I had not fully gotten to know that side of my mother. By age nine, I was only beginning to learn the many facets of her personality. But I still understood her innate warmth and intelligence exceeded that of most people. “Do you still think of her every day?”
“What a question, Tali. Of course I do. The day I don’t is the day I never think again. But her heart was too pure,” he continued. “She could never pull one over on me. When it comes to character, that’s where I’m smart.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, nesting my hands together in my lap. “You doubt Diego’s character?”
“No—he has been a good addition to the cartel, and faithful to me. But I wouldn’t call him ‘sensitive’ or unlike the rest of us. He is very much an active part of this world.”
“Then why would he want to leave it?” I asked.
My father drew back, looking amused as he dipped crust from his toast into the salsa. “Does he?”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about.” I wrung my fingers. “Diego’s and my plans.”
“Your plans.” He sighed, reclining a hip against one counter. “Which are . . . ?”
I stilled my hands. This was why I was here. Asking my father to accept us might not be an easy conversation, but it was a necessary one. The thought of leaving here knowing Diego would follow gave me strength. I steeled myself with a breath. “I want you to let Diego leave the cartel so he can come to California and be with me,” I said. “I—we—want to start a new life there. Together.”
He took the sip of coffee I’d kept him from and said simply, “It can’t be, Natalia.”
Expecting he’d say that, frustration rose in me quickly. I set my jaw. “You’re not even listening. He’s only dangerous here. With you. Once he’s away from all of this, he’ll be free to start over. To reach his full potential.”
“As what?” He set down his mug and rapped his knuckles on the counter as he intoned, “This is in his blood, Tali—it will follow him wherever he goes. He can run away from México, but not from this life.”
“Then maybe it’s better to have him by my side,” I argued. “Diego is a natural protector. He confronted Cristiano when he could’ve run away. He knows how a criminal thinks and won’t let anything happen to me.”
He chuckled. “I’m impressed with your efforts. That debate class has paid off. But my answer is no.”
My head began to throb. I slid out my ponytail holder and scrubbed my hand through my hair. “I know Diego is an important part of your business, but he isn’t happy—”
“Maybe that’s what he tells you, but it isn’t so,” Dad said, crossing his arms. “There’s no escaping this life for me or him. What would he do in California? Bag groceries? That’s all he’s qualified for.”
I frowned, stung and perplexed that he was around Diego nearly daily and somehow didn’t see what I did. “He’s smart and resourceful,” I reasoned. “He can do anything.”
“That means nothing to a man like him. We’re cut from the same cloth. Here, he’s respected—a businessman, a top advisor. In the U.S., he’ll be powerless. He will be nothing.”
“He’ll be with me,” I said, rising from the stool. “That’s all we care about.”
“Diego will never have a normal life. And I know him better than you—he doesn’t want one.”
“He does,” I shot back. It earned me a look that made me lower my voice. “You’re wrong. He’s not made for this world. You’re the only thing keeping him here.”
Again, he laughed, and it echoed flatly off the tile floors. “You couldn’t be more wrong,” my father said. “Diego’s in too deep. People’s fortunes, futures, and lives are in his hands. Once a man gets a taste of that kind of power, he can never walk away from it. Not even for a woman.”
“But—”
“Enough.” He pressed his mouth into a firm line. “Your safety is my number one priority, and Diego can’t offer you that. A peaceful, simple life would be death for him.” He turned to dump the rest of his toast into the sink. “Go back to school,” he grumbled. “Meet someone who can offer you more. Someone worthy.”
“He is.”
He turned abruptly. “Diego has been an asset to me in many ways,” he said evenly. “He’s shrewd, and a better businessman than most—even without an education. He’s good, but for you, good isn’t enough. I want someone great.” He paused as he balled and flexed both hands. “These things are not to be taken lightly, Natalia. I loved your mother very much. There is no higher honor in my life than to be called her husband and your father.”
“Then you’re taking that honor from Diego.”