Ash ran his hand over the fuzzy brown mane, a big smile on his face. “He’s cute.”
“I’ve had him since I was a baby. He was my favorite growing up. Had him with me everywhere I went.” Cael chuckled at the memory. There was nowhere he’d gone without Braveheart. When Dex wasn’t around, Braveheart kept him from feeling scared.
“That’s adorable.”
“Well, he used to be Dex’s favorite. It was his.”
Ash put Braveheart down. “Less adorable.” He walked back to the bed and resumed his spot, flopping back next to Cael.
“My dad said when he brought me home Dex insisted I have Braveheart because I needed him more than he did. I took him everywhere. When I was unsure or scared and Dex couldn’t be with me, Dex would say that Braveheart would help me be strong and brave. I believed him.” He couldn’t help his smile.
“Must’ve been something.”
“What’s that?” Cael hadn’t expected the almost wistful tone in Ash’s voice. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Ash’s childhood must have been like. Cael had been lucky. If Tony hadn’t adopted him, who knew what would have become of him. With all the conflict and intolerance going on, he would have been another Therian child lost in a world that didn’t want him.
“Growing up here,” Ash replied quietly, drawing Cael’s attention. “Your dad’s an amazing guy. Your brother….”
Cael couldn’t help his smile. “My brother…?”
“Isn’t always a jackass,” Ash admitted. He actually looked like it pained him to say the words, and it made Cael chuckle.
“If you tell him I said so I’ll deny it till my dying breath.”
“Don’t worry.” He gave Ash a wink. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
Ash lay down on the bed so his head was next to Cael’s but upside down. “There were days back then, when I didn’t think I would make it out of there.”
“The facility?” Cael asked gently.
Ash nodded somberly. “A part of me didn’t want to, didn’t believe I deserved to, but I did. For Sloane. He needed me. After years of being alone, of feeling like I deserved everything that was happening to me in there, I met someone who needed me to protect him.” He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “I’d failed my brother. I wasn’t going to fail my best friend.”
Cael nodded his understanding when it struck him. “Wait. You have a brother?” How was it possible he hadn’t known? Why wouldn’t Ash have told him? Or even mentioned him? Cael was so confused.
“Had. He’s dead.”
Cael swallowed past the lump in his throat, watching Ash’s eyes grow glassy. He rolled onto his side toward Ash. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Were you close?” Ash flinched at his words. “Ash?”
“Arlo and I did everything together. When we were kids, I….” Ash drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was figuring myself out. There was a boy. I really liked him. One day he told me to meet him behind the bleachers for some fooling around. It was during the riots. I was supposed to have walked home with Arlo. Instead I sent him ahead so I could kiss Davie.” A tear escaped and rolled down Ash’s cheek. He quickly wiped it away. “Arlo was beaten to death on the way home.”
“Oh, Ash.” Cael put his hand to Ash’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“To make things worse, when I got home, with everything going on, I shifted for the first time. It was too much for my parents, and they called Animal Control. I was caged up and carted away before Dr. Shultzon took me in. He’s the reason Arlo’s information never made it into Themis.”
Cael couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t so naïve that he wasn’t aware of how cruel the world could be, but he never understood how parents could discard their Therian children so easily. How could Ash’s parents send him away when he needed them the most?
“Arlo was my twin. I used to tease him that I was the oldest because I was born first.”
Cael’s eyes went wide. “Your twin?”
“Losing a sibling is difficult enough, but when that sibling is your twin, it’s a whole other level of loss. Like a part of you is missing. Arlo’s death still haunts me. In my dreams, when I’m awake. That anger and anguish has become a part of me. It’s made me who I am, and I don’t know that I can change.”
“Why would you want to change?” Cael tenderly stroked Ash’s jaw. “If you want to change who you are, then you do that, but you do it because it feels right to you. If you don’t want to change, the hell with everyone else. I know what’s underneath that gruff exterior. I fell in love with you for who you are, Ash. Every cursing, foul-mouthed, grumpy inch of you.”
Ash turned his face toward Cael, his expression troubled. “Why?”
How could Ash not see it? “You mean why would I fall for someone who’s so sweet and wonderful to me? Who drives me crazy in the most amazing ways? Who takes care of me, protects me, stands up for me, who respects me and makes me incredibly happy? Why would I fall for this unpredictable unstoppable force of awesome who’s sexy and fierce? Why would I fall for that guy?”
Ash’s smile reached his eyes. “I love that about you. The way you look for the good in everyone. You see me the way I want to see myself.”