Present Day
“Holy shit,” I gasp, struggling to stand straight and breathe. The dress Roxie picked out for me has not returned the same way. She’s taken in the hips and inserted a slimming yet merciless panel in the stomach area. Something she’s notorious for, but God almighty. The opulent garment is a monstrous recreation of torture.
Sure, my ass isn’t going to fall out, but I will also forgo breathing, something nearly impossible to do already because of my nerves. Now, with this iron maiden on, there will be no enjoying any of the fancy food I’ve been dreaming about.
“I’m going to kill her.” I wheeze out the threat, my lungs acting more like a boa constrictor than an aid to my body. Roxie knows I hate alterations, and I always warn her not to go too far, but she never listens. For the millionth time, I vow to never shop with her again.
If shopping happens in the future. Roxie said this event is secure, but there have been small what-ifs ringing through my head all night.
What if someone does sneak in? Something could get leaked, then word could get out—anything could happen. I snap my eyes closed, managing to pause time for a second.
I’m paranoid, tired, over-thinking, and none of that will happen.
“Everything will be fine,” I murmur to myself. A shuffle toward the door pulls my focus away. This gown is so damn tight—forget about worrying over a past that won’t find me tonight. I’ll be lucky to survive six hours in this thing.
Telling Roxie off is what I’m focused on now as I take the elevator to the main floor.
My legs strain against the fabric as I walk. The hips are unforgiving, and I’m imagining all the popping sounds of the thread giving way if I stride too freely.
Stepping outside, I glimpse at the white limo parallelly parked a few feet away. Roxie’s ride. Well, really, her mom’s ride, but Roxie is the only one who uses it.
I do my best strut down the sidewalk, and I’m … well, not as bitchy about the gown. The satin mermaid hemline fluttering behind leaves me feeling more elegant than I really am.
Tugging on the handle, I ease down into a buttery leather seat, sewn-in ass and all, surprised when nothing pops or rips in half.
“Man!” Roxie’s outburst fills the limo. “Dat ass.” She gestures to my shape, making an hourglass in the air with both hands.
“More like my poor lungs.” I struggle for an inhale. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“That’s what you always say. You look hot, don’t you?” Her face deadpans. She’s heard the same complaint from me for the last four years. Tonight won’t change anything. “I was thinking of making you look like a goddess. And I definitely succeeded.” She smirks with a cocky shrug.
“Well, next time, leave enough room so I can actually walk and not waddle, or at least let me pick something with more coverage. I’m half naked and can’t breathe.”
All she does is roll her golden eyes and shake her head. “Go ahead, Rolf.” She addresses our driver and rolls up the privacy window before giving me her attention again. “You did your hair and makeup the way I suggested.” She likes it when I follow her advice. Tonight’s no exception. Her tapered jaw juts out as she gives me another once-over. “Are you glad you wore your hair up?”
“I am. And, of course, you were right.”
I’ve thrown my wavy hair in a tousled bun. It’s precariously orderly. Secure, yet looking like it could come undone at any moment, and it’s sexy as hell with a few soft strands framing my face. Combined with my flicked eyeliner and mauve stained lips, I feel like a movie star. That’s Roxie’s doing. Sure, I can make myself look good, but Roxie’s suggestions always take me up a notch.
Then there’s flawless Roxie, who always looks red carpet worthy. Her white satin sheath gown clings to her figure, and her gorgeous burgundy locks are pin waved.
I look at her and shake my head. “Where did you find your gown?” With its oversized black flower covering the left half, it’s divine—perfect for her.
“Mom sent it to me. Talk about lack of oxygen. I’m wearing enough Spanx to be the CEO.” Two slender hands clutch at her stomach. She laughs, but the good humor falls away with a squint. Her keen vision picks me apart as she studies my appearance head to toe once more. “You’re sitting stiff as stone. Are you nervous or excited about tonight?”
“Well, now I’m nervous because you said something.” My heart elevates, knocking hard at my wrists, thanks to her reminder.
It grows when she shakes her head and narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t believe you. I can tell you’re worried about tonight.”
The meltdown I almost had in my apartment moments ago starts to resurface. “Maybe coming was a mistake.”
“Liv.” Her tone is gentle and low. “I would never put you in a situation where you’d get hurt. All I want is for you to have a bit of fun tonight, okay? You need it. Hell, you deserve it.”
“I know.” A sad and defeated sigh slips out. “It’s just hard to let go sometimes. Sorry for raining on tonight’s fun.”
“Honestly,” she says, tracing her fingers over the black flower of her gown, “I think you should see someone.”
“And what will they do?” I shift in the seat. The leather is no longer comforting or relaxing, not with this tightness tingling in my jaw and neck. “Put me on pills? I don’t want that.”
“Shit, if I know.” She folds her arms. “But I think it will help to get it off your chest. People go to school for that, ya know, to help you get your crap straight. And then if you tell the police about Lonnie—”
“They’ll do nothing.” My voice is drenched in numbness.
She leans forward in her seat, white satin against her dark skin drooping past her collarbone to reveal cleavage. “You can’t know that. It’s their duty to protect you. I’m sure if you request protection, they’d do something.”
“Sorry. But last time, everything should have gone according to plan, and it all failed.” I throw up every protective wall I possess. I already don’t want to go for numerous reasons, and too much emotion will rattle and throw me off for the party. Something I don’t want because this event is my week's highlight.
“That happened in the town you came from, not here in Seattle.” Her usually camera-ready face mars with a scowl. “No one’s here to protect him, and you have friends like me and Kitty.”
I scowl. “You seriously think you and Kitty are a match for Lonnie?” I shake my head at her misgivings. “You don’t know Lonnie.” I slump in my seat and look out the window, deciding to kill the subject. My accelerating heart tells me I’m nearing a tipping point in my composure. All the strength in my voice dissipates. “Everything’s been quiet, so maybe he won’t find me.”
Roxie and Kitty don’t know it, but I’ve taken large steps to erase the person I used to be.
Olivia Tucker is harder to find than a non-existent ghost. Because that’s not even my name.
Vivian.
The word echoes in my mind but is so foreign, ringing like a distant, unfamiliar voice. Crazy how a sacred Christian name can fade as time passes.
“Fine, Liv,” Roxie pops off. “But promise not to forget I’m here for you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Whether you ever tell me the whole truth, or not.”
Now that does something. It stirs a calm in my heart and shoots warmth through my veins. Besides Roxie and Kitty, only two other people have supported and believed in me. But those people are gone. Or are they? Roxie’s strength sounds mighty familiar to someone else’s. My head tilts as the limo rounds a corner. Is reincarnation real? It certainly seems so now.
But it all cracks away as a popbangs out in the limo.
I glance over to see Roxie with two champagne glasses clinked together, and a long-necked pink champagne bottle open, trailing a chill in the air. Proof it’s been living in the mini fridge. She pours a glass, and a smile tilts up one side of her mouth, bringing her ever elusive dimple into view. “Let’s make you forget about whatever you’re bothered about and have a good time tonight.”
“Hell yes. Now that’s what I’m talking about.” I move to sit across from her, accept my glass, and sip away until we arrive at the party.
Turns out, the drink was an excellent idea. It’s summoned enough liquid courage for me to walk into the party with very little hesitation. I haven’t attended a large gathering for well-to-do people in a while, so I was expecting more nerves upon arrival.