GUNNER
Jesus whiskey burns the nose. The water and napkins at the bar helped, but it was so gross it needed to be taken care of. I huffed all the whiskey out of my nose and downed two glasses of water from the sink to clear the burn from my throat.
At least I feel completely sober. And better about things with Sophie. Her coming back was win enough for me. I have a feeling sex is off the table for tonight though. Maybe I can manage a few kisses before the night is over.
But I’m not really bothered. Which is fucking weird. I love having sex with her. I love fingering her, making her come, all of it. But I want her happy more than anything. She deserves it considering she puts up with us assholes all the time.
I leave the bathroom, rubbing my nose, and run into Bella. She looks at me for a long moment. “Did you just do coke in the bathroom?”
“No. You know I don’t do that.”
“People do crazy things at weddings.” She shrugs, chewing her bottom lip. “Can we talk?”
I glance around. We’re in a secluded area, alone. I don’t want to assume the worst. I mean, it’s Bella. She’s smart. She’s not going to be as stupid as Nick thinks. But I don’t want Sophie worried for even a second.
“About what?”
“I’m freaking out, Gunner.” She hugs me. “What if Matthew and I break up? What if this is wrong? We’ve fought so much over the wedding and if we can’t even get to the alter … even if we just barely make it, what if it’s wrong?”
I blink a few times. “Does it feel wrong, Bells?”
She looks up at me and presses her forehead to my chest. “Out of the guys, you got me the best. You knew how much fun life could be and wanted to live it up. And now I’m shacking up and doing the wife and marriage thing.”
“Which is good. It’s what you want.” I remind her.
“I know. I know.” She nods but looks up at me. “Gunner, I don’t think I can do this. I don’t know if I can walk down the aisle and promise him forever.”
“Bella.”
“Not when I might still have feelings for someone else.”
I push her away gently. “Bella, go talk to your fiancé. Talk to Matthew. You guys work. Embrace it.”
“Because things with that girl are so perfect?” She hisses.
That stops me in my tracks. Bella nods and closes the space between us again. “Just kiss me. Then tell me that she’s the one for you. Tell me that you haven’t thought about me at all. That you don’t miss going to concerts together. That you don’t miss our crazy weekends. Tell me that you haven’t thought for just one second what it would be like to be in Matthew’s place.”
“I don’t need to kiss you to know where I stand.” I stay firm.
Her eyes water and I feel bad, but not bad enough. “Bella, you’re under a lot of stress, okay. A fuck ton. A fucking mountain of it. But you know this is wrong. You love Matthew. Think about him.”
“That’s why I need this! I need to know we’re not making a mistake. Because once I see his face, it’s real. Tomorrow is real. A lifetime with him. And what if we end up like Miles and his … whatever she is now? I can’t handle that. I can’t. I need to know now.” She insists.
“I’m not kissing you.”
“Please, Gun.” She begs. “Please.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that, Bella. Not to Matthew. Not to Sophie. And not to you.”
She shoves me against the wall and tries to climb me, tries to plant her lips on mine. I grab her arms, trying to hold her away. A throat is cleared and Bella looks over, her eyes all watery. Nick crosses his arms over his chest.
“Fuck.” I breathe.
“Nicky, please. Talk some sense into him.” Oh, this can only get worse. “Tell him to kiss me. Tell him I need this.”
“You don’t.” Nick hasn’t sounded this serious and pissed since we were discharged. “Go to your future husband.”
“But-”