Chapter Ten
Skylar
Days. It’s been days of us locked in this hotel room. We’ve found ways to keep busy, mostly with sex. He tied me to the bed and made me scream his name, but he's been different after that first night using his full name. More distant after we have sex.
Maybe it’s all in my mind. Maybe I’m just making it all up. I don’t really know anymore.
I yawn as I sit up in the bed and glance at him sleeping soundly next to me. It’s strange waking up next to him so many times, but a part of me also likes it. I like having him there and knowing that he’ll still be there in the morning. But I know this isn’t going to last. Nothing good ever does.
I shove out of bed and walk to the bathroom, splashing water on my face. I look at myself in the mirror for a long time before I sigh and shake my head. I find myself wondering if my life will always be like this. On my own. Without a man. Why can’t I just let someone in? I’ve been comfortable around Justice lately. I’ve fallen back into an easy routine, and I know I can’t let myself do that. He and I both made it clear about having a relationship.
Ignoring the nagging in my head, I step into the shower and turn it to warm before pressing my forehead against the cool tiles.
I stand under the spray for a long time, allowing my thoughts to run wild when I feel him step in behind me. His hands wrap around my waist, pulling me back into him.
“What are you hiding from, Skylar?” he asks as his hands massage my shoulders. I huff out a laugh.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I snap at him. I don’t know why I feel so defensive, possibly because I’ve never shared this much of myself with a man before.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Justice says, his heat leaving me as he steps back a little.
“Just because we fuck doesn’t mean you get to know my story, Justice.”
“I’m sorry I asked. You’re completely right.” I blow out a breath and just go for it. If I can’t trust Justice with this, who the hell can I trust?
“My mom died when I was seven,” I tell him. With that, his hands come back, massaging my shoulders gently.
“I’m sorry.”
“I was left with my stepdad, and he became abusive after she died. He would always say I looked just like her, and he hated that. Hated that he had to see me every day and not her. He blamed me for her death. It was cancer, but he blamed me.”
“Jesus, Skylar. That had to be horrible for you.”
“When I was eighteen, I moved out. I’d had enough of it and couldn’t take anymore. I met a guy. He was sweet and good to me. We were together for a year when I found out he was cheating on me. I saw it. I saw them together. He tried to make me think I was insane. Tried to make out like I was the crazy one. I’d had enough then too. I knew I was worth more than that,” I tell him. His hands tighten on my shoulders as if he can relate to this. And maybe he can. I don’t know.
“I’m afraid I’m not much better than they were,” he tells me. I spin around to face him, looking up at him as the water cascades around us.
“You are though. You made it very clear what this was and what it wasn’t. This isn’t a relationship, and you made sure I understood that.” He leans into me, pressing his lips to my neck, causing me to shiver with need for him. How do I feel so much, and yet he doesn’t? Is he that good at keeping his feelings out of this?
“I was married once,” he finally speaks, and my heart leaps into my throat.
“What happened?” I see anger, fear, and loss flash in his eyes. Sadness seems to consume him, and I almost feel bad for asking. His hands skim up and down my arms as if he doesn’t know what to do with them.
“They were killed.”
“They?” I ask. Who are they?
“I … I had a daughter too,” he tells me. I can’t do this. He had a family. I don’t want to know what happened. I can’t ask. There’s so much more to this man I never knew, and now I know why he closes off that part of his life. A part of me needs to know what happened while the other part fears it. I shake my head and climb out of the shower, wrapping myself in a towel. Justice climbs behind me and turns off the water before wrapping a towel around his waist.
“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry. I just … I want to know you. I had no right asking you that,” I ramble as he comes to stand in front of me now. His hands cup my face as he holds me there.
“I don’t know what I’m doing with you, Skylar. The feelings I have, I haven’t felt them in a long time.” I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. He must be able to see the questions in my eyes because he licks his lips and begins talking once more.
“There were some guys who came to the club. They wanted to invest in it. I refused. I didn’t need an investor, and I didn’t want one. They knew what the club was bringing in. They knew there was money to be made too. They wanted a piece of the action, and I refused.”
“They … they came back, didn’t they?” I ask softly. He nods his head as tears fill his eyes and mine.
“Charlene brought our daughter to surprise me one night when the club was closed. It was great until it wasn’t. They walked out of the club a few seconds before me. I heard the shots. I fucking heard the screams and then … just silence. I ran out the door, and there, with a gun in his hand, was Bana. He was grinning at me, and as I looked down, I saw them lying there. I’ve never felt that kind of pain in my life. They were gone. Both of them. What kind of sick fuck hurts a child?” he yells, taking a step back away from me.