“For what? I’m the one who…”
“No. Don’t even go there.”
“I did something to you you didn’t want.”
Nox laughed, the bitter sound shattered to something close to a sob. “That’s where you’re wrong.” If he cried, it didn’t carry in his voice. “I told you, Luca, the Anubis—” Nox huffed. “I want you.”
Luca’s heart skipped. “Then why did you look at me like that? Why didn’t you want to touch me?”
“Because of how I want you. You’re a beautiful man.”
Luca laughed.
“You are. I swear you are. I’m attracted to you. I like you. I like you a lot….”
“But?”
“I’m not capable of wanting to be with a person.”
“Because you’re not supposed to respond to me?”
“No, because that ability was stolen from me.”
“You were with my brother.”
“Yeah.”
“Then what’s the difference?”
“Because I wasn’t with him to pleasure him, I was with him to take. He was with me to give. There was no…” His fingers disappeared. The pressure against the door eased, and it loosened in the jam for a moment. When Nox spoke again, his voice vibrated the barrier between them. “There was no affection. It wasn’t love-making, Luca, it was something else. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn’t. And you are not an Alpha. I would hurt you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. When I was with Koda things got violent.”
Luca’s insides knotted. “You hit him.”
“No, no, never.”
“Then what do you mean by violent.”
“I dislocated his hips once. Another one of my team broke Koda’s arm. And we always bit him, clawed him.” Nox made a pain-filled sound. “If he’d been a normal person, he would have never survived.”
Luca’s heart sludged in his chest. He swallowed several times. “W-Why would you do that?” If Nox loved Koda like he claimed, why would he purposely hurt him?
A drip in the tub plinked in the silence.
“He told us to. He knew we needed to. It was the Anubis, not us. It was never really us. The longer we were separated from him, the more aggressive our interactions were.”
“Why were you separated?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You don’t remember?”
“No, I remember, but beyond a reward and punishment system, I don’t really know.”
“Guess.” He had to have some idea.