I look at my dad and he takes my arm. My mom takes a deep breath and goes ahead to the seating area. I take a few deep breaths as flowers are put in my hands. Danny goes with Gio, her man, then, when she’s told to go, Valerie loops Massimo’s arm.
“Your wife isn’t going to kick me or something, is she?” Valerie asks.
“As long as your hands don’t wander, you’ll survive.” He chuckles, obviously love in his eyes as he watches his wife and son go down the aisle. “She’s a fierce little thing, isn’t she?”
I roll my eyes, but everything in me wants to follow right away and go to Roman. He has to be first right? He’s the one I’m with on paper. A shiver teases my spine and I take another deep breath.
“Sophie?”
I take a step back for a second, trying to calm down. Dad cups my face between his hands. “Second thoughts?”
“No!” I say, then lower my voice. “No, I’m just … just overwhelmed.”
He chuckles. “Take a few deep breaths, honey. You have all the time in the world.”
My eyes flick up to him. “Liar.”
He chuckles and strokes over my cheeks with his thumbs. “As much as I’ve given you and the guys hell, I know that they love you. If you took an hour to get down the aisle each time, they’d still be there waiting for you, smiling, crying, all of it.”
“But the guests. And I didn’t check the reception hall and…” Another shaking breath leaves me.
Dad takes a few deep breaths and motions for me to do the same. He hugs me tightly. “None of that matters. Not a damn thing matters other than how you feel. Do you want to do this? Are youreadyto do this?”
“Yes,” I say.
It’s the only answer. Not because of all the deposits. Not because of all the work. Not because of the eyes watching. I know that the four men I love are waiting for me. Roman, Holden, Nick, and Gunner. They’re going to take me in their arms, tell me everything that we’ll have after today, and then … and then I’ll kiss them, promise them, my love, for as long as I live, and we can relax into our honeymoon and forever.
I close my eyes and picture them, holding me, hugging me, cooking together in the kitchen before game night. The way they proposed to me, us in Italy, us in Hawaii, and every moment we’ve shared in between.
With anyone else, six weeks to plan a wedding after less than a year together would be insane. I’d be trembling, I’d be second-guessing every decision that brought me here. I take a slow breath.
“I want to do it,” I say, sure. “I want to, so badly.”
“Four times.” Dad reminds me. “That’s how many times we’re walking down the aisle.”
I nod and picture my fiancés. How strong and loving they are. The deeper sides to them I’ve seen. I take an unsteady breath and smile. “I want them. All of them. Just the aisle is … intimidating.”
My dad reaches into his jacket, then switches to the other side. He pulls out a piece of paper. “I don’t know how this is supposed to help, but Nick gave it to me, just in case you started getting nervous.”
My brow furrows and then I take the piece of paper, unfold it, and see a crayon drawing of a shark and a person swimming together. It’s not great, it’s silly, the shark is bright orange with spots of purple and it has a smile. The stick figure person has a claw-like hand on the shark and the sketchy blue background covers the whole page.
I sniff at it, then hold it to my chest. “It’s perfect.”
Dad shakes his head and puts his hand out for it. When I hesitate, he chuckles. “I’ll give it back to you after the wedding, baby girl. You can take all the time you want in between; we’ll need it since I’m going to be jogging around to pick you up again and walk again and again.”
I laugh and wipe at my nose. My heart feels like it’s going to burst into confetti, my legs don’t feel very reliable, and my skin is hot all over. I can do this. More importantly, Iwantto do this. I want my men.
Dad and I get back into position and I exhale slowly. Everything in me is begging to sprint up to the aisle, grab all four men and run away together, into the sunset like every romance book I’ve ever read.
But Dad loops my arm and nods to someone.
The music starts and after another slow breath, to calm everything in me and stop the tremors of excitement and nervousness, I take a step forward.
Here goes everything.