12
Chapter 12 Alek
How is this so easy?I asked myself with a smile as I glanced around the room, drinking in the most calming atmosphere I had honestly ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Usually, it didn’t matter where I was, I had to be on. People expected a certain behavior from the alpha of the Gemini clan, and I’d built up my reputation around that. I’d been everything that was expected of me and it worked in business and in life. But here, in this room with Karly and the guys, I was pretty sure I could just relax and be me. I liked it, and it felt so freaking good. As easy as breathing, no expectations other that just being. I’d always had the hots for Karly, which had recently turned into something more. But instead of my feelings getting all mixed up and complicated as her hands slid into Rory’s and Chase’s, they just intensified and grew. I liked her even more.
As Hatcher answered one of Karly’s questions intently, I allowed my eyes to slide closed for just a moment and let this amazing fantasy to grow and bloom. I pushed all the thoughts about the competition and winning to the back of my brain. I mentally chose a different path, without pressure and stress. I didn’t worry about winning the races and getting first place. Instead, I wondered what this could be like. I’d thought about a different life before. I’d imagined Karly and I riding off into the sunset and living the life we want. One full of sexiness, passion, and fun. One that would just be nice and normal. One that was heaven. That dream didn’t get worse with the other guys involved, it was just nicer and easier. I got along with all of these guys, even the ones I hadn’t known well before. We all just clicked in a way I couldn’t explain. I didn’t want to explain it actually, I just wanted to enjoy it because it was an awesome connection.
But my eyes popped open because there was no way I could get lost in that fantasy because there was too much at stake. I said this was all about marrying the princess and becoming Bear King one day, but that wasn’t all of it. It never had been, and the threats I’d received from Drew outside before Hatcher and Karly interjected reminded me of that. The warm feeling that had just been surging through me dissipated in an instant as I remembered the way his shitty words made me feel. I couldn’t even think about following my heart. I had to shut these thoughts out before they distracted me and took me away from what I had to do, whether I wanted to or not. There was too much at stake, like the whole zodiac system. If I stepped back and considered love, if I let Drew win, then the empire as we knew it would cease to exist. Plus, I’d have a lot to explain to my clan, and my reputation would be in tatters. Could I seriously let that happen for Karly?
I squeeze my fists by my side and gritted my teeth because this hurt so much. What I really needed to know was if I could really sacrifice all of that, life as I knew it, for my feelings. For her. Even as I met her eyes, I knew the answer, it was sitting there on the tip of my tongue. I might not have wanted to accept it, but it was there. When I finally allowed it to burst free, it flooded my brain so fiercely that I actually spoke the word aloud. “No.”
Everyone turned to look at me. Karly’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. I was media trained, I knew how I was expected to behave with the press, even the one’s I’d recently fucked over the tray table on my private jet. Having a little outburst while someone else was speaking was definitely not the way that things were meant to go. Even if I was thinking about the fate of the Zodiac Empire. I could feel all the color draining from my cheeks.
“Why are you saying no?” Karly half giggled, seemingly in an attempt to pave over the new weirdness in the atmosphere. “You don’t agree with Chase’s training techniques?”
I shook my head as I backed away toward the door, really needing to escape this. It was just too much, and I could hardly bear it. The cocoon that had not only been wrapped around Karly and mw, but everyone else, had weakened. It felt nice and safe to be wanted by such genuine people with whom I could just be myself. But, unfortunately, my life wasn’t destined to be pleasant. I was living for a reason, and that mattered more than anything else, especially my own feelings. Keeping the empire going was all that mattered.
“I just have to get going,” I told Karly, which was only a half lie. “There are only two hours left until the first round of the competition and I want to be ready. I want to prep.”
I didn’t even care about what Ben had offered to show us now, I just needed to get away. It didn’t matter what the other competitors’ training sessions looked like, I needed to focus on me and how I was going to survive. I could not enter the arena with my thoughts all twisted like they were right now. I offered Karly a weak smile, trying to ignore my thumping heart, before I finally backed out of the room and let out a deep breath I didn’t even know I was holding.
It was neversupposed to be a choice between Karly and the empire. Ever. When Karly and I started fooling around, it wasn’t supposed to be anything else. Love was never supposed to be in the equation. But then would I have kept away from her if I’d known it would end up like this? I didn’t think I had the strength. There’d always been that magnetic pull from me to her
The anxiety that had threatened to drown me subsided when I noticed someone else’s presence in the hallway. I turned to find Chase looking at me. I was surprised to find he was the one who’d calmed me down. Judging by the sorrowful smile on his lips, he knew it as well. I was just about to question him on this because I needed to know what had happened, but I didn’t get a chance. The other guys were here now as well. My walking out had effectively ended the interview. I hoped Karly wasn’t too mad.
“We should get to the arena,” Chase told me. “Get our heads in the game. We want to get adjusted to what all of this is going to feel like. No amount of training can prepare us for the real thing.”
Chase patted me on the back as we started to walk together, and I could feel something surging between us all. A knowledge that we all wanted Karly, but that it wasn’t so simple. At least it wasn’t for me. Maybe those three could begin a harem together if they wanted to once the Astro Games were over. There was nothing stopping them from having a happily ever after together. Bitter bile filled my throat. It wasn’t that I didn’t want all of them to be happy, Karly most of all, but my not being in that picture didn’t sit right. I didn’t like it at all. But, of course, I couldn’t put myself in it because I didn’t belong there. I never would. Not when I had so much resting on my shoulders.
“Oh wow, looks like we aren’t the only ones who need to get ready,” Rory commented as we walked into the arena. “Everyone is here.”
The atmosphere was intense. Hopefully distracting enough to take my mind off of the woman I could never really have, even if I was pretty much in love with her. I shut my brain off as much as I could. We all knew I was the guy with the best chance of defeating Drew and winning this. I was the only person who could keep life as it was. It didn’t matter how big a burden that was, I was the one who had to carry it.
“Lance is here already,” I realized as I glanced towards the Gemini assembly bay. “Doing push ups. I better go over there and keep him from hurting himself.”
I exchanged a look with all the other guys, during which I really felt like there was an unspoken agreement settling between us all. An agreement that I needed to be the one to win. Karly was the one who had unleashed something within us and bonded us for life, no matter the outcome of the Astro Games, but it wasn’t much fun knowing that everything we’d shared during the short time we’d bonded would be over soon. We would be competitors, not friends.
I left first, forcing myself to be the strong one to shatter the connection. I headed over to Lance, who had stopped doing push ups and was now frowning at his bike.
“All good?” I asked once I joined him. “You’re glaring at your bike like it’s the enemy.”
“Hey, Alek.” Immediately, he grinned, looking almost relieved that I’d turned up when I did. “No, I was just thinking about…”
As his whole demeanor changed, and I couldn’t resist going into a part shift. That was the moment I felt him. What the hell was Drew doing here? It was like he was challenging me, clawing at me for a fight, like he did earlier today. Didn’t this asshole ever take a break?
“What do you want, Drew?” I was surprised when Lance stood in front of me, defending me. “We’re trying to get ready for the race. Don’t you want to do the same? Save that energy you’re bringing over here for the competition.”
But Drew didn’t even acknowledge Lance. Instead, he kept his eyes firmly fixed on me, his lips curled up in a nasty-looking smirk. “Don’t forget what I said to you,” he growled, not needing volume to get the intensity of his message across. “The fate of the empire rests solely on your shoulders. You better bring it, or all of this will be rubble under your feet.”
With that, he left, not waiting for me to respond. I already knew what he was telling me. I didn’t need it spelled out to me. Although if I was going to have it rubbed in my face, there couldn’t have been a better time. Right as I was worried about going down the wrong path and losing Karly, the only person I could ever lovey, Drew came along to remind me that the whole empire was expecting me to do what was right. This didn’t really feel like it was a competition between the zodiac signs anymore, it felt more like the empire verses the anarchists. Whoever was the best option to win was always going to be expected to sacrifice everything for the greater good. Just because it was my heart on the line didn’t change a thing.
“What a piece of work,” Lance scoffed. “No wonder everyone hates him.”
I slung my arm around my friend’s shoulder and forced a smile onto my face. If I showed Lance that I wasn’t bothered, he would likely follow my lead and calm down. “Who cares? He’s just trying to stir up trouble and get into everyone’s heads. We aren’t going to let him do that, okay?” Lance nodded, although I could definitely sense some doubt there. “Now, show me what you were thinking about when it comes to your bike…”
It was time for me to focus, for all of us to focus. We didn’t have any choice in the matter. How else were we going to let Drew know that none of us were to be messed with and that the Unaligned clan wouldn’t defeat us all?