I was really upset that since I’d come home, he hadn’t kissed me, held me, or made any kind of overture that he wanted me. He was gone every night to the clubhouse. I knew who hung out there—all those damn bunnies. I couldn’t hold it against him that he’d been with them when I was gone. He’d been sure I wasn’t coming back. But goddamn it, he was the one who said we were a couple and even had mentioned marriage in the hospital. He hasn’t mentioned it since. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Thinking of this and then his attitude about me being here made me snap.
I turned around and grabbed one of the pans off the counter and threw it at his feet. “Fuck it. I’m done. Tell Tate to take me home.” He reached for my arm, but I eluded him. I stomped out to the front. Thankfully, there were no customers. However, Tate, Trudie, Cleo, and Tina all stood there with their mouths hanging open. I headed straight to Tate.
“Take me home.” He looked over my shoulder. I knew he was looking to Ajax for his permission. It made me angrier.
“Don’t look at him. Look at me. Either take me home or I’ll walk.” He slowly nodded and went to the door. I followed him without looking at anyone. At the truck, he opened my door. I could see Ajax had gone to his bike. Good. I needed to be alone. I had some decisions to make.
The drive back was tense. Neither of us said a word. As we pulled into the compound, Ajax roared by on his bike. I guess he made sure I made it home and now he was off to do God knows where with God knows who. Tears filled my eyes. As soon as Tate parked in front of the house, I jumped out and ran to the door. On the compound, no one really ever locked their doors. I ran inside and locked it behind me. I wanted to be alone.
Rushing to the bedroom, I sank down on the bed and buried my face in the comforter. How had my life gotten so shitty? I’d thought I was going to get the man of my dreams and have a family, only it was turning out just as I feared even though he’d sworn it wasn’t going to be like this. He was with me because of the baby. He didn’t really love or want me. He felt obligated because I was pregnant.
As the tears flowed, I got madder and madder. Suddenly I couldn’t take it. It was like something took over. I stood up and screamed, then I ripped the comforter off the bed and threw it on the floor. Going to the closet, I tore the doors open and yanked clothes off the hangers. I spotted a gym bag. I grabbed it and stuffed the clothes in it. After it was mostly full, I went to the dresser and got my underclothes. When it was full, I took out my phone.
I’d been avoiding calling him, but it was time. I would be twenty-three in three weeks. Surely, Mr. Hudson could front me some money early. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t stay and be unloved and unwanted again. I’d had enough of that to last me two lifetimes.
He answered on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hello, Mr. Hudson. It’s Jessica Abrams. How are you?” I fought to keep my voice calm.
“Jessica! My dear, I’m happy to hear from you. It’s been a long time. I’ve been hoping you’d call me soon. What can I do for you? Are you in town?” He was in a fancy office in Nashville.
“I’m fine. I need some help. Would you be able to meet me today? I can come to you if you like.”
“Of course, I can meet with you. How about I come to you? Are you still in that small town east of Nashville? What is it called?”
“It’s called Hunters Creek. Yes, I am, but I can meet you. How about we meet in Lebanon? It’s not far from either of us.” I was desperate to meet him and get the hell out of this mess I’d created for myself.
“Okay, would an hour and a half be okay? My lunch appointment has just canceled.”
“Perfect, I’ll meet you at the Rose Cottage Café. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Jessica, but are you sure you’re alright?”
“I will be. With your help, I will be. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye.” I had to get off the phone before I started to cry again. As soon as I hung up, I looked out the front window. Tate was nowhere in sight, but he’d left Ajax’s truck parked in the driveway. I hoped he’d left the keys in it. I wasn’t about to ask him to take me anywhere.
Grabbing my purse off the couch where I flung it when I came in earlier, I hurried out to the truck. I kept my eyes peeled for anyone seeing me. It was the middle of the day and most of the guys would be at work.
After I got inside the truck, I thanked my lucky stars. The keys were in it and the windows were so dark in his truck, that you couldn’t see who was inside. I had my fingers crossed it would work in my favor. I planned to head for the gate like I was Tate or Ajax. It opened automatically from the inside even if one of the prospects was manning it.
Praying the whole way to the gate, I tensed as I saw Alex at the gate. He smiled and threw up his hand. I kept the window up but honked at him. I’d seen Ajax do that a few times. As soon as the way was clear, I drove out the gate. I didn’t breathe in relief until I was several miles away from the compound and on my way to Lebanon. With any luck, I’d be headed to Nashville and a new place within the next couple of hours. It was time to end this farce. It hurt too damn much. No way was I going to stay with a man who didn’t want me and was cheating on me with others. I mean, I know I’m pregnant, but I didn’t think I was that grotesque.
As the miles raced by outside my window. I thought about where I would go. I couldn’t go back to Colorado. Everyone would look there first. And I’d need to get rid of his truck. I’d leave it in Lebanon and have Mr. Hudson call him to tell him where it was. With a bit of luck, I’d be able to avoid seeing him again. I don’t think I could take it. The last several months on top of the last few weeks had been enough. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My chest was hurting, and my head was fuzzy.
The closer I got to Lebanon, the more I got lightheaded, and I was starting to feel nauseous. My insides felt like they were quivering, and my arms and legs felt heavy. I couldn’t seem to think clearly. I tried to look around for a place to pull over. Something was wrong. As I started to ease my foot off the gas, darkness descended rapidly like a curtain. I fought to pull to the side of the road before I lost consciousness. The last thing I remembered before everything went dark was a hard jolt, the crunch of metal against metal, and a voice saying it was the onboard safety and security assistance asking if I needed assistance. I tried to speak but all that came out were garbled words.
Ajax:
As I rode my bike, I worked to calm down. I had to calm my ass down before I went home to talk to Jessica. She had shit all twisted up. I couldn’t believe it when she basically accused me of cheating on her and that she was going to find herself some companionship. Jesus Christ, I had wanted to shake her. I hadn’t been with anyone since she left four months ago.
Yes, I was gone every night until late, but it was so I wouldn’t give in to my desire for her. I knew she was still feeling us out. I wanted to give her time. I wanted her to be the one to signal to me she was ready to be intimate again. She hadn’t, so I went to the clubhouse until I knew she was in bed and asleep.
Even then, going home and sliding into bed next to her without touching her was torture. I knew it couldn’t continue. We needed to talk about her defiance in going into the bakery despite the danger she was in. I rode for well over an hour before I turned around and headed back to the compound. It was time to lay everything on the table. She had to know I wanted only her, and I was waiting for her to tell me that she was ready to have what we had before all this went to hell.
I was maybe a half an hour from the clubhouse when my phone rang over my Bluetooth. I answered it. Maybe it was Jessica. Yeah, not likely. “Yeah, Ajax.”
“Ajax, where are you at?” It was Outlaw. He sounded tense. I stiffened and sped up.
“I’m headed back from Cookeville. I’m about thirty minutes away. Why? What’s wrong?”