CHAPTER FOUR
Dennis
“You need to go all in,” Thaddeus says as he lifts a hand to signal for the waitress, who smiles and heads our direction. She doesn’t bother asking before she pours coffee. It’s that kind of diner. Coffee cups are on every table and the waitresses always have a pot in their hands. This waitress is unexpected, though. She’s young and cute, while most of the others are more like a stereotypical working mom in her thirties. I imagine this girl is nineteen, maybe twenty.
“Thanks, Sara,” Thad says.
“My pleasure, Candy’s Daddy,” the girl replies with a smile.
When she leaves, I shake my head. “Is everyone in this town part of the lifestyle, for Christ’s sake?”
Thad chuckles and says, “Not at all. We just tend to use places with people who are involved. It wasn’t that way for you back in the city? Besides, I think Sara is interested in the lifestyle but not part of it yet.”
He has a point. I suppose it’s like that everywhere. We tend to hang out with people in the lifestyle and patronize businesses with people in the lifestyle as well. It’s a protection mechanism. There are even some bars and restaurants where everyone is just open about it. Reluctantly, I say, “OK, that makes sense.”
Sara returns to the table and says, “Can I take your order?”
“Go ahead, Thad,” I say.
“I already know Candy’s Daddy’s order,” Sara says. “I’m asking for yours.” She’s bright and smiley, and it makes me think of Annamarie, which is exactly what I don’t want to think about right now.
“I guess I’ll have what he always gets.”
“Coming right up,” she says brightly and turns around. She wiggles her rear end as she walks away and Thad chuckles. “She knew you would eventually end up here, and like I said, she wants to be part of the lifestyle.”
“She’s a cutie,” I say dismissively. “Someone will end up snatching her up pretty soon, I guess.”
“Anyway,” Thad says. “You need to go all in.”
I sigh. “I don’t know. It looks perfect, you know, but with all that happened before it’s hard to take the plunge.”
“Why?”
“Everything was perfect before. It was clear it would all work and there was no possible reason it wouldn’t. Then it didn’t, it all fell apart.”
“That doesn’t mean that will happen this time. Go all in.”
I shrug. “I’m inclined to, but do you know how hard it is to sign my name to another loan after all this?”
“Loan? What loan?”
“Jesus, Thad,” I say. “You know I have none of my cash left, right? I spent it all trying to keep the business alive for the employees. I’ve got my IRA, about a hundred grand. I’ll have to pull money against it for the down payment and then get a loan for about a million, hard money, and then refinance for the renovation capital.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Denny?” Thad asks. He stares at me like I’m crazy.
“The apartment building. It all makes sense, but I’ll still have to get the loan, forty-two thousand a unit, and then about fifteen or twenty per unit for the renovations and permitting to turn them into condos. I know I should go all in and it’s a good deal, but I’m still gun shy.”
“Fucking idiot,” he says with a laugh. “I’m talking about Annamarie, not the project. You need to go all in with that little girl. You’ve been screwing around for almost two months now. Let her call you Daddy, for Christ’s sake.”
I just stare at him for a moment, and I finally say, “I didn’t tell her she couldn’t.” I realize how stupid the comment is as I say it.
“Again,” Thad says. “Fucking idiot. You know that’s not what I mean. What I mean is you’re a Daddy and she’s a little girl even if she doesn’t know everything that means. She wants you and not just for fun, and you want her for more than fun, too. You need to go all in.”
He’s right, of course. I sigh and say, “Yeah, you’re right about that. I’ve been…” What am I going to say? Am I going to tell him I’ve been so wrapped up in what an absolute loser I am that I haven’t gone through the process of thinking about taking the relationship to the next level? Am I going to tell him I wrapped so much of my self-worth up in my business success that I feel like I don’t deserve any happiness?
When I don’t finish the sentence, Thad finishes it for me. “A fucking idiot?”
“All right,” I say. “I’ll talk to her about it. See if she wants it.”