He exhaled a short chuckle but eyed me with trepidation all the same. “How can you be so sure? It’s a huge commitment. How can you know—”
“Because I love you, you stupid moron,” I blurted out. “Because you’re my family. Because I wanna see those kids—and you—every fucking day. And because I think youse’ll be happy here.”
He perked up and cocked his head. “Did you just say youse?”
For fuck’s sake!
“Can you focus?” I growled. He didn’t fucking get it. We were so close. I was almost there. I almost had him; I could already picture the moving boxes filling up in the hallway. I wasn’t gonna let him derail me now.
“I’m sorry,” he laughed softly. “It’s just so rare to hear the bad boy from Bay Ridge. He usually only comes out when he’s FaceTiming with his nephews.”
“Quit it—we’re in the middle of somethin’ here.” The stool nearly fell back when I slid off it and rounded the bar. “Say yes to me, Sloan. Permanently. Make this your home. Say yes.” I all but towered over him, and I held my breath as he held my future in his hands. They both did, he and Archie.
He turned in his seat and peered up at me. “I already did, Shep.”
I shook my head. “You said you can’t fight me any longer. Soon as you regain strength, will you resume the bitching? I gotta know, ’cause I’m tired as fuck.”
He offered an unsteady smile and averted his gaze. Then he eased off his chair to bring the coffee mug he’d barely touched to the sink. It was a ruse. He just needed distance. Always more distance.
Except for the awkward hug that’d morphed into something heavy I still found myself thinking back on at least once a day. Usually when I was stuck in traffic and my mind wandered.
Jesus H, maybe my sisters-in-law were right. Maybe I’d been desperately tugging Sloan closer to me to make up for the emotional void between us. Maybe my feelings for him had been buried so deep and so swiftly, written off before I could even consider them, because I knew what was at stake. Losing him was out of the question.
Screw it, it was my turn to initiate a hug. I hauled in a breath and acted before my body could weigh in. I grabbed his arm, yanked him toward me, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.
He stiffened and radiated discomfort, but he recovered a lot faster than I had and locked his arms around my middle.
“I’m sorry I was an asshole about your situation,” I murmured.
Just like last time, a wave of exhaustion washed over me, and it came with the usual companion of contentment and comfort. Like I instantly wanted to fall asleep right here on the kitchen floor, standing up, holding Sloan to me.
He exhaled and stroked my back. “Water under the bridge.”
I drew a deep breath and hugged him a little tighter.
He felt indescribably good against me. Sloan was my perfect combination of solid comfort, strength, and excitement. Holding him meant I was holding fifteen years’ worth of memories and brotherhood.
He’d been pulling away from me for the same reason I’d tried to get closer, hadn’t he? We had something, he and I. After tonight, it felt too obvious to deny. So fucking typical behavior from us too, with him cautious and holding back, and me fumbling and reaching out blindly.
He cleared his throat. “I take it you’ve discussed things with Archie. About you getting five new roommates.”
I smiled sleepily and let my hands drop down his exposed back. “We’re on the same page about more than you can handle right now.” Half a joke. Perhaps.
“That’s vague,” he muttered.
I hummed and gathered his arms around my neck instead, and in a fraction of a second, I crossed a line where suddenly everything was green-lit and okay to reach for. I left one universe and stepped into another. I pressed my lips to his neck and fell off a ledge. Boundaries, gone. Possibilities, endless. Fears, wiped away. Confidence, back in full force.
“I’m too sober to write things off as accidental, Greer.”
“Are you sober enough to remember everything you’ve said tonight?”
He swallowed hard. “Yeah.”
Good. Desire slithered through me in a thick, sluggish stream, and there was no barrier to stop me anymore. Mentally, physically, emotionally—I roared ahead. I dropped an openmouthed kiss along his neck that made him exhale unsteadily. Next, his fingers were in my hair, I was kissing his jaw, he was shuddering, I was letting my hands roam freely, and then we were tilting our faces together. I kissed him passionately, as if we’d just left fifteen years of foreplay behind, and dropped a hand to his towel-clad ass.
I squeezed him roughly to me, struck by an urge to devour and possess. The hunger kept growing, tightening my chest, making it more difficult to breathe, until we kissed each other so hard and held each other so brutally that all the tension just burst and evaporated into tiny droplets of something entirely new. Heavy yet…full of freedom. He was never gonna pull away from me again.