“Tarin said when she found the diary and her birth certificate, she hired a private investigator. She has money from her dad, or the man she thought was her dad. Apparently, this PI is the one who found me and gave her my address. She came here to talk to me. She thought I should know. She told me she has no expectations. She just wanted to meet me. As for whether she is my daughter or not, she came here to the hospital on Sunday and we had our DNA taken. They’re going to run a DNA test to show if she is or not. She insisted on it since she didn’t trust her mom not to have lied. Zara told me it will take a week if they rush it.”
All of them were slumped in their chairs and were shaking their heads and muttering. Finally, Bull looked at me. “I don’t know what to say. That’s beyond fucked up. I’m sorry, Bear. I know how much you’ve always wanted a family. Now, you get one with Ilara and Hope and then this happens. Man, tell us what we can do to help.”
“I don’t know. Just help me convince Ilara not to leave. I need time to convince her of the truth. She won’t even talk to me, so I can explain. She’s shut me out, and it’s killing me. I need you to keep searching for Hamilton. We can’t forget about him. He’s still a threat to them. I’m not going to let him touch my family.” I growled, as I thought of that bastard still being out there.
They were nodding their heads when there was a knock on the door and it opened. Zara was standing there. She looked pale and her eyes found mine. I jumped to my feet and went to her. “What’s wrong?”
“Bear, I need you to come with me. Ilara needs you. We need to talk about Hope,” she told me softly. I couldn’t breathe. I could tell by her face it was serious. She held out her hand. I took it without thinking and let her lead me to Hope’s room. The conference room was on the same floor. She stopped outside the room. I realized all my brothers had followed us.
“She’s going to be upset. She told me not to involve you, but she’s going to need you. She might yell and get physical. I need you to stay strong. Okay?”
“I will. Tell me what’s wrong with Hope,” I begged her.
She swallowed then she tore my world apart. “She has leukemia, Bear. That’s what’s causing her fever and abnormal white blood cell counts. I have been praying that wasn’t it, but I suspected. I didn’t want to worry you both unnecessarily because it could have been something else.”
My knees went weak and someone grabbed me from behind to hold me up off the damn ground. “W-what does that mean for her? Does she get chemo or something else? What’s her prognosis?” I whispered. I was afraid of the answers.
“We’re about to talk about that. Come on, let’s go in. Are you ready?” I took a couple of deep breaths then straightened up. I nodded. I followed her into Hope’s room. Ilara was sitting at her bedside. She looked terrible. Her eyes were bleak, and she had dark circles under her eyes. When she saw me, she started to shake her head. I knew I had a fight on my hands, but I wasn’t going to leave. I would be here for my daughter and my woman.
Ilara:
I was an utter wreck. I couldn’t seem to get enough energy to do much of anything. I just wanted to lie down beside my daughter and hold her as we both slept. However, that wasn’t an option. Hope needed me. Her fever was a little lower, but still there. She was exhausted and wouldn’t eat or barely drink. Zara was treating her and was giving her IV fluids.
As she got weaker, I felt worse. I was depressed and it was weighing me down. It was worse than I’d ever had it before. I was so tired I didn’t even want to change my clothes or eat. I was waiting for Zara to come back. She said she had some results and we needed to talk. I didn’t know where she went, but I was impatient to find out. Earlier, she’d tried to get me to let Bear see Hope. I told her no. I couldn’t deal with him on top of this.
The door swung open. I looked up ready to hear the news. That’s when I saw Bear coming into the room behind Zara. I got out of my chair. “I don’t want him here! Get out, now, or I’ll call security. Zara, I thought you were my friend. How could you?” I cried out.
She came over and took my hands in hers. “I am your friend, Ilara. I know you said you didn’t want him in here, but, honey, he needs to be here for you, Hope, and himself. You both will need to lean on each other.” I wilted as I saw her face. It was serious.
“Tell me.”
“Honey, please, let’s have a seat. I’ll tell you.”
“Just tell me, Zara. What’s wrong with my daughter? Why isn’t she getting better?”
She sighed. Bear moved closer. He wasn’t saying anything, but he was watching me. “Ilara, Hope has acute lymphoblastic leukemia. That’s why she has the fever, the fatigue, and her white count is so off.”
My knees gave out. Before I could hit the floor on my knees, Bear was there. He picked me up and set me down in the chair I’d been in when he came in. He kneeled beside my chair. Tears began to pour down my face. My baby had leukemia. She had cancer. She was going to die. A wail of pure grief tore out of my throat. Hope stirred in the bed. I choked it back. I didn’t want to upset her.
Bear took me in his arms. I didn’t have the energy to fight him. He squeezed me tightly against his chest. He was murmuring in my ear and kissing my hair. “Shh, baby, it’ll be okay. We’re going to get her the best treatment. She’s strong. She’ll beat this.”
I shook my head. “No, she isn’t. She’s so little, Bear. How can her body fight this? Zara, what will she need? What’s her prognosis?” I choked out around a sob. She sat down on the other chair beside us. Bear was still holding me and rubbing my back.
“She’ll have to have chemo or maybe what we call targeted therapy with other drugs that are less harsh on the body. Eventually, they could decide to do a stem cell implant. There’s a lot they can do. It depends on what stage she’s at and how she responds. I asked a friend of mine, Dr. Beatty, to come talk to you. He’s an oncologist and will be treating Hope. He’ll go into more on what that will entail. Right now, I need to make sure you’re going to be okay. When you’re ready, I’ll go get him,” Zara told me softly.
“I don’t matter. She does. Go get him. I need to know what we have to do. What’s the cost? I’ll find a way to pay for it, just have them start now! I’ll take her wherever they’ll treat her,” I cried. My mind was whirling, and I was trying to think how I could pay for her treatment. A lot of places had funds for the kids who didn’t have money. Maybe I’d have to take her to one of those.
A growl ripped out of Bear. He pulled away from me and looked down at me. He looked pissed. “What the fuck do you mean, you’ll find a way to pay for it? She’s covered, Ilara. They’ll do it here.”
“You don’t know that. There are places for children with parents who can’t pay. I’ll probably have to take her to another state. She’s not covered. I’m not on welfare. I don’t have insurance anymore,” I snapped back. I felt like a failure as I said that. I hadn’t taken care of my baby girl. She was sick, probably dying, and I might not be able to get her the treatment she needed. I broke down and sobbed.
I don’t know how long I sat there crying. Bear went back to holding me and trying to soothe me. I knew I shouldn’t let him, but his arms felt so comforting around me. I would pretend for a few minutes that everything was back to the way it was. We were together and we’d take care of Hope as a family. I needed that fantasy to get myself pulled back together.
Eventually, the storm of tears passed, and I sat up and wiped my face. Zara was still with us. “Go get him, please. I’m ready.” She nodded and left. I looked at Bear. His face looked drawn, and he looked tired. I kept myself from smoothing the lines etched in his face. They were never this deep.
“Thank you, Bear. I’m alright now. You can go. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t come back again. I need to take care of my daughter. I don’t need or want you here,” I lied. I did want him, but I couldn’t stand to look at him and remember what had happened the other night. Just thinking about seeing him with that woman made me sick to my stomach.
“I’m not fucking going anywhere, Ilara. I’m going to be here every single step of the way. Hope is my daughter. You’re not cutting me out of your lives. Not over a damn misunderstanding. As soon as we’re done talking to the doctor, you and I are going to have a talk,” he uttered as a warning.