"Come on, cheer up! It won't be that bad! I promise you," Maia said, wiping her mouth. “We’ll figure something out.”
"I hope so... but that’s not even the scariest thing. Of course, I'm worried about losing the business and having to leave town and all, and this business is what we've dreamed of for so long. We’ve worked our asses off for it. It's just that..."
"What?" Maia asked, giving me her undivided attention.
"I knew I’d face challenges running this business. I never thought it would happen this way, but I knew that it might not all work smoothly. I’ve come to terms with that. The idea of going back to Coldport, though… that scares the shit out of me.”
I looked away from Maia to hide some of my emotions from her.
"Why are you taking this so hard?" Maia asked. “Not all businesses are immediately successful. It might take a few false starts before we get our big break, and that’s fine. We just need to keep trying.”
Sometimes I felt that Maia did not get me at all. Or that, perhaps, she didn't pay enough attention to get me. We’d met eight years ago, the summer before college, and at times I felt like she couldn’t see what was in my head if I didn’t spell it out.
It was probably because she was a hopeless romantic and optimist while I was not much of either. I couldn’t blame her. I was going through my own turmoil with having to start over. It took me a little while to gather enough strength and courage to say the words aloud.
"I feel like I failed, Maia. I was supposed to be this great fashion designer. It was my pride. It was my escape all those years back, and my friends and Dad all encouraged me! Even in college, all my design professors said, ‘Ella, you’re going to be the new star of fashion design, just you wait and see!’, ‘Ella, such groundbreaking designs’, ‘Ella, this, Ella that’. And here I am, at 27, living in a one-bedroom apartment above a pizza shop, with a few hundred dollars to my name and those I might not even have in a few days."
I stopped ranting and sighed. If I’d gone on a while longer, it would have ended with me crying into my coffee and, let's face it, it's not as if any amount of self-pity would mask my failings.
I never even developed the courage to tell my dad what was going on. He probably believed all was going well with his dear daughter. I couldn’t bear the disappointment he’d feel when he’d finally knew.
Maia looked at me with an unreadable face while she worked on the rest of her bagel. When she finished eating, she spoke up. "I think you're being far too harsh on yourself. Really... It's not as bad as you seem to think. Look, sweetie, I'm in this mess too. You’re not alone. The bad luck is only temporary, Ella. And it takes one stroke of good fortune for us to have things running again. It will work out, trust me!"
"I suppose you're right... Perhaps it's only for a few months, maybe a year. If we really find a way to get it going, we can earn enough money to get even by this time next year. And develop the business, of course," I said, feeling a little more enthusiasm for finding a footing in me. Or maybe it was the caffeine. Either way, they both helped.
"There you go, that's the spirit! Now, let's have that key lime pie I’ve had my eyes on and another round of coffee, shall we? My treat," Maia said as she gestured to the waiter.
"You were supposed to tell me about that guy you met on Tinder. What’s the deal with him?" I asked, still clutching my black coffee, which I could feel was getting tepid.
"I haven't met him yet. But we have been talking quite a bit. You know, the usual... Texting and even talking on the phone. He has a nice voice. He invited me to come to a party with him and his friends tomorrow night and maybe a ski trip!"
"Wait, you're not thinking of going, are you?"
"Why not? Free drinks and all? Why would I say no to that?" she laughed.
"Ummm.... because you don't know him? Because you've never met him before? Or maybe... because he could actually be the guy from The Shining with the axe?” I asked incredulously.
"Great. Now I'm getting safety tips from the girl who thought the man with the blue eyes in her dream was her soulmate reaching out to her across the universe!" Maia rolled her eyes.
I felt my cheeks burning bright red even though those weren’t fair comparisons at all. "Maia, look, it's not the same thing. Ok, fine. Maybe I got carried away a little with the dream... Maybe I'm lonely or something, I don't know..."
"Maybe you haven't gotten laid in over a year..."
I blushed again and quickly looked around to see if anyone in the small coffee shop had heard. There was no one there except for two boys who were clearly skipping school to film a TikTok. Both of them were giving advice on how to date women despite not looking like a day over twelve.
"Maia! That's not the point of this. The point is... I think you're being a little reckless. Ok? You said it yourself. You've only just met this guy on Tinder and exchanged a few texts. And now you're going with him and his friends away on a skiing trip? Who knows what could happen?"
“Well, maybe you should come along. There’s safety in numbers, no?”
“The fuck? It’s only the more, the merrier with pervs.”
Maia laughed. "Look at it this way, it’s not a private party, and it’s at a club. I have no boyfriend, no money, and I’m living in my aunt’s good graces. Can I, please, have a little fun?"
Watching her face as she said those sentences, I realized how much similar our lives were. I also had no money, no prospects, and a dying fashion business that I had worked on like crazy to only not get off the ground. The horror and anxiety hit me once more, and I realized that, maybe, Maia was right. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe it was okay to have a little fun before facing our problems head-on… and maybe I should too. It wasn’t like our problem was going away any time soon.
"Why don't you come with me, Ella?" I heard her voice calling out to me as if from far away.
I had been watching the two boys film their TikTok. One had knocked over the phone, and the other, not realizing it, was still talking about dating women as if he was a guest speaker at a college lecture.