Glasses cough-sniffled from the corner again, and Gustavo himself seemed quite moved by his brother’s words, judging by the tears in his dark eyes.
“That’s… lovely,” I agreed. Then, I began conversationally, “You know, I have a cousin, but he’s like a little brother. I worry about him too. He can be lonely sometimes. He’s a little shy, but he’s really loyal and kind.”
Gustavo blinked up at me. “He sounds very… admirable.”
Admirable? I’d never thought of Kev that way, but he kinda was. I smiled. “He used to try to be like me when we were younger. It was sweet.”
“You… spent time with him. As a brother.”
I frowned. “Well, yeah. Of course. I love Kev.” I cursed myself the second Kev’s name was out of my mouth. I shouldn’t have volunteered anything.
Gustavo nodded thoughtfully.
I cleared my throat. “So, you’re not married, then? To any of your… women?” I prayed for him to fill the vials faster. Small talk of any kind was not my forte, but apparently I really sucked at small talk with dangerous criminals.
Gustavo chuckled. “I could hardly confine myself to one. That wouldn’t be fair.”
Glasses coughed.
“And, uh… no children?” I pulled the needle out, pressing a gauze pad over the site.
“No, alas. My brother is my only living relative. You see, I have been cursed with exceptionally powerful seed.”
“Ah, gotcha. That’s too—” Glasses stepped forward instantly to whisk the used supplies and the vials of blood away, murmuring something about storing them in the lab, and only then did I finally process Gustavo’s comment. “Wait, what?”
“My seed,” he repeated. “It is so formidable that when I unleash it into a womb, the womb cowers in terror.” He sighed sadly. “There may be a woman who can handle the power, but I have not met her yet, though I continue to search.”
I was torn between horror and laughter. “That is… fascinating. And how did you come to, ah… understand this very true fact about yourself?”
“After the stupid local doctor falsely diagnosed me—” Gustavo’s eyes flashed angrily. “—Gustavo brought in a fertility specialist from Hungary to assess the situation. He seemed a man of great intelligence, much like yourself, and he proved very useful.” He paused, pursed his lips, and shrugged. “Until he didn’t.”
I swallowed hard. Gustavo had started talking about Gustavo’s self in the third person.
Yeah, I was officially afraid.
And I could only imagine the fertility doctor must’ve been equally terrified if he’d actually suggested “ultra-powerful semen” as a fertility issue. I really didn’t want to share that fate.
“So, ah… how many doctors would you say you’ve had to… throw off the mountain?” I asked conversationally.
“Oh, one or two. Five. Eight?” He shrugged. “You know, I don’t actually throw them off the mountain, of course.”
“You… you don’t?”
“Of course not! What kind of man do you take me for, Dr. Carter?”
“Oh! Oh, gosh. Really?” I laughed weakly. “Because I thought you meant you actually—”
“I considered it, obviously. It would have been convenient.” Gustavo examined his nails in the weak light. “But then we would have a pile of bodies right outside our door. The ladies would be upset. And what would Gustavo’s friend Don Pablo—the chief of police in this region, you understand—say when he came to visit? So I have Pedro and, ah… Miguel and…” He snapped his fingers like he was trying to think up a name. “Erm… Ricardo… take them further up into the mountains, then drop them.” He flicked his fingers toward the window.
Oh. Well, then.
This guy was legit insane, and it probably wasn’t a good sign that he was telling me all about this.
“Right. Okay. So. I should probably go and let you rest—”
“Argh,” Gustavo cried, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching his stomach in true agony. Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead, and I wondered if he’d had untreated reflux for so long that he’d developed an ulcer. “The end, it nears!”
“Sir, perhaps if you sit upright a bit more?” I suggested before I could stop myself.
He cracked one eye open. “¿Perdón? What would that do for my heart?”
Fuck. What would that do? Good going, Carter. “Um. Now that you tell me of your powerful seed condition, I wonder if maybe your heart wants to be elevated like a, you know… king? On a throne?”
Gustavo stared at me with narrowed eyes for one beat, then another, until I thought the end really might be near.
“Like a king on a throne,” he repeated, sitting upright. “Yes. Yes!”
“This won’t cure you, of course,” I added quickly, settling some pillows behind his back. “Not long-term. But it might help temporarily. Until I can do the testing on your blood, that is. But of course I’ll need the equipment first.”
“I have the heart of a king,” Gustavo said, like he was testing out the words, and then he nodded to himself happily. “Rodrigo!” he called.