I didn’t know what was the matter with me. I’d never in my whole forty-eight years reacted to a woman like this. It was an instant knowledge that she should be mine. When I asked her about going home to her husband, I held my breath. She didn’t acknowledge she had one, and I checked her hands for a wedding ring. Of course, some women didn’t wear one, but I would have thought if she was married, she’d have mentioned him when I asked.
Her response to Madisen’s request to give her a phone number bothered me. She shouldn’t be out alone without a way to call for help. Hunters Creek was relatively safe, but shit could happen, and she was alone with a toddler. As she made arrangements to come see Madisen tomorrow, I made my own plans.
A sigh had me turning back into my brothers and their wives. Madisen had a frown on her face as she watched the way Ilara had gone. She’d turned down the alley up the street from the shop. Her eyes were narrowed. “What’s that sigh for, Mad?” I asked her.
“There’s something fishy going on with her. She doesn’t have a phone. She wouldn’t say the other day where she’s staying. She rushes off every time I talk to her. She seems to need a job desperately. As far as I know, she doesn’t have anyone but her baby. Those women got ugly with her the other day. She handled them, but I could tell what they said upset her. She told me she’s been all over, looking for work. I get the feeling she’s not telling me something.”
“Babe, she doesn’t know you. Of course she’s not going to tell you everything. I think it’s nice you want to help her find a job, just don’t get carried away. You don’t know this woman. She might not be who she appears to be. What kind of work did she say she’s looking for anyway?” Rebel cautioned her.
“She said she’s done HR, receptionist, bookkeeping and a little other stuff along those lines. I thought I might have found her a spot at the salon in town, but I don’t know yet. Are there any openings at the club’s businesses?” she asked with a hopeful look on her face.
“Hold on, don’t even think about it. We don’t know her, and I’d have to see,” he warned her.
“Come on, Rebel, you guys do background checks on people you know before you hire them. Why would this be different? If you need someone and she can do the job, why not?”
“I said, I’d check. You’re right we would do a background check. If she’s hiding something like you suspect, we might not want to get involved with her,” he warned her.
“I don’t think it’s bad like she’s a criminal or anything. I think she’s desperate and maybe she’s running from someone. She told us she’s been looking for a place to settle down. Why would she have to do that? Don’t most people look and find a job then move? She made it sound like she’s been on the road looking and it’s been for a while. She has a baby, Rebel. She’s alone and I can’t imagine how hard that must be. I want to help her if I can.”
Hearing her talk about Ilara made me start to worry. Was she out on the road alone with her baby? Was she running from someone? Maybe she was running from an abusive husband or boyfriend. If she didn’t find a job here, where would she end up and in what kind of job?
I interrupted them. “When she comes back tomorrow, you give us a call. I wanna be here.”
Madisen gave me a questioning look. “Why? Are you worried she’s dangerous or something?”
“No, I just want to be here. Maybe we can find her something. Let me see what I can find.”
She gave a squeal and hugged me. “Thank you, Bear, thank you. I’ll take all the help I can get. Let’s get back home. I need to make dinner and make some calls.”
I followed them over to where our bikes were parked. Jessica got on behind Ajax while Madisen got on behind Rebel. As we took off, I tried to imagine what it would be like to have a woman on the back of my bike. When I tried to picture it, an image of Ilara came floating to the surface. Damn, there was something about her that had me on edge and feeling confused. Something I hadn’t felt in years, hell, maybe ever.
Back at the compound, I sat in the common room, listening with only a half of an ear to what was going on around me. I couldn’t get Ilara and Hope off my mind. A part of me was trying not to get excited at the thought that this could be what I was looking for—someone I could settle down with and spend the rest of my life. I knew it was crazy to even think about it. I didn’t know her. She didn’t know me. I was way older than her. What the hell was I thinking? We’d barely said five sentences to each other. Shit, she probably had a man and just didn’t say anything. I couldn’t imagine her being without one.
The table jarring made me look up. There stood Bull. He dropped in the chair beside me and leaned back. “Talk to me, Bear. I can see the wheels turning in that brain of yours from across the room. Something has you preoccupied. I thought you were doing better since you came back from South Carolina.”
He was right. I had been slightly better since I came back. I’d taken those two weeks and rode around, thinking about my life. I’d come to what I felt was acceptance that I would be alone. I would just fill the emptiness with my club and their families. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was the hand I’d been dealt. I’d come home resolved to get on with making the most out of what I had, not wasting time wishing for something that wasn’t likely to ever happen. That is until I saw Ilara today.
“Shit, Bull, I was doing better. Or at least I thought I was. I decided I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and to be happy with my friends and family here. I was determined to do that and not dwell on what could have been.” He didn’t say anything. He just nodded at me encouragingly when I paused.
“Then I literally ran into a woman and her daughter on the street today, and it got me thinking all over again.”
“What woman? Why did they get you to think about it again? I told you before you left, it’s not too late for you to find someone, Bear. Look at me and Jocelyn. She should have never even looked at me twice. I’m seventeen years older than her. Why would she give me the time of day? But she doesn’t care, and she loves me like I love her.”
“I know, but you’re not typical. As for why Ilara, I have no idea. Don’t get me wrong, she’s gorgeous. Any guy would thank his lucky stars to have a woman like that, but it’s more than her looks. There’s something about her that’s pulling me toward her. I wanted to protect her and her daughter. I’m worried about their safety and where they’re staying. She’s not going to stay here long if she can’t find a job. I’m racking my brain trying to find a job for her. I didn’t want to let them walk off tonight. I wanted to ask her point-blank if she had a man or not.”
A huge smile spread across Bull’s face. He gave a short chuckle. I was about to punch his ass when he spoke. “Well, I’ll be damned, it sounds like you just might have been bitten, Bear. What you just described sounds a lot like what happened to me when I saw Jocelyn. I felt all those things and possessiveness as well. I wanted to know everything about her. If there had been a man in her life, I planned to chase him off. It scared me, since it was so intense, immediate, and more than I’d ever felt with Kelly.”
“Yeah, I remember how you acted that first time we met Jocelyn. I didn’t know you felt all that. She really hit you harder than Kelly did?” I was amazed to hear him say that. I knew he loved Jocelyn to distraction, but he’d been in love with his first wife Kelly too. As I thought about it, I realized he was even more attentive toward Jocelyn.
“Let me ask you this. I know Carol did a number on you and you were in love with her. Did she ever strike you as hard as this woman did? Whether it was when you met her, or later on when you were together?”
I thought for a few moments about what he was asking. I thought back through the four years we’d been together. I came to a realization as I did. I looked up at him in shock. “No, she never even came close to making me feel this kind of gut-deep awareness. It’s like I know deep down inside that this woman is supposed to be someone important in my life.”
“Okay, that’s good. You said she has a daughter. What’s she like?”
“She’s a tiny little angel. She’s about a year and a half old, I think. Looks just like her momma. Has the cutest dimples you’ve ever seen.”
“Hmm, so she’s a baby. How old is her mother?”