“You’re going to do an amazing job.”
It takes him a little while to relax and let out a breath, settling back down in his seat.
“It will sure help to have a woman like you beside me. You’re exactly the kind of mother I want for my kids.”
He pulls me back into his arms at that, and I feel so loved that I could cry.
Ant is going to be leaving for his 5 a.m. flight.
He voices the same thought I’m having as he dishes up our evening paella.
“The weekend’s gone way too fast. I’m really going to miss you.”
I smile at him. “Same for me.”
He looks deep in thought as he presents my dinner on the table.
“Maybe I should delegate a load of my clients and base myself in the UK soon. Finn’s proved he’s almost ready to step up and take the reins.”
His words take me by surprise.
“You could be based in the UK?”
He takes a seat opposite.
“I could be based wherever I want to be. It just depends which client relationships I’m prepared to risk sacrificing. I’d still want to integrate with my team in Berlin, so home working might be the best option, mixed in with trips to the Birmingham office.” He takes his first forkful of paella. “It would mean a demotion, but it would be worth it to be close to you, Cass. At least, I hope so. So long as you feel the same about me.”
I’d never have thought Ant would consider relocating from Berlin. He’s always glowing with so much pride and grit and determination when he talks about his position over there.
I take a swig of my mineral water as he takes a swig of his, and I can’t hold back my grin.
That’s all I do, though. I grin. Because as much as my dreams are jumping up and down with joy, I wouldn’t want to pull him away from his career. That’s his call to make.
It’s him who changes the topic.
“Is the house going to feel empty without me next week?”
“Very. It’s a beautiful house, but it’s a whole load better when you’re in it too.”
“You could get some of your friends over from Bucklebury to visit, or Janie up from town. Make the most of the place. You’re more than welcome.”
He’s trying so hard to make it seem like our home, rather than his, and it’s working. My Newton Road apartment must be gathering dust.
“Maybe I’ll invite Janie up for a takeout this week.”
He holds up one of the paella peppers on his fork. “Or you could cook for her. Show off your new chef skills.”
I laugh. “I think she’d prefer a takeout pizza.”
“Is she one of the unhealthy types?”
I shake my head. “No, not at all. Everyone likes some gossip with takeout and a lovely piece of cake to top it off with, don’t they?”
He shrugs. “I can’t say I’ve got much experience of girls’ nights with gossip, takeout and cake. Or of gossip, takeout and cake, period.”
Janie’s excitement as she checked out this place would be amazing. I can picture her jumping around the kitchen as I grab us a bottle of champagne.
“I think I’ll invite her over then, thanks.”
“She’s welcome to stay. Anyone you want is. This is your place too, so maybe it’s time to consider giving notice on Newton Road?”
Again, he says it so naturally, with enough confidence that the strength of his words have my stomach in a twist. I’m still struggling to believe this is my life now – Ant talking relocating from Berlin, and suggesting I give up my tenancy to move in with him.
“Sorry,” Ant says. “I might be getting ahead of myself. If it’s too soon for you to feel comfortable, then please don’t do it. I’m just so caught up in being with you that I’m thinking aloud.”
He’s already way too good at reading me and my nerves.
I feel so guilty as I reply.
“Don’t be sorry! I’m just blown away. Look at what I’ve been given here. So much love, and life, and… everything. I’m as desperate to dive in as you are, I promise. It just still feels a bit surreal sometimes. To have found something so good.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he says, and reaches out for my hand across the table. “It’s like one of those stories in your old picture books, right? I’m so surprised I’ve been given the chance to live one.”
I get a pang at the memory of our conversation earlier, and how he told me that his mother didn’t love him. It makes me want to reach out right now and never let him go.
Giving up my apartment and moving in with him would be a decent chance to show it.
“My tenancy on Newton Road runs for six months minimum, but I could put my notice in to finish on the earliest date.”