“I told you, that’s not who I am anymore, Nancy. I love New York. I love Sophia. I love my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“What if I had been pregnant.”
I pause. This is a terrible hypothetical. I feel anger heat my veins. She swallows. “I thought I was. I was a month late. But when I went to the doctor, I found out it was nothing. I didn’t act irrationally. I wanted you home to be a father. But when you chose … When I realized I wouldn’t be enough, what was the point?”
“You weren’t willing to compromise. I said one more. One more and I’d come home. You gave up on me, Nancy.”
“Like you stopped me!” She yells. “You chose nightmares, PTSD, losing a leg, war itself over being with me.”
“I made a commitment and you knew, even back then, I wouldn’t turn my back on a commitment. You encouraged it until you didn’t.”
She sniffs.
I shake my head. “It was a lifetime ago. It’s better for both of us if you don’t come to the wedding. Just enjoy Paris and go home.”
With that, I head inside. Roman waits, sitting calmly in the lobby. When he looks at me, he stands and I rub the back of my neck. “One fight down.”
“Not civil?” He asks.
“She was expecting the old me.”
“Ah, shy, silent, passive as hell, the one who looked for any kind of direction in someone else.” Roman nods. He pats my shoulder. “That boy grew up fast.”
“And I know what I want, Roman. I want the life we have laid out with Sophie. Nothing can tempt me away from it.” Then I look around. “And she is …”
“Crying. Possibly drinking. Her mom and Valerie got her to focus on the list so she’s double-checking the venues with Nick. Gunner’s setting up a tasting for the meal today so we’re busy.”
Of course. Because Sophie is going to need to cool off and to calm down. I close my eyes a moment. “It would have been worse if I wouldn’t have talked to her, right? I had to.”
“You had to.” Roman agrees. “It would have been sketchy, she would have kept coming up, and that would have made it look like you were hiding something. Now you know everything and you still choose Sophie.”
I nod. “Without question.”
Roman pats my back just before Gunner comes down and asks for a car to head to a restaurant. Gunner glances between us and relaxes back. “Well, now that’s off the list.”
“Sophie?” I ask him.
“She’s … upset.” He confirms. “Kind of ran. I mean, after being cornered by Neal in an elevator, she-”
“What?” Roman demands through gritted teeth.
Gunner holds his hand up. “Later on that one, because we’re going to rock-paper-scissors for who gets to kickthatass.” He returns his focus to me. “She’s had a long morning. Hungover, dealing with double checking things, Neal, seeing you with another girl without any kind of warning and without knowing what’s going on.”
“And you said what?”
“That she was your high school ex, that she left you when you got deployed again, and that was all I knew. After the shit with Bella, and Sasha, and me with the strippers, her mom all over us, I think it’s just been too much on her heart.”
“I made myself clear,” I say firmly. “Nancy was in love with a different me. I belong to Sophie and Sophie alone. No one else. I want no one else.”
Gunner pours the champagne he brought down, hands Roman and I a glass and raises his in a toast. “Cheers to a hard conversation coming up.”
“Private conversation.” Because if it’s not, Gunner is going to try to help and this is something that I need to be able to say for myself. “Is it just me or is this getting more complicated by the day?”
SOPHIE
Nick tries to get me to focus on where the altar will be, under a gorgeous tree to protect us from the sun and make for the best pictures as we walk through the garden. Valerie asks questions, taps her fingers, and makes comments, but all I can see is that damn woman.
The way Holden caved and led her away without saying anything to me. How Gunner rushed and said she was an old ex – the one that pushed him away. Well, she’d have to be stupid to push him away now.