And then I see it, see it as clear as the coming rain. Whether he wanted to or not, he was always going to leave me anyway.
This was the inevitability I feared.
33
Roman
PRESENT
NO JOYRIDE
We dash from the car to the door of High Ground, Wilder holding the plastic bag about his head, before we burst through the door in an explosion of muttered curses and giggles.
“Fuck me, that rain’s cold!” I slide my hand through my wet hair, giving in to a whole-body shiver.
“You look like Moose when she gets wet.” Wilder squeals as I shake my head over him, droplets raining down on him.
“That’s because someone,” I say heavily, angling my gaze to a grinning Wilder, “told me only tourists use umbrellas in Oregon.” I pull a dollar from my pocket, feeding it into my little man’s hands. “He’s also fleecing me.”
“Not too badly,” he reasons, slipping the dollar into the pocket of his hoody. “You only said three swears for the whole of the day. And one of them when you tripped over that log, and I said you didn’t have to pay for that one because it was an accident. Accidental swears are okay, right Mom?” He turns, searching for his mother like a little bird returning to the nest. He smiles widely when he finds her sitting in his favourite spot.
“Look what dad bought!” He pulls the calendar from the plastic bag as he trots her way, waving it in front of him. “We got a new one for school when it starts, and it’s huge!”
“That’s great.” Kennedy smiles back at him, but something is missing. Her smile is lacklustre, and it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Ladies.” I nod to the oldies, but before I’ve taken more than a couple of steps, Kennedy stops me.
“Miss Betty and Miss Ursula are waiting for you to take them home. In your new car.”
Ah. Okay, so I’ve been outed.
Before we went hiking and before we hit Walmart, I had the hire company drive down and swap out my car. It’s no good driving around in a two-seater when you exist in a three-person family. So the Aston (which is a pretty nice ride but more a city showstopper) has gone, and now I’m driving a Mercedes G Wagon, which feels a bit like driving a tank.
So I didn’t tell Kennedy about my car. Or my money. Money makes people weird, but that’s not why I’ve kept my income status from her. I didn’t want her to feel threatened by it. Didn’t want her to worry I’d use it to steal her son, either through fancy lawyers or through inducement. Gifts and shit for Wilder. I’d guess it’s about time to come clean, judging by her demeanour.
“Yeah, we can do that. We can all go together.” It’ll be a bit of a squeeze, and the old girls might need a bit of a hand up, but it’s a five-seater.
“No.” The direction is strident before something ripples across her face. She’s upset. Angry? Whatever it is, she’s trying not to show it. “Drop Wilder to Annie’s, would you? He’s been invited to stay for dinner.”
“Yes!” Wilder pumps his fist, excitement blinding him to his mother’s distress. “When I get back, we can tell you all about our hike. You have to wait for me,” he says, swinging back to me. “I want to tell Mom about the waterfall.”
“My lips are sealed.” I make a locking gesture at my lips. It looks like we’ve other things to discuss in the meantime.
The curtain to the kitchen shimmers as Jenner steps through in his pub gear.
“Don’t you look like every other bloke in the street,” I say with a grin.
“It’s not nice to throw around insults,” he retorts, hiking his backpack higher on one shoulder.
“I’m sorry. Your nail polish really sets off that green polo.”
Folding his hand, he examines his nails for a beat. Jesus, I wonder what’s gone on in here to cause these two to have such long faces. “Thank you, that’s better. But I’m not sure if I’m talking to you yet.”
“Me?” I think that sounded more delighted than it should’ve. “What have I done?”
“Took back the car before taking me for a joyride.”
“Ah.” My beard rasps as I run my hand over it. “Sorry, Jen. The rental company only had today available to swap the cars over. I’ll make it up to you.” A kind of wickedness ripples across his face. “Steady on,” I add with a laugh. “Don’t get too carried away.”
“Spoilsport.” He pouts melodramatically.
“The new car can go off-roading!” Wilder interjects enthusiastically. “Dad and me are gonna take it off-road, aren’t we?” The kid mimes taking the wheel, and I find myself biting back the request that he hand it over to Jesus when he’s done. Looks like I could do with a bit of divine intervention right now. Instead, I ruffle my hand in his overly long hair and then make moves to get this show on the road.