“Okay.” Sloane stood and walked over to the door. He placed his palm against the security panel and entered his security clearance, setting the room to privacy mode. Dex didn’t even notice. With a sigh, he took his chair and moved it over to Dex. He sat down, grabbed his partner’s chair, and wheeled him over to face him. Dex blinked at him. It was only then that he noticed the room was in privacy mode.
“What’s going on?” Dex asked, his head cocked to one side as he studied Sloane.
“Babe, I need you to talk to me.”
“About what?”
Sloane’s brows shot up. Really? Was Dex that oblivious to what was happening, or was he purposefully trying to avoid talking about it? Leaning forward, Sloane took Dex’s hands in his.
“We need to talk about what’s going on with you. Have you even thought about seeing Dr. Winters?” As expected, that earned him a frown.
“I don’t need to talk to a shrink. If I need to talk about my feelings, I’ll just talk to you.”
“And you know I’ll always be right here to listen, except you’re not talking to me, sweetheart. You’re doing everything but talking.”
“What is there to talk about?” Dex shrugged. He pulled his hands out of Sloane’s and rubbed at his thighs, his gaze off across the room.
“Dex, you were tortured. You’ve been having seizures. You found out your parents were murdered. What do you mean ‘what is there to talk about?’ Lots, baby. There’s lots to talk about.”
Dex slowly turned his gaze back to Sloane, his eyes narrowed. “Did you just call me baby?”
“I did.”
“It’s weird. Makes me think of Dirty Dancing.”
“Of course it does.” Sloane held back a smile. “What would you like me to call you, then?”
“Batman.”
“Not going to happen.”
“It was worth a try.” Dex’s smile faded. He swallowed hard. “I’ve had a few nightmares. Sometimes it’s a replay of exactly what happened. The worst ones are when it changes. When it’s not me in that chair, but you, or Cael, and I’m helpless to stop it.”
Sloane wheeled himself closer to Dex. He took Dex’s hands in his again but didn’t speak, simply offered his strength.
Dex dropped his gaze to their hands, his brows drawn together. “I’ve been trying to process it. Not what Wolf wanted, but what he did… to me. And I don’t just mean the torture, I mean the uncertainty. The fear. I hate jumping at shadows or noise. Hate that I find myself looking over my shoulder. He messed with my head, and I hate it so much.” With jaw set, he lifted his chin, and Sloane’s heart squeezed at the determination in those pale blue eyes. “But fuck it if I’m going to let him win. It’s going to be hard, but I’m working through it. I’ll get through it like I’ve gotten through all the other messed-up situations I’ve found myself in since I became a cop. I won’t let it get the better of me. Fuck Wolf. If I ever see him again, he’s getting kicked in the nads.”
Sloane couldn’t help his chuckle. Now that sounded like his Dex.
“The seizures, they’re scaring the shit out of me. I won’t lie about that. But I think Austen’s right. I think I need to play this out.”
Sloane rubbed his hands over his face and got to his feet. “That’s insane, Dex. Who knows what’s causing them, and you refuse to seek medical attention?” Sloane knelt down beside Dex, hoping he’d listen to reason. “You need to see a doctor. Don’t you want to know what’s causing them?”
“Of course I do, but we need to figure out a way to do that without me going to the hospital. My gut tells me it would be a bad idea.”
“No, Austen said it would be a bad idea, and last time I checked, neither you nor him are doctors.”
“There’s a reason he said it. I might not trust TIN, but I trust Austen not to lie to you. Not about something like this. He might be a lot of things, but he would never betray you.”
Dex was right about that. They didn’t know a whole lot about what Austen did working for TIN, but Sloane had watched the kid grow up. Austen wouldn’t deceive him.
This conversation was far from over, but Sloane knew when it was time to move on. For now. He returned to his chair and took Dex’s hand again. “Okay, what about your parents?”
Dex frowned. “I don’t think I want to talk about that.”
“Hey, look at me.” Sloane opened his stance so he could pull Dex’s chair closer to him. He reached out and cupped Dex’s face. They’d reached the source of his partner’s true pain. It wasn’t just Wolf; it wasn’t whatever was happening inside Dex. It was about his parents.
“I know it’s stupid. They died when I was five. I mourned their death. I moved on. And it’s not even finding out they were killed. Deep down, I knew that. I knew something wasn’t right. Kids pick up on a lot of things, more than adults realize. Yet despite all that, I told myself they were ordinary people leading ordinary lives who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Dex’s eyes grew glassy. He pushed away from Sloane and stood, pacing the office.