They continue to stare at me. "I'll be okay soon." Is my last response. Immediately they start talking to me and trying to cheer me up. My oldest cousin leans over and hugs me. "Tonight is about fun and happiness. Just relax and enjoy the moment. You don't need to worry about anything." She says. Her words are encouraging and touching. She pulls away and continues eating. My cousins all give me encouraging smiles. I'm touched by all the effort they are putting into making me feel better. It is actually working a little. It feels good to be here celebrating with them.
I'm reminded so much of the carefree days of our childhood. We all spent so much time together at this house. It is dark now. We turn on the outside lights and set up a few candles. The food is mostly eaten now. We converse gently and reminisce about our childhood antics. Aunt Edith watches us fondly. Their jolly mood is delightful and I soon find myself caught up in it. I'm able to forget my troubles for a while. I realize I'm genuinely enjoying the celebration.
Later that night the backyard has been cleaned up. Everyone is full from the food. The house has a relaxed and peaceful atmosphere to it. Everyone is mostly asleep, having retired to their old childhood bedrooms. Aunt edith is in the kitchen putting away the leftovers. Silently, I help her. She breaks the silence by asking, "Have you decided what you are going to do now that you have graduated?" Her tone is both gentle and curious. I know that she is just looking out for me. I'm grateful for it, now that I no longer have Mikah for that.
For a few seconds there is only the quiet clinking of dishes. I set a plate down on the counter and pick up another. In a tired voice I answer, "I'll just have to look for work I guess. It's not a big deal. I'll find something eventually. Once I do I can move into a smaller place that's close to the job. That will save me a little extra money." I try to put a positive spin on my words but Aunt Edith sees right through that. She reaches over and gingerly pulls the other dish out of my hands. When I look at her I see that her eyes are filled with concern.
"Are you really alright sweetheart?" She asks gently. This is the woman who raised me. She knows about my current situation. I can always turn to her for whatever I need. I try not to cry as I shake my head, "No." She walks over and hugs me in that maternal way of hers. I feel comforted and soothed, just like when i was a child. "Don't worry. Things will get better. I promise. Just don't give up, and remember that i am always here for you." She says while kissing my cheek. Teary eyed, I smile at her. We continue cleaning up. After the kitchen is clean we go to our separate bedrooms. I lay in my childhood bed. For once I'm too tired to think of Mikah. I close my eyes and fall asleep instantly.
When I wake the next morning, the sunlight is already streaming through a crack in my curtains. It hits me in the eyes. I groan and turn over. I pull the blankets over my head and get a few more minutes of sleep. I'm awakened for good by pressure in my stomach. I assume that it's only gas. With a yawn I sit up and throw the blankets off. My feet have barely touched the floor when I'm struck by a wave of dizziness. I shake it off thinking I just got up too fast. I walk across the room and stop suddenly. My hand covers my mouth as I gag. How strange. I take another step and it happens again.
My stomach starts turning. I can feel all the food I ate last night making its way back up. I throw open my door and run into the bathroom across the hall. Nausea overtakes me and I spend quite a few minutes throwing up. Eventually I make my way to the kitchen. Aunt Edith is cooking breakfast. "Hey sleepy head." She greets me. "You slept really late this morning. Your cousins have already left." She informs me. She hands me a plate of food. Quietly I take it to the table. I sit down and take a few delicate bites of the food. I can already feel it not sitting well. She joins me a few minutes later and notices how unusually quiet I am. She watches me with worry and ignores her own breakfast.
I feel the food turning in my stomach. "I'll be right back!" I say and run to the bathroom. I throw up again. Thankfully no one but Aunt Edith is around to hear. When I return to the table she stares at me with dawning comprehension. I pick at my food then glance at her. She gets up from the table before I can say anything. "Stay there. I'll be right back." She insists urgently. "Um, okay." I reply hesitantly. I'm caught off guard by her tone. She leaves the kitchen and I hear the front door close. I remain at the table and push my plate away. There's no way I'll be able to keep the food down. Twenty minutes later, the front door opens.