I have definitely noticed them. I mean we have been having some incredible sex, but that's about it. I'm wondering if he could be hiding something as well. The ferris wheel starts to move. We both smile at each other, but they are awkward placating smiles. There is no real emotion behind them. We reach the bottom and our ride is over. Aside from helping me out there is no physical contact between us. "We should get going." Mikah says. I nod my head and follow after him. We hurry through the park. It is nearing sundown. We are meeting Aunt Edith and our son in front of the castle. We are going to watch the fireworks display together.
We arrive just in time and spot them quickly. Our son reaches for Mikah, who hosts him onto his shoulders for a better view. The crowd is large so we stand together. "What a perfect way to end the trip!" Aunt Edith gushes happily. "Yeah, sure is." I reply trying not to sound too awkward. I look towards Mikah. He avoids my gaze and says nothing. I don't mind, his responses these days are usually short and snippy. I get the sense that neither one of us really wants to talk to each other. I'm grateful that Aunt Edith hasn't noticed anything. "Daddy, when are we going to see pretty lights?" Our son asks. Earlier aunt Edith told him all about the fireworks, and they watched videos online. "Soon my son, soon." Mikah says feigning happens.
Soon the sun is completely gone. The crowd gets eager with anticipation. There is a few more minutes of waiting. Suddenly, the show starts. Our son exclaims loudly and claps his hands. With booms and sparkles the fireworks light up the sky above us. Everyone is in awe, including Aunt Edith. I look at Mikah, he leans towards me and kisses me. When our lips meet there is that familiar desire and passion. I try to make it last as long as possible. We both pull away and continue watching the fireworks with everyone else. This is supposed to be a magical event. While it is memorable, it doesn't feel like a fairy tale. I know that is because of what we are going through right now. Certain feelings definitely have a way of dragging you down.
I still do love Mikah. I love kissing him and being with him. My feelings definitely haven't diminished. Maybe we are just going through a rough patch like any other couple. If it is something common that can be fixed, then that gives me hope for us. Maybe things will work out and get better. There's two things I'm uncertain about. The first is that I have something to tell him again. I'm not sure how he will react to that. Also, I'm not sure how I will react to whatever he is hiding from me. I was hoping we would never have to go through confrontations like this again. I guess certain things are unavoidable, especially in a relationship like ours.
I do my best to enjoy the rest of the fireworks but it's not easy. After the show is over we head back to the hotel. "Well that was lovely. I'm glad we were all together to see that." Aunt Edith says. "Yes. It was a delightful experience." Mikah answers to keep the conversation going. "I'm hungry!" Our son announces loudly. We head to Aunt Aunt Edith's room where we order room service. We sit down in front of the tv for a family dinner. I'm glad that we are all together still. It serves as a type of distraction. If Mikah and I were alone, we probably would have just fucked and gone to sleep. Although that us appealing, there's this awkward tension in the room whenever we are alone together. That is why we have been doing so many family activities the past few days.
After dinner I take my time bathing our son and putting him to bed in Aunt Edith's room. When I go next door Mikah is already asleep. I'm a little relieved, but also saddened by that. I shower and put on my pajamas. I distract myself by packing some of our stuff early. When I run out of things to do i climb into bed. Mikah doesn't stir. With a soft sigh, I turn my back to him. I close my eyes, but it takes a long while before I can quiet my mind enough to fall asleep. The alarm rings early the next morning waking us both. He gets up first to turn it off. I lay in bed and listen to him shower and I don't know if I can endure another day of this awkwardness between us. After we are showered and packed we go next door to wake up Aunt Edith and our son. We have enough time for breakfast before we have to leave.