“What do you need to think about?”
“Oh, I don’t know! Let’s recap, shall we? First, I find out that Tessa knew about Jax, and she basically blackmailed you into marrying her. Then you tell me you don’t remember having sex with her, but you have two kids from those encounters. So you must have some super sperm, Caleb. On top of the fact you’ve finally admitted you’ve loved me all this time. What else?” She placed her finger on her lips. “Oh! You just asked me to marry you, but you didn’t exactly say the words. News flash, Mr. Hawkins, Jax is still my brother and has no idea about us.”
“I told you to let me worry about Jax.”
“That’s your reply? What about everything else I just said?”
“It’s all in the past.”
“No, it’s not. It’s standing right in front of me. You come with all these bad memories.”
“I also come with some pretty great memories too.”
She sighed. “You do. Which is even more confusing for me. I’m still trying to work through everything you confessed to me last night, and now you’re throwing in a marriage proposal? I mean, what the hell? You’re not making any sense, and if you took a second to think about that, you’d realize it.”
“Quite the contrary, darlin’. I’m completely rational.” Sliding on my pants, I got down on one knee in front of her.
She didn’t move.
She didn’t speak.
She was barely breathing.
I grabbed her hand and kissed the palm, allowing my lips to linger on her skin before I declared, “I’ve loved you from the moment I set my eyes on you. There is no me without you. My kids love you. I love you. You’re mine, Evie. You’ve always been mine.” Holding up the ring, I repeated, “Marry me, darlin’.”
Her mouth was wide open. “I … I … I don’t know.”
“Well…” I cocked my head to the side. “At least it’s not a no.”
“It’s not a yes either.”
I stood. “It will be.” Handing her the box, I added, “I just have to be patient.”
“You, patient?”
Once again, I didn’t falter in expressing another truth. “I’d wait forever for you, Evie.”
Silently praying, I didn’t have to.
Evie
The last twenty-four hours of my life were a whirlwind of emotions. It went from one thing to another, and I was desperately trying not to lose my shit more than I already had. Especially in front of his kids.
“Evie, are you okay?” Ethan asked on our drive home.
Home? Why did I keep thinking that? Did it feel like my home?
“I am. I’m just tired.”
“Me too,” Ariel agreed. “Daddy, when do we leave for Grammy and Grampy’s?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, yay! We get to spend more time with you and Evie!”
“You’re going to get to spend a lot of time with me from now on, baby girl.”
“Yay! Ethan, did you hear?”
“Really, Dad?”
“I promise.”
I leaned my head against the seat.
“Evie, are you coming with us too?”
“I am, sweetie.”
“Yay! This is the best day ever!”
Was it?
There was no controlling the inner turmoil or the wave of thoughts soaring through my mind and taking over every last inch of my headspace. I couldn’t form logical thoughts in my brain. I could only feel the anxiety flowing through every bone in my body, and it wasn’t letting up, holding me captive for the entire drive back to his estate.
My thoughts relentlessly spun for what felt like the hundredth time. Question after question tore through my mind, catapulting me into this downward spiral of what the fuck was happening in such a short amount of time.
How did Tessa know about Jax?
I never told her. I never told anyone. I couldn’t fathom how she’d found out. Jax didn’t come to my apartment. I always went to his. We didn’t hang out in public together often, and even if we did, it wouldn’t matter.
How would anyone know he was my brother based on us hanging out?
Caleb reached over and lightly caressed my hand. The kids were busy on their iPads, and they couldn’t see him being affectionate with me.
Did I want to marry Caleb?
I inhaled a deep, solid breath while he held onto my grasp. Caleb always went from zero to one hundred, and this was just another one of those circumstances. He didn’t half ass anything ever, but I couldn’t help but think he only wanted to marry me to give his children a mother.
What would they think of this? What about his parents? Would they like me? Did they know about me?
We hadn’t finished our discussion about how he was introducing me to them.
Was I his girlfriend now? Or still just his nanny? Ugh!
One problem would occur while the next one was forming. I felt like I was going to explode at any minute, and I didn’t want the kids to see it. However, Caleb was making that really fucking hard.