Chapter Twenty-One
Justice
Aside from business, I haven’t gone back to the club. It doesn’t feel right without her there. It’s been months. Months I haven’t seen her face, heard her voice. Months I’ve needed her, and she hasn’t been here.
“So you wanted to talk?” Rodney asks as he sits across from me in the office at my nightclub.
“I’ve been thinking about expansion. Opening another club,” I tell him. His eyes widen as he nods his head, a grin tugging across his face.
“I like where this is going,” he says.
“We need a bigger place to bring in more people. I was thinking about holding a meet and greet sort of thing here. What are your thoughts on that?” I value Rodney’s input. He’s my righthand man and has been with me a long time. I want to keep it that way.
“I think it’s a good idea. Get some more interest in the club.”
“I agree. Thursdays are free here. We could set it up for one of those days,” I inform him.
“It’s a smart move. I think opening a second club is smart,” Rodney adds.
“Good. Let’s talk more about doing that,” I tell him before leaning back in my seat.
“Why don’t you come back, Justice?”
“There’s nothing there for me now. I don’t know. It all feels wrong without Skylar,” I admit.
“You could just come and hang out at the bar with me. No strings attached,” he says.
“I don’t know, Rodney. I lost something to her, something I can’t get back.” I pour a drink and down it in seconds.
“Your heart. That’s what you lost. Nothing is going to fix it aside from getting her back.” I shake my head. I can’t do that.
“Skylar’s as lost as I am, man. She needs to find herself, and so do I. I don’t know who I am anymore without the club.”
“You’re never going to find yourself again, J. You want to know why?” he asks.
“Why is that?”
“She has a part of you. And without her, you’re never getting it back. I know you don’t want her in this mess with Bana but think about it. Can you really live without her?” he’s right. That’s the million-dollar question because I don’t feel like I’m living. I feel as lost as I’ve ever been, and with her, I was safe. I was in a place where I could look in the mirror and almost see the man I used to be. The man who wanted more out of life.
“It seems wrong,” I whisper.
“Don’t you think she would want you to move on with your life?” Now I look up at him, unsure what to say. I don’t know how she would feel about me moving on. It’s been five years. Five of the longest, hardest years of my life. Why wouldn’t she want me to be happy? Charlene would have hated the thought of me grieving. She wouldn’t want it.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I’m right, J. It’s been a long time, and you have every right to move on. Charlene isn’t coming back, but Skylar? She’s here, J. She’s waiting for you to make the first move.”
“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve messed up with her too. Fuck, I don’t know anymore, Rodney. Maybe I’m meant to be alone.”
“I don’t believe that, and neither do you. Skylar fell into your lap at a bad time, but she’s also brought out another side of you. One I haven’t seen in a long time,” he tells me. I run my hand through my hair and blow out a breath.
“I just don’t know how to move on. It can’t be that easy, can it?”
“I think it can if you just let yourself go. Skylar cares about you too. Christy mentions it all the time.”