I headed to the nearest store and bought some food for her.
“Got company, Ry?” The shop’s owner wasn’t just curious. He fed back to two rival gangs. And everyone would just love to know what I was doing.
“I skipped lunch.” I looked him right in the eye when I lied to him. “And I need a new XR80 capacitor.”
“You lost yours?”
“Some fucker took it.” That was as much explanation as I could come up with.
“You had a party or somethin’?”
“Or something,” I semi-agreed. I wasn’t going to tell him my business. One of the two gangs didn’t know an assassin had broken into my place last night, fucked up my electrics, and rudely left me to spend my night disposing of a body and wondering whose it was. Why they’d been in my apartment.
I was going to keep it that way. If they thought it had rattled me, that was enough blood in the water for someone to try again. With bigger guns. Or a better assassin.
Being here was like when I’d been on the prison colony. The best course was to keep my shit to myself. I had a lot of experience with that.
I paid and left. The night rain was like a cold shower. By the time I got back, I was in complete control. The first thing I did was put the capacitor into the fusebox. When I flicked a switch, the power illuminated the place like it was one of those fancy landmarks in the city center.
I blinked in the light. When my eyes adjusted, I went into the living room and put a packet down in front of her.
“Crunchers,” I explained. “Plants to graze on. You need more than just meat to survive.”
She gazed up at me in confusion. The warmth in her eyes was more than I could stand. I didn’t deserve warmth. Couldn’t give it back to her.
“Open the packet and eat. I’m going to make some tea.” I shuffled into the kitchen and opened the box of lantana tea. Its scent grounded me, a little. Blasted away a little of the concrete that seemed to railroad my brain whenever I was near her. I needed that.
I washed two cups and made the drinks. When I handed hers over, she gave me a soft smile, her eyes searching mine for approval. No one had ever looked at me like that, before.
I didn’t care that she looked like a beta. That she had no curves. That she was so tall. The attraction between alphas and omegas transcended looks, personality, even age. When two souls connected so deeply, they formed a bond that couldn’t be put into words. But it was unbreakable. And I knew it as soon as I felt it in the base of my skull. Every moment away from her, a silent siren blared in my mind, screaming at me to go back. She was getting into my head, without trying. And I was no good for her.
I was scared, for the first time in my adult life.
Sitting across the room from her, I drank my tea. Every cell in my body begged me to drop the teacup, throw her down on the floor, rip her clothes off and claim her before anyone else could. Most of my attention was focused on stopping myself. Remaining still. Looking impassive. I didn’t want her to know how she was making me feel.
No one had ever had this much power over me in my entire life. Not even the Epsilon legal system, that had tried me for a crime I didn’t commit, imprisoned me for half a decade, and thrown me out on the streets to rot once my sentence was over.
She only had to ask me to fuck her again, in that soft, sex-starved voice of hers, and I would be completely under her control.
I had to get out.