I keep my voice quiet when I finally swallow the lump in my throat. “That might be a good idea, minus the stealing part. I told Avet that I would help him get back on the trail to finding Cher, and then I was out.” My eyes cut to hers. “I’m retired.”
“Living the dream,” she says glibly. “How’s that dream looking? Avet mentioned you were living your best hermit life.”
I snort but can’t say anything to the contrary. “It works for me.”
“You’re happy?” Sevan doesn’t ask with any sort of disbelief; it’s more like she’s wondering if something like happiness is in the cards for people like us.
I keep my eyes on the cluster of trees ahead of us. “Happiness is overrated. I eat well, and no one’s trying to knock down my door to tear my head off. Always a plus. People leave me alone, which is what I wanted.”
“Then I’m happy for you.”
I turn my chin to examine her for signs of sarcasm, but there’s no trace of mirth anywhere on her face. “You are? You’re not going to try to talk me out of going back home?”
Sevan shrugs. “You got what you wanted out of life. Why would I try to take that away from you?”
What I wanted was to be left alone, to live a normal life without the constant chase. I should be happy, but all I’ve been feeling is sedated. Living through a sentient coma of my choosing isn’t quite as fulfilling as I thought it would be.
No matter. I’m not going back. This is a one-time job. Get Avet on Cher’s trail, then I go back to my quiet life.
Sevan must be able to sense my melancholy. “There will always be monsters, Keran. No matter how many we kill, there’s no chance of eradication. You do what you can, and when you’re out, know that you’ve earned the right to leave the boxing ring.”
I lean my elbow on the door. “I wish more people saw it that way.” I hold out my fist to her, smiling when she bumps it with her knuckles. Apparently it’s our thing now. “Cheers, Sevanna. You’re not bad to work with.”
“You should write greeting cards, throwing around compliments that lavish,” she teases me, batting her impossibly long black eyelashes at me just to be theatrical.
My neck shrinks. “You know what I mean.”
She grins, her red lips drawing my eye. “I do. I usually prefer working alone, but maybe it’s not so bad, having backup like you and Avet.”
“That’s our slogan,” I joke, spreading my hands out to mime a banner over a storefront. “Trappers who aren’t so bad.”
“Perfect. I’ll take two.”
She holds my gaze for a solid few seconds, connecting with the parts of me that usually try to run away whenever a person gives me that look of permanence.
I would normally shut down, seeing a look like that on a woman, aiming itself at me for no good reason.
But instead of running away, I settle into my seat, wondering what else I’ve missed out on in life by shutting myself away.
Maybe having a woman in the passenger’s seat isn’t so bad after all.
21
INTO THE WOODS
Avet bangs on my window, breaking Sevan and me out of our back and forth. “Let’s go. It’s dusk.” He points at the sun dipping behind the tree line. He opens my door, offering his hand to help me out. Instead of hoisting me out, he tugs me into a tight hug.
He’s worried.
My arms don’t hesitate to grip him. We don’t bother with those awkward dude hugs that are basically two pats on the back and then a shove away from each other. I hug my best friend when he needs it, making sure he knows that if I am around, we tackle his fears together.
“What’s wrong?” I ask Avet, my fingers spreading across his spine.
“I don’t know. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I know we need to put Zagiri to rest but there’s something nagging at me.”
Avet never hesitates, so I don’t blow off his worry. “If you’re unsure, we can wait and do this tomorrow. Trust your gut, Avet. I do.”
Well, this time I do. Usually, his gut is telling him to run headfirst into chaos without a seatbelt. When his intuition tells him to slow down, that is the voice I always want to take seriously.