Every reservation I’ve had flies out of the window, because my heart is soaring.
I’ll be making myself at home as much as I can.
My nerves return with a vengeance in Ant’s bed without him. I wake up from one of my typical nightmares where I walk down a wedding aisle to find there is nobody there waiting, the gathered guests looking at me in shock.
It’s normally Jack who’s abandoned me at the altar, but this time it was Ant.
My fears take hold of me, cursing me for diving into a dream that can’t possibly be true.
Am I really the kind of woman who can be everything a guy like Anthony Bradstone needs? I sure wasn’t good enough for Jack.
I felt good enough for Ant last night, though. We spoke on the phone for hours as I made a casserole from his food supplies. I cling on to that thought with everything I have.
Janie is placing florist orders when I walk through the door at work. She finishes up her call and claps her hands together.
“Did you do it? Did you stay at Mr Perfect’s house last night?”
I feel like an absolute idiot for admitting it. I figure the flush of my cheeks must say it all, but she doesn’t pick up on it. She gives an air punch instead.
“Whoa! You’re living the dream right now. I mean, we work in a wedding planning office, but seriously. This puts dreams of romance to shame. You’re ruling it, girl!”
I sit down at my desk and shoot her a glance.
“You don’t think this is crazy? Really?”
“No way!” She heads on over, pulling up a chair on the other side of my desk. “One of our clients last year was as lucky as you. I’d only been here a week when she came in to start planning her wedding. She had an engagement ring on her finger after two weeks of knowing someone. It was a perfect diamond, and she was the happiest woman on the planet.”
I meet her eyes. “And did it work out between them?”
“Yep. She lives out by Creston, on the Colwall road. I still see her in town sometimes and she’s always grinning. When I saw her at the hardware store a few weeks ago, she told me the news. I was one of the very first people she shared it with, and that meant a lot.”
My heart does a jump.
“She’s pregnant?”
“Yeah, she’s pregnant, and she’s so happy. There’s no way she won’t be with Scott for all time. I’d bet everything on it,” she giggles. “Not that I’d have all that much to bet.”
“You really think it’s possible, then? You think a whirlwind romance can lead to long lasting love?”
I can’t believe I’m asking for reassurance from a girl who still lives with her parents, barely out of college and with no experience of heartbreak under her belt. She’s still dreaming of meeting a celebrity heartthrob, and scrolling through dating sites without so much as clicking.
“For sure! Cinderella didn’t get to know Prince Charming for three years before he declared undying love for her at the ball, did she?”
She’s pushing the right buttons for me, and I laugh along with her.
“Good point.”
It’s not about Cinderella, though. It’s about me. It’s about how I feel about myself. Will there be a Susie who sweeps on in and takes Ant from me when I think we’re going strong?
Janie rests her elbows on my desk.
“What was it like being in hot guy’s place without him?”
“Weird,” I reply in an instant.
“Good weird?”
I smile. “Yeah, very good weird. But we did speak on the phone for hours, so I didn’t feel completely like an intruder.”
“He was there in virtual spirit, then. That’s awesome.”
I feel a little bit better at her words, and tell her how I made a casserole, even though I can barely cook, and how Ant instructed me right the way through it. She laughs when I tell her how I dropped a big dollop of diced tomato on his beautiful oak floor.
“He said I’d christened his kitchen, that he’d never been around enough to drop anything like that before. He thought it was hilarious.”
“That’s epic. He wants you there, there’s no doubt about that,” Janie says. “So give him what he wants and drop some more tomatoes in the kitchen. He must be as desperate as you are to find his true love, and you could definitely be the one for him. You’re AMAZING.”
That’s a lovely thing to hear and I reach out to squeeze her hand across the desk, remembering how out of place I first felt when I followed Fiona into my new branch. As much as I believe in synchronicity and fate having a map for us, it didn’t feel like it when I first left Bucklebury. Janie has helped me deal with it. She’s made me feel at home in this office every single day.