“Pushy.” She grumbles. “I can protect myself. I got him to let me go.”
“Sven was weak in many ways,” I consider. “I still don’t understand why he …”
“Loyalty is given not bought,” Valerie says, adjusting so she’s sitting up and my head is on her chest. She rubs down the back of my neck. “He had a crisis there. Torn between hismaybeson and the man who gave him plenty. He was trying to have both.”
“Not an option in our world.” I sigh.
“That’s a glowing review.” She snorts.
I swat her thigh. “I warned you that I’d ruin you. I told you we’d destroy you. Our world is … too much.”
“Pretty on the outside,” She says, quoting our session.
“You were really listening.”
“I tend to,” She agrees.
But I’m still waiting on a real answer. I want to know if this is her attempted goodbye. She presses her face to the top of my head. “People are messy, Hunter. We’re problematic, but I like to think we’re trying to be better every day.”
“I am.”
“I think we might need to put a pause on what we’ve been doing, all four of us I mean. Until we can get the other shit taken care of. I didn’t want any regrets, anything to make me give in when I say that, so I guess it’s a goodbye of sorts.”
“Of sorts.” I sit up. “Because we’re going to keep checking on you and I’m still planning on going to counseling. Especially since I can speak with you more openly.”
Valerie reaches out to me as I get out of bed and drag my pants on. She stands up. “Hunter.”
“You need to think, like you said.”
“I still want you guys around. I still want you in my life, but I’m not some little kid. I can protect myself and take care of myself.” She takes a slow breath and tugs my shirt from my hands. I arch an eyebrow and put my hand out. She holds it behind her back. “Listen to me.”
I motion for her to continue.
“I have things to figure out, but you three do too. Because I likeallof you. That means more than sex to me. That means you all need to make sure it’s doable. With your world, with each other, with me. I still want you three around.”
“Greedy,” I tease.
“Your fault.” She pushes my shirt against my chest. “I’m going to be here and I know that you will be too. We’re going to figure it out.”
I kiss her, cupping the back of her neck. “I’m not accepting your goodbye. It’s a ‘see you later’ instead. And if I know my brother and Lief at all, I can promise you that they want to figure it out with you too.”
“I like that,” She hums.
We’ve already fallen for her, but she’s right we do have plenty to figure out. Mountains of things to sort through. And I can’t wait to get started.