“Not of them.” It was as if something inside him had come alive. “I’m not afraid of any of them. I’m afraid of myself. What I am or will be. What I’m capable of. If I’m capable of anything. I’m afraid of being alone.” Was that the right way to say it? “Not like alone in a room but without something. People?”
“If you’re not afraid of them, what do you feel?” The knowing in Luca’s eyes said there was something, and he was right.
Reese thought a moment. “Anger, frustration, impatience.” He picked at a stitch on the quilt covering the bed. “Responsible?” He shook his head. “Now that makes no sense.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Then can you explain it to me because I have no idea.”
“I feel responsible for Nox. Like it’s my job to protect him, take care of him. That the Anubis inside him belongs to me, not him. He carries it, but it’s my job to control it. And I want to. Seung said it was my wolf to call, not Nox’s, and I agree with her.”
Was that what Reese felt? Maybe. Possibly. It was something, though, but he didn’t think it was quite the same.
Because it wasn’t as benign or cooperative. So what was left? “Own.” The word settled in Reese’s mind, concreting into place. “I want to take their wolves.” Only it didn’t stop there. “I want to own them, control them. And if I run I can.” The gravity of what he said turned to thorns. “Why would I want to do something like that?”
Luca looked just as confused as Reese felt.
And Reese had never been so confused in his life.
* * *
Luca ate with Dr. Dante just like he’d promised Nox.
Then they sat for a while in total silence. Luca thinking about everything Dr. Dante had said and Dr. Dante looking like a man who was both horrified and perplexed.
Considering everything he’d shared, it made sense.
Night replaced daylight leaving behind the moon as the only light in the room.
Dr. Dante listed to the left then straightened with a jerk.
“Why don’t you go to sleep?” Even in the poor light, the half-circles under Dr. Dante’s eyes were stark.
“Yeah. I probably should. I’ve kept you here long enough.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I know, but I was selfish. I’m sorry.”
“You needed someone to talk to.”
Dr. Dante nodded, then stood.
So did Luca. He pulled back the covers. “Here.”
Dr. Dante huffed a laugh. “I’m forty-one years old. I can put myself to bed.” Yet he stared at the mattress with apprehension.
“You okay?” Luca said.
“Yeah. Nothing I’m not used to.”
“And what are you used to?”
Reese’s green eyes were dark emerald in the moonlight. “Nightmares.” He shrugged. “Sorry, it’s just…” He shuffled his feet like he fought an internal battle to force himself to lie down. Finally, he climbed in.
Luca covered him up then slid up next to him, propping himself against the headboard.
“What are you doing?” Dr. Dante started to sit up.