. I hope you don’t mind, but I used your shower. And yes, I ate.”
“You can have or use anything of mine you want, Tarin. You look beautiful in that dress, by the way,” he said softly. I doubted the others could hear him. His eyes ran up and down my body. I fought not to shiver. His look and the tone of his voice made my nipples harden and my panties get a little damp. He had this low, sexy, almost growly voice. What in the hell had come over him? I was about to ask if he was feeling okay when he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. The air left my body in a whoosh. “Later, we need to talk in private, but first, I need to grab a bite and then we’ll be busy for a while talking to Hamilton.”